Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever noticed your heart racing at random times, or your stomach tightening even when nothing is “wrong”?
Or maybe your thoughts always seem one step ahead of you, rehearsing conversations, preparing for worst-case scenarios, or circling around a worry you just can’t shake.
If so, you might wonder: Is this anxiety, or just stress?
I want you to know that anxiety doesn’t wear just one face, and it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or uncontrollable worry.
Sometimes, it’s subtle, woven into your body, your thoughts, your emotions, in ways that can leave you feeling both restless and worn out at the same time.
Talk therapy can be a helpful way to slow things down. It gives you space to reflect, make sense of your experiences, and put words to the feelings that sometimes feel overwhelming.
Talking things through can bring clarity and can quiet the mental noise when anxiety shows up.
“But anxiety doesn’t always start in your thoughts. More often than not, the very first signs are happening in your body, before your mind even catches on.”
If you’re wondering if you may be struggling with anxiety, keep reading to learn how anxiety can show up in your body, mind, and emotions.
Anxiety in the Body
For many people, anxiety makes its first appearance through physical sensations. The nervous system reacts before the mind even has a chance to make sense of it. Tense shoulders, clenched jaw, or a racing heart, even while sitting still, are common signs your body is on alert.
Sometimes this shows up most clearly at night: you lie down tired and ready for rest, only to feel a knot in your stomach or a tightness in your chest that keeps you awake.
These sensations aren’t random; they’re signals from your body saying, “Something doesn’t feel right,” even if your logical mind knows you are safe.
Clinically, resources like the DSM-5 highlight these body-based symptoms, like muscle tension, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping, as key indicators of anxiety.
“In other words, your body picks up on anxiety long before your thoughts catch up”
🌻Therapist Tip: When you start to notice these patterns, it helps to give your nervous system a way to settle. Press your feet gently into the ground as if you’re rooting into the floor. Inhale for a count of 4, then exhale for 8. Even small shifts in your body can remind you that you’re safe.
Anxiety in the Mind
Anxiety doesn’t just live in the body; it often takes hold of the mind. Because the brain is wired to scan for threats, anxious thoughts can spin in circles by replaying conversations, anticipating the worst, or reminding you of everything you “should” have done differently.
Many people describe feeling pulled out of the present moment.
“ Anxiety can anchor you in the past, stuck on what already happened, or push you into the future, rehearsing every possible outcome. ”
Either way, the here and now feels just out of reach.
Excessive and hard-to-control worry is one of the hallmarks of anxiety. When your thoughts feel louder than your ability to quiet them, it’s a sign your mind is trying to protect you.
The good news is that there are simple ways to interrupt the cycle and remind your brain that it doesn’t have to stay stuck in worry.
🌻Therapist Tip: Cross your arms and give yourself gentle, alternating taps on your upper arms—left, then right. This rhythmic, bilateral input helps the brain settle and can bring balance when your thoughts feel stuck on repeat.
Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety
Did you know anxiety doesn’t just show up as racing thoughts or physical tension? It also weighs heavily on your emotions.
You might feel restless or on edge, like it’s hard to settle into calm. Irritability or frustration may surface more easily, not because you want it to, but because your emotional energy feels stretched thin.
For others, anxiety brings a sense of dread…or the opposite, a kind of numbness where joy and excitement feel just out of reach.
These shifts in mood are part of why anxiety can be so exhausting. When your mind and body are running on overdrive, your emotions follow.
Naming what you’re feeling is the first step toward easing it, and finding ways to release those emotions keeps them from building up inside.
If naming emotions feels hard, I completely understand. It might surprise you, but many of us were never taught how. I share more about recognizing and processing emotions in this blog on learning to connect with your feelings.
🌻Therapist Tip: Set a timer for five minutes, grab a notebook, and write without editing yourself. Start with the phrase, “Right now, I feel…” and let whatever comes spill onto the page. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Giving your emotions a safe outlet may help your body feel a little lighter.
Questions You Might Be Asking Yourself
By now, you may be wondering some of the same questions many people ask when they’re trying to make sense of what they’re feeling:
1.“How do I know if this is really anxiety?”
One of the most confusing parts of anxiety is that it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or obvious fear.
Sometimes it’s the nervous system stuck in a state of hyperarousal, like the gas pedal is pressed down, even when you’re just trying to rest.
Other times, it shows up as anticipatory stress, the sense that something bad is coming, even if nothing is happening at the moment.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by:
Excessive anxiety and worry, occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).
The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.
The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms present more days than not for the past 6 months):
Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)
The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
The disturbance is not attributable to the effects of a substance (like drugs or medication) or another medical condition, and is not better explained by another mental disorder.
Please note: This list comes directly from the DSM-5 and is used by mental health professionals for clinical diagnosis. Reading these criteria can be helpful for self-understanding, but it’s not meant for self-diagnosis. If you recognize yourself in these symptoms, consider reaching out to a mental health provider for support and clarity.
What makes it anxiety is not just the symptoms themselves, but the persistence of them.
Stress usually comes and goes with a situation.
Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers.
It hangs around long enough to interfere with sleep, focus, or your sense of ease in daily life.
And here’s the important part: you don’t need to wait until your anxiety feels unbearable to reach out for support.
It’s not about how “bad” it looks from the outside; it’s about how it feels to you, and whether it’s stealing from your peace of mind.
2.“Why does it show up in my body?”
Anxiety isn’t just one thought; sometimes it can feel like your mind won’t stop racing. But anxiety doesn’t only stay in your mind; it shows up in your body, too, because anxiety involves your nervous system.
Your nervous system can sound the alarm even if you’re in a secure place, which is why you might feel it in your chest, stomach, or muscles just as much as in your mind.
Anxiety often comes from the body misreading cues as threats. For example, a tight deadline at work or a hard conversation with someone you care about might not be life-threatening, but your nervous system can still respond as though you’re in danger.
This is why your heart races, your breath quickens, or your muscles tense up; your body is preparing to protect you.
For many people, past trauma can make this response even stronger.
“When you’ve lived through situations that were overwhelming or unsafe, your nervous system learns to stay on guard. ”
Even years later, small reminders, or sometimes nothing obvious at all, can activate the same fight-or-flight response.
If you would like to learn about trauma and how it affects your well-being, check out our blog, 7 Signs of Unprocessed Trauma.
And when stress builds over long periods of time, your system doesn’t always get the chance to reset. Instead of returning to calm, your body can get stuck in a cycle of hypervigilance. That constant “on edge” state is what so many people recognize as anxiety.
3.“How Can I Calm My Anxiety in the Moment?”
While therapy can help you untangle the deeper roots of anxiety, there are also simple, body-based practices that can bring relief right away.
When your nervous system is activated, your body doesn’t respond well to logic alone. You can’t always “think” your way out of anxiety, but you can show your body that it’s safe. That’s where somatic tools come in.
Here are a few ways to calm your anxiety in the moment:
🌻 Grounding - Bring your attention back to what’s around you right now, instead of getting pulled into worries about the past or future.
🌻 Gentle Movement - Stretching or slow movement helps release the muscle tension your body holds when it’s braced for danger.
🌻 Breathwork - Slowing your breath lowers your heart rate and signals to your brain that it’s okay to settle.
🌻 Soothing Touch - Even placing a hand over your heart or stomach can cue your system toward calm. The warmth and pressure provide a physical reminder of safety.
These practices don’t erase anxiety entirely, but they give you small, accessible ways to interrupt the cycle in real time. And those small moments of relief matter.
They remind your nervous system that it has another option besides staying stuck in survival mode.
Final Reflections
If you see yourself in these words, I want you to know that there is hope.
Nothing about what you’re feeling makes you weak or less than. Anxiety isn’t a flaw in who you are; it’s your body and mind trying, sometimes a little too hard, to keep you safe.
I know it can feel easier sometimes to just keep pushing through, telling yourself you’ll deal with it later. But I want you to know that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Anxiety feels heavy because it is heavy, and it wasn’t meant to be managed alone.
At Life By Design Therapy™, we take a holistic, somatic approach to anxiety. That means we don’t just sit and talk about what you’re going through; we also help you work with your body, so you can start to feel more grounded and safe in your own skin.
“Bit by bit, your system can learn what it feels like to actually exhale again.”
You don’t have to wait until things get worse to reach out. You deserve support now, exactly as you are. 💚
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me; it’s only one part of my experience.
This feeling is temporary; it will pass.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
My body is not the enemy; it’s doing its best to protect me.
My body is allowed to feel what it feels, and I am safe right now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
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