6 Natural Ways to Ease Anxiety
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I know what it’s like to live with anxiety; to feel your body tense up for no clear reason, to lie awake at night with your thoughts running in circles, or to carry that heavy sense of dread through your day.
It takes me back to college during finals week. I can still remember the late nights with my roommates, trying to pull all-nighters, grabbing junk food and soda to push through, running on maybe four hours of sleep before doing it all over again.
My body felt like it was in complete stress mode: exhausted, jittery, and constantly on edge. I remember thinking how brutal it was on both my body and mind, like I was living in fight-or-flight just to get through exams.
And even then, when people would say things like, “Don’t worry so much” or “It’s going to be fine,” it felt impossible to take in, especially when everyone around me was doing the exact same thing, stressing and cramming like their lives depended on it.
That’s the thing about anxiety: if calming down were that simple, you would’ve done it already.
That’s why I want to share a few natural ways to ease anxiety.
These tips are not about “fixing” you or making stress disappear overnight. Instead, they’re gentle, practical practices that can help your nervous system remember what safety feels like.
👉 Here are some of the natural, somatic tools I come back to again and again, for myself and with clients.
1. Grounding To Regulate Your Body
When anxiety pulls you into “what if” mode, grounding can bring you back to the here and now.
I often guide clients through a simple calming sensory practice, because when anxiety takes hold, your body isn’t convinced by pep talks or positive thinking. What it really needs is a direct experience of safety in the present moment.
Therapist Tip: Look around and name five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Move slowly. Let your body notice. This one's an oldie but goodie. It's commonly used when working with trauma clients to help ground them in the present moment.
Grounding helps most when you understand the different ways anxiety shows up in your body and mind. If you want to learn more about those signs, I shared them in our blog, Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing.
2. Breathing to Help Your Body Settle
I’ve learned that when my anxiety spikes, my breath almost always becomes shallow and fast, as if my body is bracing for danger, even when nothing is happening.
Breathing with intention is one of the quickest ways to remind the nervous system it’s okay to settle, because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which signals to the body that it’s safe to relax and come out of “fight-or-flight.”
Therapist Tip: Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, then exhale through your mouth for 6 counts. That longer exhale is what tells your body, “I’m safe enough to slow down.” The longer exhale is a way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
3. Moving Gently to Release Tension
Anxiety doesn’t just affect your thoughts; it gets stored in your body, too.
I see this so often in clients: tight jaws, hunched shoulders, or a leg that just won't stop moving. And honestly? I’ve carried that same tension myself and often have tightness in my neck and shoulders.
When you move, even just a little, you give your body a way to release what it’s holding.
Therapist Tip: Roll your shoulders, stretch your arms overhead, or shake out your hands. If you’re able to, step outside for a short walk. Movement + fresh air is one of the simplest resets I know.
4. Journaling to Clear Mental Loops
Have you ever noticed how anxious thoughts can loop on repeat, like they never stop playing in your head?
Journaling can help break that loop. I often tell clients that thoughts left swirling in your head often grow louder. Writing them down gives them form, and with form comes the chance to shape, shift, and process them.
“Writing them down gives them form, and with form comes the chance to shape, shift, and process them.”
Therapist Tip: Open a notebook and start with the words, “Right now, I feel…” Don’t edit. Don’t overthink. Just let it spill out. You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel after just a few minutes.
5. Establishing a Routine in Your Day for Nervous System Balance
One of the most natural ways to calm anxiety is by creating steady rhythms in your life.
Our nervous systems crave predictability, regular meals, consistent rest, movement, and moments of pause, all of which give your body signals of safety. When those rhythms are missing, anxiety often has more space to grow.
I’ve noticed in myself (and with clients) how skipping meals, staying up too late, or overloading on caffeine can leave the body feeling jittery and on edge.
On the other hand, creating gentle daily rhythms, eating at regular times, drinking enough water, moving your body, and making space for downtime can help the nervous system find balance.
Therapist Tip: Choose one area of your day where you can add more rhythm. Maybe it’s starting your morning with a calm routine, taking a short walk after lunch, or setting a bedtime reminder so your body knows it’s time to unwind. Small, steady rhythms can do more for anxiety than you might expect. If you would like more info on how to start a daily rhythm, check out our blog, How to Build A Daily Routine to Support Overwhelm.
6. Spending Time in Nature to Restore a Sense of Calm
There’s something about being outside that can shift anxiety in a way nothing else does. I notice it in my own body almost immediately; the way my shoulders drop a little, the way my breath deepens.
Nature has a regulating effect.
Even a few minutes in fresh air can remind your nervous system that life is bigger than the cycle of worry you’re in.
Therapist Tip: Step outside and notice three things, like the feeling of the ground steady beneath your feet, the sound of the wind moving or birds calling, or the colors that catch your eye. Let your senses soak it in.
Final Thoughts
Here’s what I want you to remember: these natural practices aren’t about “curing” anxiety or expecting yourself to feel calm all the time. They’re about giving your nervous system small, steady reminders that safety exists. And over time, those reminders add up.
It’s also important to know that these tools take practice and patience. At first, you might not notice a huge shift, or you might find it difficult to concentrate at times, and that’s okay.
Your nervous system has probably been carrying anxiety for a long time, so learning to settle again can take repetition.
The goal isn’t to “get it right”; the goal is to keep showing up with compassion for yourself, even if the progress feels small.
You deserve moments of peace, and it’s possible to create more of them with time, practice, and gentleness toward yourself.
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me. I am more than what I feel in this moment.
I don’t need to get this perfect for it to matter.
My body carries wisdom, and I can learn to listen to it with kindness.
My nervous system is learning that safety is possible.
I can meet my anxiety with compassion instead of judgment.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal anxiety, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever noticed your heart racing at random times, or your stomach tightening even when nothing is “wrong”?
Or maybe your thoughts always seem one step ahead of you, rehearsing conversations, preparing for worst-case scenarios, or circling around a worry you just can’t shake.
If so, you might wonder: Is this anxiety, or just stress?
I want you to know that anxiety doesn’t wear just one face, and it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or uncontrollable worry.
Sometimes, it’s subtle, woven into your body, your thoughts, your emotions, in ways that can leave you feeling both restless and worn out at the same time.
Talk therapy can be a helpful way to slow things down. It gives you space to reflect, make sense of your experiences, and put words to the feelings that sometimes feel overwhelming.
Talking things through can bring clarity and can quiet the mental noise when anxiety shows up.
“But anxiety doesn’t always start in your thoughts. More often than not, the very first signs are happening in your body, before your mind even catches on.”
If you’re wondering if you may be struggling with anxiety, keep reading to learn how anxiety can show up in your body, mind, and emotions.
Anxiety in the Body
For many people, anxiety makes its first appearance through physical sensations. The nervous system reacts before the mind even has a chance to make sense of it. Tense shoulders, clenched jaw, or a racing heart, even while sitting still, are common signs your body is on alert.
Sometimes this shows up most clearly at night: you lie down tired and ready for rest, only to feel a knot in your stomach or a tightness in your chest that keeps you awake.
These sensations aren’t random; they’re signals from your body saying, “Something doesn’t feel right,” even if your logical mind knows you are safe.
Clinically, resources like the DSM-5 highlight these body-based symptoms, like muscle tension, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping, as key indicators of anxiety.
“In other words, your body picks up on anxiety long before your thoughts catch up”
🌻Therapist Tip: When you start to notice these patterns, it helps to give your nervous system a way to settle. Press your feet gently into the ground as if you’re rooting into the floor. Inhale for a count of 4, then exhale for 8. Even small shifts in your body can remind you that you’re safe.
Anxiety in the Mind
Anxiety doesn’t just live in the body; it often takes hold of the mind. Because the brain is wired to scan for threats, anxious thoughts can spin in circles by replaying conversations, anticipating the worst, or reminding you of everything you “should” have done differently.
Many people describe feeling pulled out of the present moment.
“ Anxiety can anchor you in the past, stuck on what already happened, or push you into the future, rehearsing every possible outcome. ”
Either way, the here and now feels just out of reach.
Excessive and hard-to-control worry is one of the hallmarks of anxiety. When your thoughts feel louder than your ability to quiet them, it’s a sign your mind is trying to protect you.
The good news is that there are simple ways to interrupt the cycle and remind your brain that it doesn’t have to stay stuck in worry.
🌻Therapist Tip: Cross your arms and give yourself gentle, alternating taps on your upper arms—left, then right. This rhythmic, bilateral input helps the brain settle and can bring balance when your thoughts feel stuck on repeat.
Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety
Did you know anxiety doesn’t just show up as racing thoughts or physical tension? It also weighs heavily on your emotions.
You might feel restless or on edge, like it’s hard to settle into calm. Irritability or frustration may surface more easily, not because you want it to, but because your emotional energy feels stretched thin.
For others, anxiety brings a sense of dread…or the opposite, a kind of numbness where joy and excitement feel just out of reach.
These shifts in mood are part of why anxiety can be so exhausting. When your mind and body are running on overdrive, your emotions follow.
Naming what you’re feeling is the first step toward easing it, and finding ways to release those emotions keeps them from building up inside.
If naming emotions feels hard, I completely understand. It might surprise you, but many of us were never taught how. I share more about recognizing and processing emotions in this blog on learning to connect with your feelings.
🌻Therapist Tip: Set a timer for five minutes, grab a notebook, and write without editing yourself. Start with the phrase, “Right now, I feel…” and let whatever comes spill onto the page. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Giving your emotions a safe outlet may help your body feel a little lighter.
Questions You Might Be Asking Yourself
By now, you may be wondering some of the same questions many people ask when they’re trying to make sense of what they’re feeling:
1.“How do I know if this is really anxiety?”
One of the most confusing parts of anxiety is that it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or obvious fear.
Sometimes it’s the nervous system stuck in a state of hyperarousal, like the gas pedal is pressed down, even when you’re just trying to rest.
Other times, it shows up as anticipatory stress, the sense that something bad is coming, even if nothing is happening at the moment.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by:
Excessive anxiety and worry, occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).
The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.
The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms present more days than not for the past 6 months):
Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)
The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
The disturbance is not attributable to the effects of a substance (like drugs or medication) or another medical condition, and is not better explained by another mental disorder.
Please note: This list comes directly from the DSM-5 and is used by mental health professionals for clinical diagnosis. Reading these criteria can be helpful for self-understanding, but it’s not meant for self-diagnosis. If you recognize yourself in these symptoms, consider reaching out to a mental health provider for support and clarity.
What makes it anxiety is not just the symptoms themselves, but the persistence of them.
Stress usually comes and goes with a situation.
Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers.
It hangs around long enough to interfere with sleep, focus, or your sense of ease in daily life.
And here’s the important part: you don’t need to wait until your anxiety feels unbearable to reach out for support.
It’s not about how “bad” it looks from the outside; it’s about how it feels to you, and whether it’s stealing from your peace of mind.
2.“Why does it show up in my body?”
Anxiety isn’t just one thought; sometimes it can feel like your mind won’t stop racing. But anxiety doesn’t only stay in your mind; it shows up in your body, too, because anxiety involves your nervous system.
Your nervous system can sound the alarm even if you’re in a secure place, which is why you might feel it in your chest, stomach, or muscles just as much as in your mind.
Anxiety often comes from the body misreading cues as threats. For example, a tight deadline at work or a hard conversation with someone you care about might not be life-threatening, but your nervous system can still respond as though you’re in danger.
This is why your heart races, your breath quickens, or your muscles tense up; your body is preparing to protect you.
For many people, past trauma can make this response even stronger.
“When you’ve lived through situations that were overwhelming or unsafe, your nervous system learns to stay on guard. ”
Even years later, small reminders, or sometimes nothing obvious at all, can activate the same fight-or-flight response.
If you would like to learn about trauma and how it affects your well-being, check out our blog, 7 Signs of Unprocessed Trauma.
And when stress builds over long periods of time, your system doesn’t always get the chance to reset. Instead of returning to calm, your body can get stuck in a cycle of hypervigilance. That constant “on edge” state is what so many people recognize as anxiety.
3.“How Can I Calm My Anxiety in the Moment?”
While therapy can help you untangle the deeper roots of anxiety, there are also simple, body-based practices that can bring relief right away.
When your nervous system is activated, your body doesn’t respond well to logic alone. You can’t always “think” your way out of anxiety, but you can show your body that it’s safe. That’s where somatic tools come in.
Here are a few ways to calm your anxiety in the moment:
🌻 Grounding - Bring your attention back to what’s around you right now, instead of getting pulled into worries about the past or future.
🌻 Gentle Movement - Stretching or slow movement helps release the muscle tension your body holds when it’s braced for danger.
🌻 Breathwork - Slowing your breath lowers your heart rate and signals to your brain that it’s okay to settle.
🌻 Soothing Touch - Even placing a hand over your heart or stomach can cue your system toward calm. The warmth and pressure provide a physical reminder of safety.
These practices don’t erase anxiety entirely, but they give you small, accessible ways to interrupt the cycle in real time. And those small moments of relief matter.
They remind your nervous system that it has another option besides staying stuck in survival mode.
Final Reflections
If you see yourself in these words, I want you to know that there is hope.
Nothing about what you’re feeling makes you weak or less than. Anxiety isn’t a flaw in who you are; it’s your body and mind trying, sometimes a little too hard, to keep you safe.
I know it can feel easier sometimes to just keep pushing through, telling yourself you’ll deal with it later. But I want you to know that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Anxiety feels heavy because it is heavy, and it wasn’t meant to be managed alone.
At Life By Design Therapy™, we take a holistic, somatic approach to anxiety. That means we don’t just sit and talk about what you’re going through; we also help you work with your body, so you can start to feel more grounded and safe in your own skin.
“Bit by bit, your system can learn what it feels like to actually exhale again.”
You don’t have to wait until things get worse to reach out. You deserve support now, exactly as you are. 💚
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me; it’s only one part of my experience.
This feeling is temporary; it will pass.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
My body is not the enemy; it’s doing its best to protect me.
My body is allowed to feel what it feels, and I am safe right now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Heal Your Body Image With These body-based tools
By Melody Wright, LMFT
You tug at your clothes, cross your arms, shift your posture.
You find anything to distract others from the parts of yourself you can’t stop criticizing.
And it doesn’t just happen in the mirror. It follows you into photos, into conversations, even into the way you carry yourself through a crowded room.
Even when others don’t notice, your mind zooms in on the details like your hips, which you think are too wide, arms that don’t look toned enough, or skin that never seems smooth enough.
This isn’t just about confidence, it isn’t vanity, and it isn’t you being dramatic.
These patterns often trace back to something deeper.
Maybe it’s things you went through when you were younger, stress that’s built up over time, or a nervous system that reacts by bracing, numbing out, or pulling away.
You didn’t choose to feel this way.
And the way forward isn’t about forcing yourself to feel confident.
It begins with helping your body feel safe again.
Start with Safety, Not Self-Esteem Hacks
A lot of people come into therapy thinking they just need to change the way they think about their body. And while mindset work has its place, it’s not usually where we begin.
Because if your body hasn’t felt like a safe place to live in, no amount of positive thinking is going to change that.
You can say kind things to yourself, but still feel your chest tighten or your stomach drop the moment you try to believe them.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means your body has learned to protect you…through tension, through checking out, through trying to stay small.
This isn’t about forcing your body image to improve.
It’s about slowly helping your body feel safe enough to come back to.
How Somatic Therapy Supports Body Image Healing
In somatic therapy, we don’t just explore what you think about your body; we pay attention to what your body has been holding all along.
Body image struggles often show up in subtle, physical ways. You might not even realize it at first. Maybe it looks like…
a slouched posture from years of trying to disappear
holding your breath as you walk into a room
tension that lives in your stomach, jaw, or chest
avoiding mirrors or photos…not out of vanity, but because being seen feels overwhelming
These aren’t random habits.
They’re protective responses.
Your nervous system may have learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze in order to cope with being judged, sexualized, ignored, or controlled.
And that makes so much sense.
In therapy, we start by slowing things down by gently noticing what’s happening in your body with curiosity, not judgment.
We create space where your body doesn’t have to perform or protect. It can just be.
And from there, we begin to build something new.
✔️ A felt sense of safety.
✔️ A deeper connection with yourself.
✔️ A shift that doesn’t come from forcing, but from finally feeling safe enough to stay.
That’s how body image begins to change, not just in your thoughts, but in your whole system.
Why Your Window of Tolerance Matters
If you’ve ever worked with a somatic therapist, you might’ve heard the term “window of tolerance.”
But if you haven’t, your “window of tolerance” is a way of understanding how much emotional or physical stress your nervous system can handle before it starts to feel overwhelmed or shut down.
When you’re within that window, things feel manageable.
You can stay present, think clearly, and respond rather than react.
But for many people who struggle with body image, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, that window can be much narrower.
If you grew up in a home where your body was constantly judged or controlled, or you were teased, praised for losing weight, ignored, and made to feel like your body wasn’t enough…your nervous system may have learned early on that being in your body wasn’t safe.
So when something triggers body shame, like a photo, a comment, or even just catching your reflection, your system might respond automatically.
🌻Tightening.
🌻Shutting down.
🌻Spiraling into self-criticism.
Not because you’re overreacting, but because your body is trying to protect you from a familiar kind of pain.
In somatic work, we don’t try to push past that.
We work gently, helping your body build more capacity, so you can feel safer within yourself and stay present longer before overwhelm sets in.
That’s what it means to widen your window of tolerance.
And over time, that space creates the conditions for real, lasting change.
Not by forcing yourself to feel differently but by helping your system know that it’s safe to stay.
Somatic Tools to Support Your Body Image Healing
Even if you’re not in therapy right now, there are still small, supportive ways you can begin to reconnect with your body.
The practices below aren’t about pushing through or trying to fix anything.
They’re about creating tiny moments of safety; places where your system can soften, settle, and slowly begin to trust again.
Each one is simple and invites you to feel just a little more at home in your body.
1. Gentle Reconnection
Place your hand over your heart, your belly, or anywhere that feels neutral. Feel the warmth of your own touch. Let your breath move beneath it, slowly and gently.
👉Why it helps: This kind of physical contact offers your nervous system a sense of containment and reassurance, especially if safe, nurturing touch hasn’t always been part of your experience. It’s a quiet way of telling your body that it’s secure.
2. Orienting
Let your eyes move slowly around the space you’re in. Find something that feels calming, like a soft texture, a plant, or the way sunlight falls across the floor. Let yourself settle there for a moment, and notice what shifts in your breath or body.
👉Why it helps: This simple practice helps anchor you in the here and now. When your body image triggers pull you into old patterns or future fears, orienting reminds your system that it’s okay.
3. Pendulation
Bring your awareness to a sensation that feels challenging, maybe tightness in your chest or a lump in your throat. Stay there just for a breath or two. Then shift your attention to something that feels neutral or supportive, like your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath, or the feeling of your back against the chair.
👉Why it helps: This teaches your nervous system that it’s possible to move between discomfort and ease without getting stuck in shutdown. It builds flexibility, which, over time, expands your capacity to stay with yourself.
4. Embodied Movement
Put on music and let your body move in whatever way feels good. No mirrors. No expectations. Just notice what your body wants, whether it’s swaying, stretching, or stillness.
👉 Why it helps: When movement becomes about sensation instead of performance, your body gets to express instead of protect. It’s a powerful way to reconnect with aliveness, joy, and freedom in your body.
5. Boundary Setting for Body Image Triggers
Notice what pulls you out of your body or makes you feel like you’re not enough. It might be certain social media accounts, mirrors in specific lighting, conversations about diets, or even particular environments. Give yourself permission to step back or set limits.
Unfollow, mute, take space, or say “not right now.” You’re not avoiding, you’re protecting your capacity to heal.
👉 Why it helps: Your nervous system can’t heal in a constant state of comparison or threat. Setting boundaries with body image triggers helps create the safety your system needs to reconnect with your body from a place of care, not criticism.
Final Reflections
Healing your relationship with your body isn’t a one-time breakthrough or a quick mindset shift. It’s a slow, lived process that asks you to stay present with yourself in ways you may never have been taught.
It’s about creating safety where there’s been fear, trust where there’s been disconnect, and compassion where there’s been criticism.
You don’t have to love your body to begin healing it. You just need a willingness to turn toward it, with patience, curiosity, and care.
Your body may be holding stories that were never yours to carry. But it’s also capable of holding something new: a sense of ease, belonging, and strength.
And with time, support, and safety, you can come home to yourself again.
This Weeks Affirmations
My worth is not defined by how I look, but by how I exist and feel.
I am allowed to move at the pace of safety.
My body remembers, and my body can also relearn.
Discomfort is not danger. I can breathe and stay connected.
My body is not a problem to solve. It’s a place I can learn to tend to with care.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to heal body image and boost self-esteem, check out these books below.
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Use Affirmations to Build Self-Worth
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I often see people come into sessions feeling defeated by their own inner dialogue.
They’ve tried to shift it by trying positive affirmations, but the words don’t seem to land.
If you’ve ever said an affirmation like, “I am enough,” only to feel discomfort, disbelief, or even shame in response, there are so many people who feel the same way.
However, I want you to know that you’re not doing it wrong.
The response you feel can be deeply informative.
It tells you something about your nervous system and how it’s been shaped by past experiences.
“Your self-worth isn’t just a mindset. It’s a lived experience in the body”
When your nervous system has learned to be hypervigilant, shut down, or stuck in survival mode, it’s not concerned with worthiness. It’s focused on protection. This means that trying to think your way into self-worth with affirmations can feel jarring, even threatening, if your body doesn’t yet feel safe.
As a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that healing isn’t just about thinking differently; it’s about feeling safer and more connected in your body.
Affirmations are just one piece, but when paired with nervous system awareness and gentle regulation, they can help us start to rewire those deeply held beliefs.
Are Affirmations a Form of Shadow Work?
In many ways, yes.
Shadow work is about meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve exiled, whether out of shame, fear, or protection.
Affirmations often reveal those shadows.
When you say, “I am worthy,” and a voice inside says, “That’s not true,” you’ve just found a part of yourself that still needs healing.
That discomfort isn’t a sign to stop.
The process of practicing affirmations can reveal the parts of us that still hold doubt or pain.
They bring up the wounded parts, the protectors, the stories we’ve internalized.
In this way, they can surface the unconscious, just like shadow work does.
The key is to stay curious and compassionate toward whatever arises in response.
When you bump up against a block, it’s not a dead end. It’s your nervous system’s way of saying, “There’s something here that still needs care.”
What Are Common Blocks to Practicing Affirmations?
A block might show up as a tight chest, a sinking feeling in your stomach, or an inner voice that scoffs.
It might be rooted in early relationships where love had to be earned, or times when hope was followed by hurt.
Whatever form it takes, a block is usually your body’s attempt to protect you from perceived threat, even if that threat is something as simple as believing you're enough.
If affirmations bring up discomfort, that’s okay.
That discomfort is a messenger.
Take a moment to slow down and ask, “Which part of me doesn’t believe this yet? What does it need?”
Some other common things you might experience are:
🌻 Feeling fake or silly
🌻 Shame or grief surfacing
🌻 A sense of misalignment because the affirmations don’t match your lived experience
🌻 Fear around believing good things might lead to disappointment
But...how do you start this journey? You’ll find out by the end of this blog! 😉
4 Ways to Make Affirmations More Effective and Meaningful
Affirmations don’t work just because we repeat them over and over; they work when our body feels grounded enough to receive them.
When your nervous system feels overwhelmed or shut down, even the most well-meaning affirmation can bounce off.
But when you feel steady, calm, and connected, there’s more space for those words to take root.
Here’s what helps:
1️⃣ Regulation comes first: Start affirmations when you feel relatively calm. Or use regulating tools (breath, grounding, gentle movement) to create that calm as you speak them.
2️⃣ Keep them believable: An affirmation like "I’m learning how to feel safe in my body" may land better than "I love everything about myself."
3️⃣ Use the body as a bridge: Place a hand on your heart or belly, soften your jaw, or sway gently. This signals to your system that it’s okay to receive new input.
4️⃣ Say them in a place that feels safe: Repetition matters, but so does the context. Try affirmations in places that feel warm and supportive.
Once your body feels supported and safe enough to take in the words, the next step is allowing those affirmations to move from something you say… to something you start to believe.
How To Start Believing Your Affirmations
You try to affirm something good about yourself… but there’s that part of you that pulls back.
It’s hard when the words feel so far from your truth.
That space in between, between saying it and actually believing it, is where the real work begins.
Making that shift from saying the words to truly feeling them takes:
🌻 Nervous system safety
🌻 Time and repetition
🌻 Curiosity about what’s in the way
“We’re not trying to overwrite your history; we’re creating space for new stories to emerge.”
Think of affirmations as seeds.
If the soil is still frozen by fear or trauma, nothing can grow.
But if we warm the soil with regulation and care, those seeds (even tiny ones like “I’m not broken”) can begin to take root.
How Can You Start Your Affirmation Journey?
Your affirmation practice doesn’t have to be loud or polished.
In fact, the gentlest openings are often the most transformative.
If the idea of affirmations feels overwhelming, start by noticing your internal response.
What arises in your body when you say something kind to yourself? Is there tightening, resistance, or a feeling of emptiness?
These are all clues that your nervous system is communicating with you.
The goal isn’t to push past the discomfort but to stay with it just long enough to offer warmth.
Small, compassionate truths are powerful. Try starting with:
“It’s okay to go slow.”
“I’m learning to listen to myself.”
“I’m open to the idea that I might be worthy.”
“I’m doing the best I can with what I know.”
And if some days the words feel unfamiliar or a little out of reach, that’s okay. Letting them feel awkward, clunky, or new is still a beautiful place to begin.
Final Thoughts
Affirmations are not about ignoring pain or pretending to be okay.
They’re about creating new possibilities through repetition, regulation, and relationship.
As a somatic therapist, I’ve seen how powerful this work can be when we bring the body along for the journey.
You deserve to feel safe.
You deserve to feel worthy.
Let’s give your nervous system the conditions it needs to believe that.❤️
This Weeks Affirmations
I am learning to feel safe in my body.
Safety is a feeling I’m growing into.
I can hold space for who I am and who I’m becoming
I can move at the pace my body needs.
I don’t have to earn my worth; I already have it.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to build your self-worth, check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
6 Ways to Return to the Present When Your Mind Won’t Stay Put
By Melody Wright, LMFT
When it’s hard to focus, it’s easy to blame things like too much screen time, not enough willpower, or falling behind on another productivity hack.
But struggling to focus usually isn’t about a lack of discipline; it could be your body or mind trying to tell you something.
Sometimes we push past those signals without even realizing it.
We distract ourselves because sitting with what we’re really feeling can be uncomfortable.
Distraction isn’t a bad habit; it can actually be a way our system protects us from feeling overwhelmed.
You might notice your attention slipping when there’s something underneath the surface that hasn’t had space to be felt. And the more we ignore that, the harder it is to stay present.
But when we pause and notice what’s really going on inside, it becomes easier to come back to the present moment.
Regaining focus is possible, you just need to learn how to build awareness around your patterns. And that starts with paying attention to what’s happening within.
Instead of jumping straight into strategies, it’s worth taking a moment to look at what’s actually pulling your focus away in the first place.
Understanding the Root of Distraction
Distraction May Be a Symptom of Unseen Stress and Disregulation
Distraction is frequently misunderstood as laziness or a lack of motivation.
It’s easy to overlook or misunderstand, but sometimes what looks like distraction or shutdown is really the nervous system’s way of saying, “This feels like too much.”
Sometimes the overwhelm is obvious, like when you're under pressure or juggling too many demands.
Other times, it can be the subtle emotions that linger, an unresolved tension in the background, or the result of pushing through for too long without rest.
Before jumping into another productivity hack or forcing yourself to push through, try asking:
✔️Has my body had time to rest lately?
✔️ Is something I’m avoiding trying to surface?
✔️ What emotions or sensations have I been brushing past?
These aren’t questions to answer quickly, they’re invitations to slow down and get curious about what’s happening beneath the surface.
We Often Override the Signals Meant to Guide Us
Many of us have learned to push through discomfort.
We override the tightness in our chest, the racing thoughts, or the fatigue behind our eyes.
We reach for caffeine, open another tab, or power through our to-do list, believing that more effort will bring clarity.
But what if:
That stomach ache may be anxiety.
That foggy head could be stress, grief, or unmet needs.
That impulse to scroll might be your system asking for a pause… not more pressure.
Overriding these signals creates a loop: the more we ignore, the louder the body speaks, often through distraction, discomfort, or shutdown.
Reconnection begins with permission:
✔️Permission to slow down
✔️Permission to feel what’s there
✔️Permission to respond instead of override
Once we begin listening to these signals with curiosity instead of judgment, we can start using supportive tools that help us stay grounded and present.
6 Coping Skills That Support Focus Through the Body and Nervous System
So, what can you do to actually refocus when your mind is scattered and your body’s feeling off?
Here are a few body-based strategies to try:
1. Let Your Body Give You Feedback
When focus fades, returning to your body can help you understand why. The body has a way of picking up on things before the mind does.
You might notice your shoulders are tight, your jaw is clenched, or your breath is shallow.
These signals matter.
Somatic Tip: The next time you feel your attention starts to shift, try:
✔️ Pause and place a hand on your chest or belly
✔️ Ask, “What am I feeling physically right now?
✔️ Notice without needing to change anything
Even a brief pause to check in can interrupt the cycle of distraction and create space to refocus with more intention.
2. Use Grounding Practices to Come Back to the Moment
Being present doesn’t always come naturally, especially in overstimulating or emotionally charged environments.
Grounding practices can give your body and brain the cues they need to settle into the moment.
Somatic Tip: If your mind keeps drifting or your body feels tense, try these grounding tools to bring yourself back to the present moment.
✔️ Feel your feet: Press them into the floor. Shift your weight side to side.
✔️ Orient visually: Look around the room. Name five things you see.
✔️ Breathe rhythmically: Inhale for four counts, exhale for six. Repeat gently.
These aren't tools for forcing yourself to concentrate, they’re ways to support your body so it can come back to the task at hand more easily.
3. Help Your Nervous System Feel Safe
The ability to focus depends on whether your nervous system feels safe, not just in your environment, but inside your body.
When there’s a sense of internal threat or unrest, focus often gives way to survival-based responses like hypervigilance, avoidance, or shutdown.
This internal threat can simply be uncomfortable emotions being avoided, or stress from having too much on your plate.
You might notice this when:
✔️ You feel scattered, no matter how much you care about the task
✔️ You start something and instantly want to do something else
✔️ Your body is buzzing with energy, but you're too drained to focus
Somatic Tip: When your nervous system is feeling overwhelmed, try small, soothing movements that communicate safety to your body:
✔️ Swaying slowly side to side or rocking forward and back
✔️ Using gentle pressure on your arms and legs, or wrap yourself in a blanket
✔️ Stepping outside for fresh air and a reset
Small physical shifts like these can help your system settle, and focus often returns when there’s a sense of safety.
4. Work With Your Natural Rhythms
Strict routines can backfire when you're already running on low capacity.
Instead of holding yourself to rigid expectations, try working within your natural rhythms, your energy cycles, emotional waves, and the signals your body sends throughout the day.
Somatic Tip: Notice when your energy naturally rises and dips throughout the day. Then experiment with flexible structures that work with your body, not against it:
✔️ Focus sprints: Work for 25–45 minutes, then take a break
✔️ Anchor points: Use small rituals like making your favorite cup of tea, stretching, or soft lighting to begin or end focus periods
✔️ Energy mapping: Track when you feel most alert or calm during the day and schedule tasks accordingly
This approach treats focus as something to support, not something to control. It makes room for rest and presence to exist side by side, so you can recharge without completely checking out.
5. Gently Bring Your Attention Back When It Wanders
Distraction is part of being human.
The goal isn’t to eliminate it, but rather to become aware that it’s happening and give yourself compassion when it does.
When your mind wanders, try responding with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
Somatic Tip: When you catch your mind wandering, take a breath and gently guide it back, without judgment. Try saying to yourself:
✔️ “It’s okay. Let’s come back to this.”
✔️ “I can start again from right here.”
✔️ “Distraction is normal. I’m still showing up.”
Focus becomes more sustainable when it feels safe to return, again and again.
6. Use Your Senses to Support Focus
Sensory input can help the body orient and settle.
Consider creating small sensory rituals that signal to your system, “This is a time for focus.”
Somatic Tip: Choose one or two sensory rituals to help signal to your body that it’s time to settle in:
✔️ Scent: Use essential oils like rosemary, citrus, or cedarwood
✔️ Sound: Play instrumental or ambient nature sounds
✔️ Touch: Keep a smooth stone, soft fabric, or grounding object nearby
✔️ Taste: Sip something warm and calming before you begin
These simple cues offer familiarity and comfort, which can reduce resistance and help your body ease into focus.
Final Thoughts
Focus isn’t just a mental task, it’s a full-body experience.
It’s shaped by how we listen to ourselves, how we respond to our needs, and how we treat the parts of us asking to be noticed.
When distraction shows up, it’s not always a sign to push harder. Sometimes it’s a quiet signal from within, asking for a moment of care.
The invitation isn’t to force more effort. It’s to pause. To feel. To respond instead of override. And to return, to yourself over and over again.
This Weeks Affirmations
It’s safe for me to slow down and listen to what I need.
Focus grows when I feel safe, supported, and seen by myself.
I honor what’s present, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I can meet myself with patience, even when my mind wanders.
I don’t have to push through—I can pause and respond.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support focus, presence, and nervous system awareness, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation by Deb Dana
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—And How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.