Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever noticed your heart racing at random times, or your stomach tightening even when nothing is “wrong”?
Or maybe your thoughts always seem one step ahead of you, rehearsing conversations, preparing for worst-case scenarios, or circling around a worry you just can’t shake.
If so, you might wonder: Is this anxiety, or just stress?
I want you to know that anxiety doesn’t wear just one face, and it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or uncontrollable worry.
Sometimes, it’s subtle, woven into your body, your thoughts, your emotions, in ways that can leave you feeling both restless and worn out at the same time.
Talk therapy can be a helpful way to slow things down. It gives you space to reflect, make sense of your experiences, and put words to the feelings that sometimes feel overwhelming.
Talking things through can bring clarity and can quiet the mental noise when anxiety shows up.
“But anxiety doesn’t always start in your thoughts. More often than not, the very first signs are happening in your body, before your mind even catches on.”
If you’re wondering if you may be struggling with anxiety, keep reading to learn how anxiety can show up in your body, mind, and emotions.
Anxiety in the Body
For many people, anxiety makes its first appearance through physical sensations. The nervous system reacts before the mind even has a chance to make sense of it. Tense shoulders, clenched jaw, or a racing heart, even while sitting still, are common signs your body is on alert.
Sometimes this shows up most clearly at night: you lie down tired and ready for rest, only to feel a knot in your stomach or a tightness in your chest that keeps you awake.
These sensations aren’t random; they’re signals from your body saying, “Something doesn’t feel right,” even if your logical mind knows you are safe.
Clinically, resources like the DSM-5 highlight these body-based symptoms, like muscle tension, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping, as key indicators of anxiety.
“In other words, your body picks up on anxiety long before your thoughts catch up”
🌻Therapist Tip: When you start to notice these patterns, it helps to give your nervous system a way to settle. Press your feet gently into the ground as if you’re rooting into the floor. Inhale for a count of 4, then exhale for 8. Even small shifts in your body can remind you that you’re safe.
Anxiety in the Mind
Anxiety doesn’t just live in the body; it often takes hold of the mind. Because the brain is wired to scan for threats, anxious thoughts can spin in circles by replaying conversations, anticipating the worst, or reminding you of everything you “should” have done differently.
Many people describe feeling pulled out of the present moment.
“ Anxiety can anchor you in the past, stuck on what already happened, or push you into the future, rehearsing every possible outcome. ”
Either way, the here and now feels just out of reach.
Excessive and hard-to-control worry is one of the hallmarks of anxiety. When your thoughts feel louder than your ability to quiet them, it’s a sign your mind is trying to protect you.
The good news is that there are simple ways to interrupt the cycle and remind your brain that it doesn’t have to stay stuck in worry.
🌻Therapist Tip: Cross your arms and give yourself gentle, alternating taps on your upper arms—left, then right. This rhythmic, bilateral input helps the brain settle and can bring balance when your thoughts feel stuck on repeat.
Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety
Did you know anxiety doesn’t just show up as racing thoughts or physical tension? It also weighs heavily on your emotions.
You might feel restless or on edge, like it’s hard to settle into calm. Irritability or frustration may surface more easily, not because you want it to, but because your emotional energy feels stretched thin.
For others, anxiety brings a sense of dread…or the opposite, a kind of numbness where joy and excitement feel just out of reach.
These shifts in mood are part of why anxiety can be so exhausting. When your mind and body are running on overdrive, your emotions follow.
Naming what you’re feeling is the first step toward easing it, and finding ways to release those emotions keeps them from building up inside.
If naming emotions feels hard, I completely understand. It might surprise you, but many of us were never taught how. I share more about recognizing and processing emotions in this blog on learning to connect with your feelings.
🌻Therapist Tip: Set a timer for five minutes, grab a notebook, and write without editing yourself. Start with the phrase, “Right now, I feel…” and let whatever comes spill onto the page. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Giving your emotions a safe outlet may help your body feel a little lighter.
Questions You Might Be Asking Yourself
By now, you may be wondering some of the same questions many people ask when they’re trying to make sense of what they’re feeling:
1.“How do I know if this is really anxiety?”
One of the most confusing parts of anxiety is that it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or obvious fear.
Sometimes it’s the nervous system stuck in a state of hyperarousal, like the gas pedal is pressed down, even when you’re just trying to rest.
Other times, it shows up as anticipatory stress, the sense that something bad is coming, even if nothing is happening at the moment.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by:
Excessive anxiety and worry, occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).
The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.
The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms present more days than not for the past 6 months):
Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)
The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
The disturbance is not attributable to the effects of a substance (like drugs or medication) or another medical condition, and is not better explained by another mental disorder.
Please note: This list comes directly from the DSM-5 and is used by mental health professionals for clinical diagnosis. Reading these criteria can be helpful for self-understanding, but it’s not meant for self-diagnosis. If you recognize yourself in these symptoms, consider reaching out to a mental health provider for support and clarity.
What makes it anxiety is not just the symptoms themselves, but the persistence of them.
Stress usually comes and goes with a situation.
Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers.
It hangs around long enough to interfere with sleep, focus, or your sense of ease in daily life.
And here’s the important part: you don’t need to wait until your anxiety feels unbearable to reach out for support.
It’s not about how “bad” it looks from the outside; it’s about how it feels to you, and whether it’s stealing from your peace of mind.
2.“Why does it show up in my body?”
Anxiety isn’t just one thought; sometimes it can feel like your mind won’t stop racing. But anxiety doesn’t only stay in your mind; it shows up in your body, too, because anxiety involves your nervous system.
Your nervous system can sound the alarm even if you’re in a secure place, which is why you might feel it in your chest, stomach, or muscles just as much as in your mind.
Anxiety often comes from the body misreading cues as threats. For example, a tight deadline at work or a hard conversation with someone you care about might not be life-threatening, but your nervous system can still respond as though you’re in danger.
This is why your heart races, your breath quickens, or your muscles tense up; your body is preparing to protect you.
For many people, past trauma can make this response even stronger.
“When you’ve lived through situations that were overwhelming or unsafe, your nervous system learns to stay on guard. ”
Even years later, small reminders, or sometimes nothing obvious at all, can activate the same fight-or-flight response.
If you would like to learn about trauma and how it affects your well-being, check out our blog, 7 Signs of Unprocessed Trauma.
And when stress builds over long periods of time, your system doesn’t always get the chance to reset. Instead of returning to calm, your body can get stuck in a cycle of hypervigilance. That constant “on edge” state is what so many people recognize as anxiety.
3.“How Can I Calm My Anxiety in the Moment?”
While therapy can help you untangle the deeper roots of anxiety, there are also simple, body-based practices that can bring relief right away.
When your nervous system is activated, your body doesn’t respond well to logic alone. You can’t always “think” your way out of anxiety, but you can show your body that it’s safe. That’s where somatic tools come in.
Here are a few ways to calm your anxiety in the moment:
🌻 Grounding - Bring your attention back to what’s around you right now, instead of getting pulled into worries about the past or future.
🌻 Gentle Movement - Stretching or slow movement helps release the muscle tension your body holds when it’s braced for danger.
🌻 Breathwork - Slowing your breath lowers your heart rate and signals to your brain that it’s okay to settle.
🌻 Soothing Touch - Even placing a hand over your heart or stomach can cue your system toward calm. The warmth and pressure provide a physical reminder of safety.
These practices don’t erase anxiety entirely, but they give you small, accessible ways to interrupt the cycle in real time. And those small moments of relief matter.
They remind your nervous system that it has another option besides staying stuck in survival mode.
Final Reflections
If you see yourself in these words, I want you to know that there is hope.
Nothing about what you’re feeling makes you weak or less than. Anxiety isn’t a flaw in who you are; it’s your body and mind trying, sometimes a little too hard, to keep you safe.
I know it can feel easier sometimes to just keep pushing through, telling yourself you’ll deal with it later. But I want you to know that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Anxiety feels heavy because it is heavy, and it wasn’t meant to be managed alone.
At Life By Design Therapy™, we take a holistic, somatic approach to anxiety. That means we don’t just sit and talk about what you’re going through; we also help you work with your body, so you can start to feel more grounded and safe in your own skin.
“Bit by bit, your system can learn what it feels like to actually exhale again.”
You don’t have to wait until things get worse to reach out. You deserve support now, exactly as you are. 💚
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me; it’s only one part of my experience.
This feeling is temporary; it will pass.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
My body is not the enemy; it’s doing its best to protect me.
My body is allowed to feel what it feels, and I am safe right now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Heal Your Body Image With These body-based tools
By Melody Wright, LMFT
You tug at your clothes, cross your arms, shift your posture.
You find anything to distract others from the parts of yourself you can’t stop criticizing.
And it doesn’t just happen in the mirror. It follows you into photos, into conversations, even into the way you carry yourself through a crowded room.
Even when others don’t notice, your mind zooms in on the details like your hips, which you think are too wide, arms that don’t look toned enough, or skin that never seems smooth enough.
This isn’t just about confidence, it isn’t vanity, and it isn’t you being dramatic.
These patterns often trace back to something deeper.
Maybe it’s things you went through when you were younger, stress that’s built up over time, or a nervous system that reacts by bracing, numbing out, or pulling away.
You didn’t choose to feel this way.
And the way forward isn’t about forcing yourself to feel confident.
It begins with helping your body feel safe again.
Start with Safety, Not Self-Esteem Hacks
A lot of people come into therapy thinking they just need to change the way they think about their body. And while mindset work has its place, it’s not usually where we begin.
Because if your body hasn’t felt like a safe place to live in, no amount of positive thinking is going to change that.
You can say kind things to yourself, but still feel your chest tighten or your stomach drop the moment you try to believe them.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means your body has learned to protect you…through tension, through checking out, through trying to stay small.
This isn’t about forcing your body image to improve.
It’s about slowly helping your body feel safe enough to come back to.
How Somatic Therapy Supports Body Image Healing
In somatic therapy, we don’t just explore what you think about your body; we pay attention to what your body has been holding all along.
Body image struggles often show up in subtle, physical ways. You might not even realize it at first. Maybe it looks like…
a slouched posture from years of trying to disappear
holding your breath as you walk into a room
tension that lives in your stomach, jaw, or chest
avoiding mirrors or photos…not out of vanity, but because being seen feels overwhelming
These aren’t random habits.
They’re protective responses.
Your nervous system may have learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze in order to cope with being judged, sexualized, ignored, or controlled.
And that makes so much sense.
In therapy, we start by slowing things down by gently noticing what’s happening in your body with curiosity, not judgment.
We create space where your body doesn’t have to perform or protect. It can just be.
And from there, we begin to build something new.
✔️ A felt sense of safety.
✔️ A deeper connection with yourself.
✔️ A shift that doesn’t come from forcing, but from finally feeling safe enough to stay.
That’s how body image begins to change, not just in your thoughts, but in your whole system.
Why Your Window of Tolerance Matters
If you’ve ever worked with a somatic therapist, you might’ve heard the term “window of tolerance.”
But if you haven’t, your “window of tolerance” is a way of understanding how much emotional or physical stress your nervous system can handle before it starts to feel overwhelmed or shut down.
When you’re within that window, things feel manageable.
You can stay present, think clearly, and respond rather than react.
But for many people who struggle with body image, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, that window can be much narrower.
If you grew up in a home where your body was constantly judged or controlled, or you were teased, praised for losing weight, ignored, and made to feel like your body wasn’t enough…your nervous system may have learned early on that being in your body wasn’t safe.
So when something triggers body shame, like a photo, a comment, or even just catching your reflection, your system might respond automatically.
🌻Tightening.
🌻Shutting down.
🌻Spiraling into self-criticism.
Not because you’re overreacting, but because your body is trying to protect you from a familiar kind of pain.
In somatic work, we don’t try to push past that.
We work gently, helping your body build more capacity, so you can feel safer within yourself and stay present longer before overwhelm sets in.
That’s what it means to widen your window of tolerance.
And over time, that space creates the conditions for real, lasting change.
Not by forcing yourself to feel differently but by helping your system know that it’s safe to stay.
Somatic Tools to Support Your Body Image Healing
Even if you’re not in therapy right now, there are still small, supportive ways you can begin to reconnect with your body.
The practices below aren’t about pushing through or trying to fix anything.
They’re about creating tiny moments of safety; places where your system can soften, settle, and slowly begin to trust again.
Each one is simple and invites you to feel just a little more at home in your body.
1. Gentle Reconnection
Place your hand over your heart, your belly, or anywhere that feels neutral. Feel the warmth of your own touch. Let your breath move beneath it, slowly and gently.
👉Why it helps: This kind of physical contact offers your nervous system a sense of containment and reassurance, especially if safe, nurturing touch hasn’t always been part of your experience. It’s a quiet way of telling your body that it’s secure.
2. Orienting
Let your eyes move slowly around the space you’re in. Find something that feels calming, like a soft texture, a plant, or the way sunlight falls across the floor. Let yourself settle there for a moment, and notice what shifts in your breath or body.
👉Why it helps: This simple practice helps anchor you in the here and now. When your body image triggers pull you into old patterns or future fears, orienting reminds your system that it’s okay.
3. Pendulation
Bring your awareness to a sensation that feels challenging, maybe tightness in your chest or a lump in your throat. Stay there just for a breath or two. Then shift your attention to something that feels neutral or supportive, like your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath, or the feeling of your back against the chair.
👉Why it helps: This teaches your nervous system that it’s possible to move between discomfort and ease without getting stuck in shutdown. It builds flexibility, which, over time, expands your capacity to stay with yourself.
4. Embodied Movement
Put on music and let your body move in whatever way feels good. No mirrors. No expectations. Just notice what your body wants, whether it’s swaying, stretching, or stillness.
👉 Why it helps: When movement becomes about sensation instead of performance, your body gets to express instead of protect. It’s a powerful way to reconnect with aliveness, joy, and freedom in your body.
5. Boundary Setting for Body Image Triggers
Notice what pulls you out of your body or makes you feel like you’re not enough. It might be certain social media accounts, mirrors in specific lighting, conversations about diets, or even particular environments. Give yourself permission to step back or set limits.
Unfollow, mute, take space, or say “not right now.” You’re not avoiding, you’re protecting your capacity to heal.
👉 Why it helps: Your nervous system can’t heal in a constant state of comparison or threat. Setting boundaries with body image triggers helps create the safety your system needs to reconnect with your body from a place of care, not criticism.
Final Reflections
Healing your relationship with your body isn’t a one-time breakthrough or a quick mindset shift. It’s a slow, lived process that asks you to stay present with yourself in ways you may never have been taught.
It’s about creating safety where there’s been fear, trust where there’s been disconnect, and compassion where there’s been criticism.
You don’t have to love your body to begin healing it. You just need a willingness to turn toward it, with patience, curiosity, and care.
Your body may be holding stories that were never yours to carry. But it’s also capable of holding something new: a sense of ease, belonging, and strength.
And with time, support, and safety, you can come home to yourself again.
This Weeks Affirmations
My worth is not defined by how I look, but by how I exist and feel.
I am allowed to move at the pace of safety.
My body remembers, and my body can also relearn.
Discomfort is not danger. I can breathe and stay connected.
My body is not a problem to solve. It’s a place I can learn to tend to with care.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to heal body image and boost self-esteem, check out these books below.
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.