10 Ways to Prioritize Your Mental Health During the Holidays
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Every year, it sneaks up on you. One moment you’re lighting a candle or hanging the first ornament, and the next, your mind is already spinning with the gifts to buy, people to please, and plans to finalize.
You tell yourself you’ll slow down after all the boxes are checked on your list, but “after” never seems to come.
You want to feel present, grateful, even, but underneath the to-do lists and family dynamics, something feels off. Maybe you’re holding grief that no one talks about.
Maybe you’re stretched thin trying to make things “special.” Or maybe you just feel disconnected from the joy everyone else seems to be having.
If that’s you, I want you to know it makes sense.
The holidays tend to amplify everything we’re already holding. Not just the love and nostalgia, but also the exhaustion, the loneliness, and the ache for things to be different.
This year, instead of pushing through, what if you cared for yourself the way you care for everyone else?
So, keeping the busy you in mind, here are ten gentle ways to tend to your mental health this season. And guess what, it’s not by doing more, but rather by slowing down to check in with your mind and body.
10 Ways to Prioritize Your Mental Health During the Holidays
1. Acknowledge A Mixture of Emotions
The holidays can stir up mixed emotions like joy that your family is together, sadness that it doesn’t look like it used to, gratitude for what you have, or even grief for what’s missing.
Maybe you’re celebrating with friends, but secretly miss the way your childhood home smelled of cinnamon and pine. Maybe you’re surrounded by people but still feel lonely.
Both can be true.
Feeling conflicting emotions doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful; it means you’re emotionally aware.
Our brains are wired for duality; we can hold warmth and sadness, love and loss, hope and fatigue all at once.
Naming what’s here (“I feel grateful and tired”) helps your nervous system relax. It reminds your body it’s safe to feel both without needing to choose one or fix the other.
2. Release The Need For Perfection
We all carry invisible scripts about what the holidays “should” be, whether that be the perfectly decorated home, the happy family photo, or the sense of magic and meaning.
But those expectations often clash with real life: schedules, grief, stress, and fatigue.
When we chase perfection, we disconnect from presence.
Let “enough” be the new goal. If you’re running behind on dinner, if the gifts end up in bags instead of perfectly wrapped, or if you keep some traditions simple this year, I want you to know that it’s okay.
The people who love you don’t need the curated version of you; they need the one who can laugh at the burnt cookies and still enjoy the moment.
Releasing perfection isn’t giving up; it’s coming back to what matters: connection, calm, and authenticity.
3. Communicate Gentle Boundaries to Protect Your Peace
The holidays can pull you in every direction. The family gatherings, work parties, and obligations that sound good on paper but can leave you drained in reality.
It’s okay to say no.
You’re not selfish for needing rest or for skipping an event that feels more stressful than joyful.
“Boundaries make it possible to show up for people in a way that feels good, not draining.”
They sound like:
“I can come for an hour, but I’ll need to head home early.”
“I’d love to help, but I don’t have the bandwidth this week.”
“That topic feels a little heavy for me right now. Can we come back to it tomorrow when I’ve been able to process this longer?”
Each boundary is a small act of nervous system regulation, a reminder that you can stay connected without abandoning yourself.
If you’d like to explore this more deeply, read our blog, Mindful Limits: The Connection Between Boundaries and Self-Compassion, a guide to creating boundaries that protect your peace without disconnecting from the people you love.
4. Remember Your Body In The Process
Your body experiences the holidays just as much as your mind does: the travel, the sugar, the noise, the lights, the constant stimulation.
When your system is overstimulated, your body shifts into protection mode. You might notice tight shoulders, shallow breathing, or zoning out when things get too loud.
To come back to safety, try:
Taking a long exhale (it tells your vagus nerve you’re safe).
Pressing your feet down and feeling the support under your feet.
Looking around the room and naming five things you see.
These small grounding moments bring you back to your body, and your body back to the present.
5. Make Space For Quiet
Stillness can feel foreign when life is busy, but it’s often the medicine your body needs most.
Remember, you don’t have to fill every moment with conversation or tasks.
Give yourself permission to have quiet mornings, slow walks, and maybe a few hours away from your phone.
Making intentional space for quiet moments allows your mind and body to rest and recalibrate.
6. Choose Connection That Feels Nourishing
Not every relationship feels good during the holidays. Some gatherings are filled with love; others might leave you feeling small or misunderstood.
This year, choose depth over obligation. Spend time with people who see you, rather than those who drain your energy.
If you’re alone this season, connection can look different. Try volunteering, attending a community event, or simply sitting in a cozy café surrounded by quiet company.
Loneliness often softens when we’re witnessed, even by strangers.
7. Honor The Grief That Lingers
Loss doesn’t take a holiday.
Whether it’s the loss of a person, a relationship, or simply a season of life that’s gone, it’s okay if joy feels tender.
Grief has a way of resurfacing in small ways like a song on the radio, a scent, an empty chair at the table.
If you feel yourself tearing up in the middle of something “happy”, that’s your heart remembering.
It’s okay to create space for remembrance. You can try lighting a candle, looking at photos, or carrying on a tradition. You’re not inviting sadness; you’re giving your love a place to land.
Grief doesn’t have to be something you carry alone.
If you’d like more support with this part of the season, read our blog on Navigating Grief During the Holidays, a compassionate guide to honoring your loss, tending to your emotions, and finding gentle moments of connection amid the pain.
8. Be Mindful Of Your Rhythms
During the holidays, it’s easy to slip out of the routines that support you. Late nights, heavy foods, skipped meals, or extra caffeine can all shift your mood and energy.
Instead of strict rules, focus on a gentle rhythm.
Get sunlight each morning.
Hydrate between gatherings.
Move your body in ways that feel good.
Prioritize sleep whenever possible.
Think of rhythm as nervous system hygiene; small ways to signal to your body that it is allowed to rest and recover, even when it’s busy.
9. Let Money Mirror Your Values, Not Your Stress
Financial stress can quietly erode holiday joy. The pressure to buy, decorate, or give beyond your means can come from comparison.
Ask yourself: What do I want this season to feel like? Then spend in alignment with that.
Maybe that means smaller gifts and more shared meals. Maybe it’s homemade items or acts of service.
Gifts rooted in meaning, not money, are the ones that linger.
10. Ask For Help Before You Hit The Wall
Many of us wait until we’re burned out to reach for help. But emotional overwhelm isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a signal that your system has been doing too much for too long.
Support can look like therapy, a support group, or simply being honest with a trusted friend.
Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is admit that you can’t hold it all alone anymore.
You don’t have to. ❤️
Final Thoughts
Even though this might go against the grain of society, I want you to remember that as the year slows down, so can you.
You don’t have to earn your rest by running yourself into the ground.
You’re allowed to have a slower season, one that values peace over performance.
Caring for your mental health during the holidays isn’t selfish; it’s sacred and vitally important.
Because when you tend to your body and mind, you make room for a kind of calm that doesn’t depend on everything going right, it comes from feeling safe right where you are.
🌱 If you’re ready to create that kind of safety in your own life, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself in a deeper way.
Visit Life By Design Therapy™ to learn more about somatic and holistic therapy for nervous system regulation and stress recovery.
This Week's Affirmations
My worth isn’t measured by how much I give or do.
I release the need for perfection and return to what’s real.
My body deserves the same gentleness I offer to others.
It’s okay to move slower than the world around me.
I am allowed to create new traditions that fit who I am now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to prioritize your mental health, check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
The End of Burnout: Why Work Drains Us and How to Build Better Lives by Jonathan Malesic
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Manage Stress and Prevent Burnout in the Workplace
By Melody Wright, LMFT
It started on a Wednesday.
I was sitting at my desk, halfway through a meeting, when I realized I hadn’t stopped all morning.
My inbox was overflowing, my shoulders ached, and my brain was locked on one thought: “Just get through the day.”
Sound familiar?
Workplace stress has become so normalized that many of us don’t notice how much it’s draining our energy and dysregulating our nervous system, until we’re completely depleted.
While many of us desire to be okay and live with a sense of purpose and peace, it’s hard to regulate and find those moments in the midst of hustle culture.
If this is resonating with you, I want to remind you that you cannot continue to push through and find that sense of peace.
Regulating comes from slowing down, creating space for rest, and allowing your body to return to balance.
The good news? You can learn to manage stress and prevent burnout from work.
If you’ve been struggling to manage stress during the work day, I have come up with 7 ways (grounded in psychology, holistic health, and my own lived experience) to support nervous system recovery and help you restore balance at work.
7 Ways To Manage Stress and Prevent Burnout at Work
1. Start your day with intention, not reaction
Before the day begins to pull you in a dozen directions, take a few minutes to decide how you want to move through it.
What kind of energy do you want to bring into your meetings, your emails, your interactions?
What words describe how you want to feel?
🌻Calm
🌻Present
🌻Grounded
🌻Open
🌻Focused
Starting your day with intention means consciously choosing how you want to show up, rather than reacting to whatever comes first.
That might involve:
Reviewing your schedule the night before
Prioritizing what matters most, or
Setting a gentle theme for the day (ex: “steady,” “patient,” or “clear.”)
When you orient your day around intention, you teach your nervous system what safety feels like before the chaos begins.
By starting your day with intention and direction, you’ll notice that your focus sharpens and your communication will feel smoother, helping your entire day flow more naturally.
2. Take mini-breaks to reset your nervous system
We often think rest requires a long pause, but your body can begin to reset in less than two minutes.
Try standing up, walking around the office, taking a quick stretch, or taking three slow breaths between meetings.
These short rests signal to your nervous system that the last task is complete and it’s safe to shift gears.
When you add in short moments of recovery throughout the day, you prevent stress from stacking up and give your body a chance to restore energy as you go.
“Sustaining your well-being at work isn’t about avoiding stress altogether; it’s about learning to recover in real time so you can stay steady and clear-headed through the day’s demands.”
3. Notice the stories your mind tells you
When something stressful happens, like a missed deadline, a hard conversation, or unexpected feedback, your body reacts first. You may notice your heart rate increase, your chest might tighten, and your brain might start creating a story to make sense of it.
Those thoughts might sound like:
💔 “I can’t handle this.”
💔 “I always mess up.”
💔 “They must be disappointed in me.”
These aren’t just random negative thoughts; they’re signs that your nervous system is activated and your brain is trying to protect you from perceived danger, including fear of failure, rejection, or perfectionism.
When you slow down and notice those stories with curiosity instead of judgment, you interrupt the thoughts that lead to stress, overwhelm, and burnout.
Try gently reframing the thought with compassion by saying:
“This is stressful, but I’m capable of working through it.”
“I made a mistake, but I can repair it.”
Meeting your thoughts this way helps your body feel supported instead of threatened.
You’ll find it’s easier to stay composed in difficult moments and to keep your day moving without carrying the emotional weight of every challenge that comes up in the workday.
4. Regulate your body, not just your calendar
No amount of color-coded scheduling can fix a dysregulated nervous system. Before diving into the next task or meeting, take a moment to return to your body.
Notice your posture, unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, and take one deep breath.
Pay attention to the signals your body gives you, when your chest tightens or your breath shortens, pause and reconnect:
Press your feet into the ground
Exhale longer than you inhale
Look around the room and name what you see
These techniques are called grounding tools. They help your nervous system register safety, allowing focus, creativity, and clarity to return.
When your body feels steady, you’re able to think clearly, communicate effectively, and move through the workday with more ease.
If you would like more grounding tools for the office, check out our free download, 20 Calming Techniques You Can Do at Your Desk.
5. Protect your energy through clear boundaries
For many people, boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’ve spent years equating being dependable with saying “yes.”
You might worry that setting limits will disappoint others, create conflict, or make you seem less committed. Those feelings are valid. Boundaries can stir up a lot of vulnerability, especially in work cultures that reward constant availability.
But boundaries aren’t about pulling away; they’re about protecting your capacity, the energy that lets you show up fully and sustainably.
When you say “no” to what drains you, you’re saying “yes” to focus, presence, and longevity in the work you care about.
Start small. End your workday on time, pause before taking on a new task, or take your lunch break without multitasking.
“Each time you honor your limits, you signal safety to your nervous system, and you’ll notice how much clearer and more balanced you feel during your workday.”
If you would like to learn more about boundaries, check out our blog, Mindful Limits: The Connection Between Boundaries and Self-Compassion.
6. Reconnect with your purpose
There will be seasons when work feels more like survival than purpose; that’s just the ebbs and flows of life. But when your nervous system is in constant go-mode, it might be harder to connect to what matters, especially the moments when everything starts to feel like just another task to get through.
You might catch yourself thinking, “What’s the point?” or drifting through the day on autopilot.
It’s okay if you don’t feel inspired every day.
Sometimes reconnecting with purpose begins with noticing the smallest things that matter.
Maybe it’s the way your work supports your family.
Maybe it’s helping a client feel seen, finding a creative solution to a problem, or being part of a team that makes someone’s day easier.
Or maybe it’s the quiet pride of doing something well, even when no one’s watching.
Purpose doesn’t remove stress, but it gives your mind and body something to anchor to when things feel heavy.
When you reconnect to why you’re doing what you do, even in small ways, you bring meaning back into your workday and remind your nervous system that effort and purpose can coexist.
7. Lead with self-compassion
Managing stress isn’t built by being hard on yourself; it’s built by showing yourself compassion.
When you make a mistake, fall behind, or feel overwhelmed, notice how you speak to yourself.
Would you say those same words to a colleague or a friend?
I want you to try offering yourself the same understanding.
Self-compassion keeps your nervous system calm, which helps your brain recover, refocus, and stay adaptable.
Remember, when you treat yourself with kindness instead of criticism, your entire workday shifts. You’ll handle challenges with patience and end the day feeling grounded rather than drained.
Final Thoughts/Reflections
Work will always bring deadlines, challenges, and unpredictable moments, but the way you meet them determines how your body and mind experience the day.
Remember, managing stress and preventing burnout isn’t about doing more or toughing it out.
It’s about slowing down enough to notice what your body needs, creating space for recovery, and honoring your limits so you can sustain what truly matters: your peace, your purpose, and your capacity to show up fully.
Therapy can be a powerful support in this process.
At Life By Design Therapy™, our holistic and somatic therapists help high-achieving professionals and caregivers in California recover from burnout, manage work stress, and restore nervous system balance.
With the help of our holistic and somatic therapists, you don’t have to force yourself to feel okay. With the right support, your nervous system can relearn how to feel safe, calm, and grounded again.
This Week's Affirmations
It’s okay if I don’t feel inspired every day; I can still move through the day with intention.
My worth is not defined by how much I achieve.
I trust my body to tell me when I need to slow down.
My boundaries are acts of care, not rejection.
I can care deeply about my work without losing myself in it.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about building resilience, check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work by Liz Fosslien & Molly West Duffy
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
The End of Burnout: Why Work Drains Us and How to Build Better Lives by Jonathan Malesic
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever noticed your heart racing at random times, or your stomach tightening even when nothing is “wrong”?
Or maybe your thoughts always seem one step ahead of you, rehearsing conversations, preparing for worst-case scenarios, or circling around a worry you just can’t shake.
If so, you might wonder: Is this anxiety, or just stress?
I want you to know that anxiety doesn’t wear just one face, and it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or uncontrollable worry.
Sometimes, it’s subtle, woven into your body, your thoughts, your emotions, in ways that can leave you feeling both restless and worn out at the same time.
Talk therapy can be a helpful way to slow things down. It gives you space to reflect, make sense of your experiences, and put words to the feelings that sometimes feel overwhelming.
Talking things through can bring clarity and can quiet the mental noise when anxiety shows up.
“But anxiety doesn’t always start in your thoughts. More often than not, the very first signs are happening in your body, before your mind even catches on.”
If you’re wondering if you may be struggling with anxiety, keep reading to learn how anxiety can show up in your body, mind, and emotions.
Anxiety in the Body
For many people, anxiety makes its first appearance through physical sensations. The nervous system reacts before the mind even has a chance to make sense of it. Tense shoulders, clenched jaw, or a racing heart, even while sitting still, are common signs your body is on alert.
Sometimes this shows up most clearly at night: you lie down tired and ready for rest, only to feel a knot in your stomach or a tightness in your chest that keeps you awake.
These sensations aren’t random; they’re signals from your body saying, “Something doesn’t feel right,” even if your logical mind knows you are safe.
Clinically, resources like the DSM-5 highlight these body-based symptoms, like muscle tension, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping, as key indicators of anxiety.
“In other words, your body picks up on anxiety long before your thoughts catch up”
🌻Therapist Tip: When you start to notice these patterns, it helps to give your nervous system a way to settle. Press your feet gently into the ground as if you’re rooting into the floor. Inhale for a count of 4, then exhale for 8. Even small shifts in your body can remind you that you’re safe.
Anxiety in the Mind
Anxiety doesn’t just live in the body; it often takes hold of the mind. Because the brain is wired to scan for threats, anxious thoughts can spin in circles by replaying conversations, anticipating the worst, or reminding you of everything you “should” have done differently.
Many people describe feeling pulled out of the present moment.
“ Anxiety can anchor you in the past, stuck on what already happened, or push you into the future, rehearsing every possible outcome. ”
Either way, the here and now feels just out of reach.
Excessive and hard-to-control worry is one of the hallmarks of anxiety. When your thoughts feel louder than your ability to quiet them, it’s a sign your mind is trying to protect you.
The good news is that there are simple ways to interrupt the cycle and remind your brain that it doesn’t have to stay stuck in worry.
🌻Therapist Tip: Cross your arms and give yourself gentle, alternating taps on your upper arms—left, then right. This rhythmic, bilateral input helps the brain settle and can bring balance when your thoughts feel stuck on repeat.
Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety
Did you know anxiety doesn’t just show up as racing thoughts or physical tension? It also weighs heavily on your emotions.
You might feel restless or on edge, like it’s hard to settle into calm. Irritability or frustration may surface more easily, not because you want it to, but because your emotional energy feels stretched thin.
For others, anxiety brings a sense of dread…or the opposite, a kind of numbness where joy and excitement feel just out of reach.
These shifts in mood are part of why anxiety can be so exhausting. When your mind and body are running on overdrive, your emotions follow.
Naming what you’re feeling is the first step toward easing it, and finding ways to release those emotions keeps them from building up inside.
If naming emotions feels hard, I completely understand. It might surprise you, but many of us were never taught how. I share more about recognizing and processing emotions in this blog on learning to connect with your feelings.
🌻Therapist Tip: Set a timer for five minutes, grab a notebook, and write without editing yourself. Start with the phrase, “Right now, I feel…” and let whatever comes spill onto the page. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Giving your emotions a safe outlet may help your body feel a little lighter.
Questions You Might Be Asking Yourself
By now, you may be wondering some of the same questions many people ask when they’re trying to make sense of what they’re feeling:
1.“How do I know if this is really anxiety?”
One of the most confusing parts of anxiety is that it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or obvious fear.
Sometimes it’s the nervous system stuck in a state of hyperarousal, like the gas pedal is pressed down, even when you’re just trying to rest.
Other times, it shows up as anticipatory stress, the sense that something bad is coming, even if nothing is happening at the moment.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by:
Excessive anxiety and worry, occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).
The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.
The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms present more days than not for the past 6 months):
Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)
The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
The disturbance is not attributable to the effects of a substance (like drugs or medication) or another medical condition, and is not better explained by another mental disorder.
Please note: This list comes directly from the DSM-5 and is used by mental health professionals for clinical diagnosis. Reading these criteria can be helpful for self-understanding, but it’s not meant for self-diagnosis. If you recognize yourself in these symptoms, consider reaching out to a mental health provider for support and clarity.
What makes it anxiety is not just the symptoms themselves, but the persistence of them.
Stress usually comes and goes with a situation.
Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers.
It hangs around long enough to interfere with sleep, focus, or your sense of ease in daily life.
And here’s the important part: you don’t need to wait until your anxiety feels unbearable to reach out for support.
It’s not about how “bad” it looks from the outside; it’s about how it feels to you, and whether it’s stealing from your peace of mind.
2.“Why does it show up in my body?”
Anxiety isn’t just one thought; sometimes it can feel like your mind won’t stop racing. But anxiety doesn’t only stay in your mind; it shows up in your body, too, because anxiety involves your nervous system.
Your nervous system can sound the alarm even if you’re in a secure place, which is why you might feel it in your chest, stomach, or muscles just as much as in your mind.
Anxiety often comes from the body misreading cues as threats. For example, a tight deadline at work or a hard conversation with someone you care about might not be life-threatening, but your nervous system can still respond as though you’re in danger.
This is why your heart races, your breath quickens, or your muscles tense up; your body is preparing to protect you.
For many people, past trauma can make this response even stronger.
“When you’ve lived through situations that were overwhelming or unsafe, your nervous system learns to stay on guard. ”
Even years later, small reminders, or sometimes nothing obvious at all, can activate the same fight-or-flight response.
If you would like to learn about trauma and how it affects your well-being, check out our blog, 7 Signs of Unprocessed Trauma.
And when stress builds over long periods of time, your system doesn’t always get the chance to reset. Instead of returning to calm, your body can get stuck in a cycle of hypervigilance. That constant “on edge” state is what so many people recognize as anxiety.
3.“How Can I Calm My Anxiety in the Moment?”
While therapy can help you untangle the deeper roots of anxiety, there are also simple, body-based practices that can bring relief right away.
When your nervous system is activated, your body doesn’t respond well to logic alone. You can’t always “think” your way out of anxiety, but you can show your body that it’s safe. That’s where somatic tools come in.
Here are a few ways to calm your anxiety in the moment:
🌻 Grounding - Bring your attention back to what’s around you right now, instead of getting pulled into worries about the past or future.
🌻 Gentle Movement - Stretching or slow movement helps release the muscle tension your body holds when it’s braced for danger.
🌻 Breathwork - Slowing your breath lowers your heart rate and signals to your brain that it’s okay to settle.
🌻 Soothing Touch - Even placing a hand over your heart or stomach can cue your system toward calm. The warmth and pressure provide a physical reminder of safety.
These practices don’t erase anxiety entirely, but they give you small, accessible ways to interrupt the cycle in real time. And those small moments of relief matter.
They remind your nervous system that it has another option besides staying stuck in survival mode.
Final Reflections
If you see yourself in these words, I want you to know that there is hope.
Nothing about what you’re feeling makes you weak or less than. Anxiety isn’t a flaw in who you are; it’s your body and mind trying, sometimes a little too hard, to keep you safe.
I know it can feel easier sometimes to just keep pushing through, telling yourself you’ll deal with it later. But I want you to know that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Anxiety feels heavy because it is heavy, and it wasn’t meant to be managed alone.
At Life By Design Therapy™, we take a holistic, somatic approach to anxiety. That means we don’t just sit and talk about what you’re going through; we also help you work with your body, so you can start to feel more grounded and safe in your own skin.
“Bit by bit, your system can learn what it feels like to actually exhale again.”
You don’t have to wait until things get worse to reach out. You deserve support now, exactly as you are. 💚
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me; it’s only one part of my experience.
This feeling is temporary; it will pass.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
My body is not the enemy; it’s doing its best to protect me.
My body is allowed to feel what it feels, and I am safe right now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Heal Your Body Image With These body-based tools
By Melody Wright, LMFT
You tug at your clothes, cross your arms, shift your posture.
You find anything to distract others from the parts of yourself you can’t stop criticizing.
And it doesn’t just happen in the mirror. It follows you into photos, into conversations, even into the way you carry yourself through a crowded room.
Even when others don’t notice, your mind zooms in on the details like your hips, which you think are too wide, arms that don’t look toned enough, or skin that never seems smooth enough.
This isn’t just about confidence, it isn’t vanity, and it isn’t you being dramatic.
These patterns often trace back to something deeper.
Maybe it’s things you went through when you were younger, stress that’s built up over time, or a nervous system that reacts by bracing, numbing out, or pulling away.
You didn’t choose to feel this way.
And the way forward isn’t about forcing yourself to feel confident.
It begins with helping your body feel safe again.
Start with Safety, Not Self-Esteem Hacks
A lot of people come into therapy thinking they just need to change the way they think about their body. And while mindset work has its place, it’s not usually where we begin.
Because if your body hasn’t felt like a safe place to live in, no amount of positive thinking is going to change that.
You can say kind things to yourself, but still feel your chest tighten or your stomach drop the moment you try to believe them.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means your body has learned to protect you…through tension, through checking out, through trying to stay small.
This isn’t about forcing your body image to improve.
It’s about slowly helping your body feel safe enough to come back to.
How Somatic Therapy Supports Body Image Healing
In somatic therapy, we don’t just explore what you think about your body; we pay attention to what your body has been holding all along.
Body image struggles often show up in subtle, physical ways. You might not even realize it at first. Maybe it looks like…
a slouched posture from years of trying to disappear
holding your breath as you walk into a room
tension that lives in your stomach, jaw, or chest
avoiding mirrors or photos…not out of vanity, but because being seen feels overwhelming
These aren’t random habits.
They’re protective responses.
Your nervous system may have learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze in order to cope with being judged, sexualized, ignored, or controlled.
And that makes so much sense.
In therapy, we start by slowing things down by gently noticing what’s happening in your body with curiosity, not judgment.
We create space where your body doesn’t have to perform or protect. It can just be.
And from there, we begin to build something new.
✔️ A felt sense of safety.
✔️ A deeper connection with yourself.
✔️ A shift that doesn’t come from forcing, but from finally feeling safe enough to stay.
That’s how body image begins to change, not just in your thoughts, but in your whole system.
Why Your Window of Tolerance Matters
If you’ve ever worked with a somatic therapist, you might’ve heard the term “window of tolerance.”
But if you haven’t, your “window of tolerance” is a way of understanding how much emotional or physical stress your nervous system can handle before it starts to feel overwhelmed or shut down.
When you’re within that window, things feel manageable.
You can stay present, think clearly, and respond rather than react.
But for many people who struggle with body image, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, that window can be much narrower.
If you grew up in a home where your body was constantly judged or controlled, or you were teased, praised for losing weight, ignored, and made to feel like your body wasn’t enough…your nervous system may have learned early on that being in your body wasn’t safe.
So when something triggers body shame, like a photo, a comment, or even just catching your reflection, your system might respond automatically.
🌻Tightening.
🌻Shutting down.
🌻Spiraling into self-criticism.
Not because you’re overreacting, but because your body is trying to protect you from a familiar kind of pain.
In somatic work, we don’t try to push past that.
We work gently, helping your body build more capacity, so you can feel safer within yourself and stay present longer before overwhelm sets in.
That’s what it means to widen your window of tolerance.
And over time, that space creates the conditions for real, lasting change.
Not by forcing yourself to feel differently but by helping your system know that it’s safe to stay.
Somatic Tools to Support Your Body Image Healing
Even if you’re not in therapy right now, there are still small, supportive ways you can begin to reconnect with your body.
The practices below aren’t about pushing through or trying to fix anything.
They’re about creating tiny moments of safety; places where your system can soften, settle, and slowly begin to trust again.
Each one is simple and invites you to feel just a little more at home in your body.
1. Gentle Reconnection
Place your hand over your heart, your belly, or anywhere that feels neutral. Feel the warmth of your own touch. Let your breath move beneath it, slowly and gently.
👉Why it helps: This kind of physical contact offers your nervous system a sense of containment and reassurance, especially if safe, nurturing touch hasn’t always been part of your experience. It’s a quiet way of telling your body that it’s secure.
2. Orienting
Let your eyes move slowly around the space you’re in. Find something that feels calming, like a soft texture, a plant, or the way sunlight falls across the floor. Let yourself settle there for a moment, and notice what shifts in your breath or body.
👉Why it helps: This simple practice helps anchor you in the here and now. When your body image triggers pull you into old patterns or future fears, orienting reminds your system that it’s okay.
3. Pendulation
Bring your awareness to a sensation that feels challenging, maybe tightness in your chest or a lump in your throat. Stay there just for a breath or two. Then shift your attention to something that feels neutral or supportive, like your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath, or the feeling of your back against the chair.
👉Why it helps: This teaches your nervous system that it’s possible to move between discomfort and ease without getting stuck in shutdown. It builds flexibility, which, over time, expands your capacity to stay with yourself.
4. Embodied Movement
Put on music and let your body move in whatever way feels good. No mirrors. No expectations. Just notice what your body wants, whether it’s swaying, stretching, or stillness.
👉 Why it helps: When movement becomes about sensation instead of performance, your body gets to express instead of protect. It’s a powerful way to reconnect with aliveness, joy, and freedom in your body.
5. Boundary Setting for Body Image Triggers
Notice what pulls you out of your body or makes you feel like you’re not enough. It might be certain social media accounts, mirrors in specific lighting, conversations about diets, or even particular environments. Give yourself permission to step back or set limits.
Unfollow, mute, take space, or say “not right now.” You’re not avoiding, you’re protecting your capacity to heal.
👉 Why it helps: Your nervous system can’t heal in a constant state of comparison or threat. Setting boundaries with body image triggers helps create the safety your system needs to reconnect with your body from a place of care, not criticism.
Final Reflections
Healing your relationship with your body isn’t a one-time breakthrough or a quick mindset shift. It’s a slow, lived process that asks you to stay present with yourself in ways you may never have been taught.
It’s about creating safety where there’s been fear, trust where there’s been disconnect, and compassion where there’s been criticism.
You don’t have to love your body to begin healing it. You just need a willingness to turn toward it, with patience, curiosity, and care.
Your body may be holding stories that were never yours to carry. But it’s also capable of holding something new: a sense of ease, belonging, and strength.
And with time, support, and safety, you can come home to yourself again.
This Weeks Affirmations
My worth is not defined by how I look, but by how I exist and feel.
I am allowed to move at the pace of safety.
My body remembers, and my body can also relearn.
Discomfort is not danger. I can breathe and stay connected.
My body is not a problem to solve. It’s a place I can learn to tend to with care.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to heal body image and boost self-esteem, check out these books below.
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
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