Heal Your Body Image With These body-based tools
By Melody Wright, LMFT
You tug at your clothes, cross your arms, shift your posture.
You find anything to distract others from the parts of yourself you can’t stop criticizing.
And it doesn’t just happen in the mirror. It follows you into photos, into conversations, even into the way you carry yourself through a crowded room.
Even when others don’t notice, your mind zooms in on the details like your hips, which you think are too wide, arms that don’t look toned enough, or skin that never seems smooth enough.
This isn’t just about confidence, it isn’t vanity, and it isn’t you being dramatic.
These patterns often trace back to something deeper.
Maybe it’s things you went through when you were younger, stress that’s built up over time, or a nervous system that reacts by bracing, numbing out, or pulling away.
You didn’t choose to feel this way.
And the way forward isn’t about forcing yourself to feel confident.
It begins with helping your body feel safe again.
Start with Safety, Not Self-Esteem Hacks
A lot of people come into therapy thinking they just need to change the way they think about their body. And while mindset work has its place, it’s not usually where we begin.
Because if your body hasn’t felt like a safe place to live in, no amount of positive thinking is going to change that.
You can say kind things to yourself, but still feel your chest tighten or your stomach drop the moment you try to believe them.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means your body has learned to protect you…through tension, through checking out, through trying to stay small.
This isn’t about forcing your body image to improve.
It’s about slowly helping your body feel safe enough to come back to.
How Somatic Therapy Supports Body Image Healing
In somatic therapy, we don’t just explore what you think about your body; we pay attention to what your body has been holding all along.
Body image struggles often show up in subtle, physical ways. You might not even realize it at first. Maybe it looks like…
a slouched posture from years of trying to disappear
holding your breath as you walk into a room
tension that lives in your stomach, jaw, or chest
avoiding mirrors or photos…not out of vanity, but because being seen feels overwhelming
These aren’t random habits.
They’re protective responses.
Your nervous system may have learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze in order to cope with being judged, sexualized, ignored, or controlled.
And that makes so much sense.
In therapy, we start by slowing things down by gently noticing what’s happening in your body with curiosity, not judgment.
We create space where your body doesn’t have to perform or protect. It can just be.
And from there, we begin to build something new.
✔️ A felt sense of safety.
✔️ A deeper connection with yourself.
✔️ A shift that doesn’t come from forcing, but from finally feeling safe enough to stay.
That’s how body image begins to change, not just in your thoughts, but in your whole system.
Why Your Window of Tolerance Matters
If you’ve ever worked with a somatic therapist, you might’ve heard the term “window of tolerance.”
But if you haven’t, your “window of tolerance” is a way of understanding how much emotional or physical stress your nervous system can handle before it starts to feel overwhelmed or shut down.
When you’re within that window, things feel manageable.
You can stay present, think clearly, and respond rather than react.
But for many people who struggle with body image, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, that window can be much narrower.
If you grew up in a home where your body was constantly judged or controlled, or you were teased, praised for losing weight, ignored, and made to feel like your body wasn’t enough…your nervous system may have learned early on that being in your body wasn’t safe.
So when something triggers body shame, like a photo, a comment, or even just catching your reflection, your system might respond automatically.
🌻Tightening.
🌻Shutting down.
🌻Spiraling into self-criticism.
Not because you’re overreacting, but because your body is trying to protect you from a familiar kind of pain.
In somatic work, we don’t try to push past that.
We work gently, helping your body build more capacity, so you can feel safer within yourself and stay present longer before overwhelm sets in.
That’s what it means to widen your window of tolerance.
And over time, that space creates the conditions for real, lasting change.
Not by forcing yourself to feel differently but by helping your system know that it’s safe to stay.
Somatic Tools to Support Your Body Image Healing
Even if you’re not in therapy right now, there are still small, supportive ways you can begin to reconnect with your body.
The practices below aren’t about pushing through or trying to fix anything.
They’re about creating tiny moments of safety; places where your system can soften, settle, and slowly begin to trust again.
Each one is simple and invites you to feel just a little more at home in your body.
1. Gentle Reconnection
Place your hand over your heart, your belly, or anywhere that feels neutral. Feel the warmth of your own touch. Let your breath move beneath it, slowly and gently.
👉Why it helps: This kind of physical contact offers your nervous system a sense of containment and reassurance, especially if safe, nurturing touch hasn’t always been part of your experience. It’s a quiet way of telling your body that it’s secure.
2. Orienting
Let your eyes move slowly around the space you’re in. Find something that feels calming, like a soft texture, a plant, or the way sunlight falls across the floor. Let yourself settle there for a moment, and notice what shifts in your breath or body.
👉Why it helps: This simple practice helps anchor you in the here and now. When your body image triggers pull you into old patterns or future fears, orienting reminds your system that it’s okay.
3. Pendulation
Bring your awareness to a sensation that feels challenging, maybe tightness in your chest or a lump in your throat. Stay there just for a breath or two. Then shift your attention to something that feels neutral or supportive, like your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath, or the feeling of your back against the chair.
👉Why it helps: This teaches your nervous system that it’s possible to move between discomfort and ease without getting stuck in shutdown. It builds flexibility, which, over time, expands your capacity to stay with yourself.
4. Embodied Movement
Put on music and let your body move in whatever way feels good. No mirrors. No expectations. Just notice what your body wants, whether it’s swaying, stretching, or stillness.
👉 Why it helps: When movement becomes about sensation instead of performance, your body gets to express instead of protect. It’s a powerful way to reconnect with aliveness, joy, and freedom in your body.
5. Boundary Setting for Body Image Triggers
Notice what pulls you out of your body or makes you feel like you’re not enough. It might be certain social media accounts, mirrors in specific lighting, conversations about diets, or even particular environments. Give yourself permission to step back or set limits.
Unfollow, mute, take space, or say “not right now.” You’re not avoiding, you’re protecting your capacity to heal.
👉 Why it helps: Your nervous system can’t heal in a constant state of comparison or threat. Setting boundaries with body image triggers helps create the safety your system needs to reconnect with your body from a place of care, not criticism.
Final Reflections
Healing your relationship with your body isn’t a one-time breakthrough or a quick mindset shift. It’s a slow, lived process that asks you to stay present with yourself in ways you may never have been taught.
It’s about creating safety where there’s been fear, trust where there’s been disconnect, and compassion where there’s been criticism.
You don’t have to love your body to begin healing it. You just need a willingness to turn toward it, with patience, curiosity, and care.
Your body may be holding stories that were never yours to carry. But it’s also capable of holding something new: a sense of ease, belonging, and strength.
And with time, support, and safety, you can come home to yourself again.
This Weeks Affirmations
My worth is not defined by how I look, but by how I exist and feel.
I am allowed to move at the pace of safety.
My body remembers, and my body can also relearn.
Discomfort is not danger. I can breathe and stay connected.
My body is not a problem to solve. It’s a place I can learn to tend to with care.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to heal body image and boost self-esteem, check out these books below.
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Holistic Tips for Healing Your Depression
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There’s a certain kind of heaviness that’s hard to explain.
It’s not always sadness.
It’s not always tears.
Sometimes, it’s just a sense of moving through your day with the volume turned down.
A mind full of fog and a body that feels like it’s made of stone.
As a therapist, I’ve worked with many people who’ve carried this invisible weight, often for years.
They don’t always name it as depression at first.
It might come out as “burnout,” or “being off,” or “not feeling like myself lately.”
But beneath the surface, their bodies are telling a different story.
“What I’ve come to understand through somatic therapy is that depression isn’t just a state of mind; it’s a nervous system response.”
It’s not always dramatic or obvious, but rather something that becomes a part of your day-to-day life and settles into your body.
In this blog, I want to offer another lens. A more embodied one.
A way to begin making sense of the quiet weight you might be carrying, and how your body might be asking for support.
Understanding Depression as a Whole-Body Experience
Culturally, we tend to think of depression as being very emotional.
We expect sadness, crying, and withdrawal.
And sometimes, that’s part of it.
But many of the clients I work with don’t necessarily feel sad; they feel detached.
What we often miss is that depression doesn’t always feel like pain.
Sometimes it feels like distance and disconnection.
Almost like a slow drift away from the things that once felt meaningful, until everything feels muted and out of reach.
Depression can stem from a nervous system that has been in survival mode for so long, it no longer has the energy to mobilize.
It shuts down, in a sense, and it’s not because you don’t care, but it’s because you’re drained.
This is the kind of depression I see most often.
And it’s the kind that rarely gets talked about.
What is the Body-Based Side of Depression?
When I look at depression through a body-based lens, I don’t just see a cluster of symptoms; I see a system trying to protect itself.
A body that has been overwhelmed, overextended, and over-adapted for so long that it finally had to power down.
This isn’t weakness. It’s protection.
The nervous system is always working on your behalf. When it senses that the environment isn’t safe enough for connection or expression, it enters a state of conservation.
You stop caring.
You stop reaching out.
You stop feeling.
Not because you stopped trying, but because your body did what it had to in order to keep you safe.
When we stop framing this as a personal failure and start viewing it as a physiological response, a new kind of compassion becomes possible.
How Depression Can Hide in Everyday Life
Depression often goes unnoticed, especially if you’re high-functioning, organized, or used to looking “put together” on the outside.
The symptoms blend in and are rationalized. And often, they become part of your identity.
If you grew up in a place where it wasn’t safe to share how you felt, you might have learned to bottle everything up. That kind of emotional storage can quietly turn into depression.
If you would like to learn more about how to recognize and process your emotions, check out our blog, How to Recognize & Process Emotions When You Were Never Taught How.
You may even find yourself saying things like:
“I’m just not a very emotional person.”
“I’ve always needed a lot of sleep.”
“I’m not the type to get excited about things.”
As a therapist, when I slow down with someone and we begin to explore their experience through the body and not just their thoughts, a deeper layer often emerges.
One that says: “I don’t remember the last time I felt alive.”
“I miss myself, but I don’t know how to get back.”
That’s where the work begins.
What Are The Signs of Depression?
Here are a few ways I’ve seen depression show up in clients’ lives, ways that are often overlooked or misread, especially when the body is stuck in a state of freeze:
1️⃣ Flatness in the face or voice
You may feel like it takes effort to express emotion. This is your body’s way of conserving energy, even in your facial muscles.
2️⃣ Slowness in movement or speech
Everything feels slowed down. Not because you’re tired, but because your system has hit “low power mode.”
3️⃣ Digestive issues or lack of appetite
Your body deprioritizes digestion when in a depressed state. You might forget to eat or feel full quickly. Eating becomes a task instead of a pleasure.
4️⃣ Cognitive fog or blankness
Not just forgetfulness, but moments where it feels like your brain goes offline. You stare at a wall. You may find yourself rereading the same sentence or losing time.
5️⃣ Difficulty connecting with others
It’s not that you don’t care. You might deeply want connection with others. But you may feel like there’s a wall or an invisible barrier that keeps you from reaching out or feeling close.
6️⃣ Emotional detachment
Not feeling moved by things that used to matter, like music, nature, intimacy, and spirituality. You notice the absence, but can’t bring it back.
7️⃣ Persistent internal pressure to be “better”
This one is subtle but can feel overwhelming. You might constantly shame yourself for not feeling more, doing more, trying harder, even as you struggle to get through the day.
Each of these is a signal from your system. Not a flaw to fix, but an invitation to listen.
Body-Based Tips For Managing Depression
When you're living with depression, even the idea of doing something to feel better can feel overwhelming. That’s why I don’t offer quick fixes or high-effort routines.
Instead, consider starting with small, body-informed practices that meet you where you are.
These are tools I’ve used with clients (and sometimes in my own life) to begin shifting out of the shutdown state that depression often brings. These tips are not about forcing change but rather about slowly reawakening connection, energy, and aliveness in the body.
Here are a few to try that make a difference:
1️⃣ Start by Noticing What’s Here
Instead of pushing through or distracting yourself, try gently checking in with your body.
What are you feeling in your chest, stomach, or jaw? Is there tightness, pressure, or numbness?
Even naming sensations like “I feel heavy” or “My chest feels tight” helps your nervous system begin to process rather than store what you're experiencing.
🌀 This isn’t about fixing. It’s about noticing, without judgment.
2️⃣ Create Rhythms, Not Routines
Depression often disrupts your ability to stick to structured plans, and trying to follow strict routines can trigger shame when you “fall behind.”
Instead, try creating rhythms: small, repeatable actions that support your body:
Opening a window first thing in the morning
Drinking water before coffee
Lighting a candle at night to signal rest
🌀 Rhythm regulates. Your nervous system responds to patterns more than pressure.
If you would like to learn more about how to build a gentle rhythm, check out our blog, How to Build a Daily Routine to Support Overwhelm.
3️⃣ Include Movement…but Make It Gentle
You don’t need a workout. You need movement that signals safety to your body. Try:
Rolling your shoulders slowly
Rocking side to side while seated
Dance to your favorite song, music can create different emotions for us
Even just stretching or swaying to soft music helps interrupt the freeze response that often underlies depression.
🌀 When the body starts moving, emotion and energy often follow.
4️⃣ Connect Through Sensation
Depression can flatten sensations. One way to slowly reconnect is by inviting the senses back online:
Run your hands under warm or cool water
Press your feet firmly into the ground and notice the texture under them
Hold something textured, weighted, or comforting (a stone, a cozy blanket, a warm mug)
🌀 Sensation brings you back to the present moment.
5️⃣ Give Yourself “Permission to Pause”
Instead of pushing through the fog, what happens if you actually pause and rest, without needing to earn it?
Sometimes, setting a timer for 10 minutes of intentional stillness (not scrolling, not zoning out, just being) can help your system reset.
🌀 Depression often demands rest. Giving it willingly, rather than resisting it, can feel radically different.
6️⃣ Let in a Little Bit of Support
Connection can feel like too much, but total isolation rarely helps. Try starting with low-effort ways to let support in:
Listening to a voice or song that soothes you
Sitting quietly with someone, even without talking
Reaching out to a therapist for support
🌀 Support doesn’t have to be deep to be meaningful; it just has to feel safe enough.
What is the Best Therapy for Depression?
Talk therapy can be powerful. It gives language to your experience, insight into your patterns, and support from someone who cares.
But if you’ve tried therapy before and felt like it didn’t touch the part of you that’s hurting, it’s not because you failed. It may be because the work never included your body.
“Depression isn’t only in your mind or your emotions; it can live in your body, too, but that’s something that isn’t talked about enough.”
Depression can impact how you breathe, how you sit, how you digest, and how you respond to your environment.
So it makes sense that healing also needs to include your body.
We may be biased, but this is why Somatic and Holistic Therapy is the best type of therapy for depression.
Somatic and holistic therapy offers something different:
🌱 Gentle practices to reconnect you with sensation
🌱 Nervous system education to help you understand your experience
🌱 Movement, breath, and grounding in session to support regulation
🌱 Permission to go slow and to go with your body, not against it
We’re not trying to “snap you out of it.” We’re working to bring you back into a relationship with yourself, your body, and your life.
Final THOUGHTS
If you’ve been carrying this quiet weight, I want you to know: you’re not broken.
Your symptoms are not signs of failure; they’re signs of your body’s resilience.
They’re messages from a system that has done everything it can to protect you.
Depression is not just something to treat. It’s something to tend to with presence, with curiosity, and with care.
Somatic therapy is one way of doing that.
Not by fixing you, but by helping you come home to yourself again.
If that feels like something you’re ready for, we’d be honored to support you at Life By Design Therapy™.
This Weeks Affirmations
I can begin again as many times as I need to.
My worth is not measured by my energy, output, or mood.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
Feeling disconnected doesn’t mean I’m alone. Connection is still possible.
I am allowed to rest, even if I don’t feel like I’ve earned it.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
7 Hidden Signs of Unprocessed Trauma
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t go away with more sleep.
A kind of tension that lives in your shoulders, your jaw, or your gut, without any clear reason.
Maybe you’ve tried deep breathing, journaling, even therapy, but something still feels stuck.
Unspoken.
Unresolved.
In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that trauma doesn’t always arrive with obvious signs.
Sometimes, it’s quiet.
It hides in habits we’ve normalized, like always being on edge, needing to stay busy, or finding it hard to feel anything, or finding it hard to trust others.
Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you; it’s also about what never got completed.
What your body had to hold when things felt too fast, too much, or not enough.
And when that process gets interrupted, the body stores the unfinished story, not necessarily in words, but in sensations, patterns, and protective responses.
What makes this tricky is that the signs of unprocessed trauma don’t always look like trauma.
They often get brushed off as personality quirks, burnout, anxiety, or being “too sensitive.”
But when we slow down and listen through a somatic lens, we start to understand: these symptoms are the body’s way of remembering.
Somatic or body-based work invites us to tune into the body’s cues, its sensations, movements, and patterns, as a pathway to healing.
In this post, we’ll explore the lesser-known ways trauma can show up and what your body might be trying to tell you.
What Is Unprocessed Trauma?
When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of big, obvious events like car accidents, violence, and major losses.
But trauma isn’t defined by the event itself. It’s defined by how the experience impacted your nervous system.
“Trauma happens when something overwhelms your capacity to cope, and your body doesn’t get the chance to fully process or release it. ”
It could be a single moment.
It could be something that happened over time.
It could even be something that didn’t happen, like not feeling protected, comforted, or emotionally safe when you needed it most.
When trauma goes unprocessed, it doesn’t just fade away.
It gets stored in the body, in muscle tension, in breath patterns, in how quickly you go into fight, flight, or freeze.
You might not even remember the original event, but your nervous system remembers how it felt.
From a somatic perspective, unprocessed trauma is like a loop that was never completed.
The body mobilized for action or safety, but never got the signal that the threat was over. So it stays ready. It stays alert. Or it shuts down altogether.
And the symptoms of that?
They can show up in ways that may seem unrelated, like chronic fatigue, trouble concentrating, emotional numbness, and anxiety that doesn’t respond to logic.
That’s why so many people live with trauma symptoms for years without realizing what they’re actually experiencing.
“Understanding trauma through the body, not just the mind, helps us bring compassion and clarity to what might otherwise feel confusing or shameful. ”
It’s not about what’s wrong with you.
It’s about what your body did to keep you safe… and what it’s still doing now.
The Trauma Cycle: How Unprocessed Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body
One of the most helpful shifts I see in my work is when someone realizes that trauma isn’t just about the moment something painful happened.
It’s about what happened afterward, or more specifically, what didn’t get to happen.
Our bodies are wired to respond to a threat.
When something overwhelming occurs, the nervous system kicks into gear: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
This is your body trying to protect you, and it’s incredibly intelligent.
But what many people don’t realize is that those responses are meant to be temporary.
They’re actually supposed to resolve.
You move through the threat, return to safety, and the body completes the cycle.
But trauma interrupts that.
If your body didn’t get the chance to run, fight, cry, be held, or feel safe again, and the response was interrupted, that survival energy can stay stuck in your system.
Which means the loop never closed, so your body keeps bracing for something that already happened.
So, in short, the trauma cycle is:
🔄 A threat or overwhelming experience
🔄 Activation in the nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)
🔄 No resolution or return to safety
🔄 Residual survival energy stays trapped in the body
🔄 Symptoms develop over time…physical, emotional, or relational
This is why trauma can live on for years, even when your life looks “fine” on the outside. You may not remember the event clearly, or even recognize it as trauma, but your body still responds as if it’s happening now.
Somatic therapy works by helping you gently complete that cycle.
Not by re-living the trauma, but by giving your body new experiences of safety, movement, and connection, ones that were missing before.
When that happens, something shifts. The body starts to release what it’s been holding. And you begin to feel more present, more grounded, and more you again.
Why Trauma Symptoms Often Go Unnoticed
One of the hardest parts about unprocessed trauma is how easily it hides in plain sight.
Because trauma isn’t always tied to one big moment, many people don’t realize they’ve experienced it.
Especially when the trauma was chronic, subtle, or relational.
For example, growing up in a home where you had to stay small to stay safe, or constantly being the one who held everything together.
When those patterns start early or go on for a long time, they start to feel normal.
Maybe you’ve become really good at adapting, and you learn to be hyper-aware of others’ moods.
Or maybe you keep yourself busy so you don’t have to feel what’s underneath, you shut down in conflict, or feel like rest is only okay if you’ve earned it.
Now you may be thinking, none of this screams “trauma” on the surface.
“In fact, it often gets praised…being responsible, independent, always composed. But underneath, your nervous system might still be running on survival mode.”
That’s why trauma symptoms are so often misread.
What’s really a protective response might look like burnout, anxiety, disconnection, or even a personality trait.
And because these patterns become familiar, you might not question them.
You might just think, This is how I’ve always been.
When we view these patterns through a somatic lens, we begin to understand that many of them aren’t who we are, but rather, they’re strategies the body developed to help us survive.
And once we recognize that, we can begin to meet those parts with more curiosity, compassion, and support.
7 Hidden Symptoms of Unprocessed Trauma
I’ve noticed something again and again…trauma doesn’t always show up the way people expect it to.
Sometimes it’s not panic or flashbacks.
Sometimes it’s a constant tiredness you can’t explain, or the way your shoulders never quite relax.
It’s the pressure to keep going, the discomfort with stillness, or the feeling that you have to stay on alert… even when things seem fine.
These patterns often go unnoticed because they blend into everyday life. They feel familiar.
In sessions, when I slow down with a client and we start to listen to what the body is actually saying, a different story begins to emerge.
Below are some of the more hidden ways I see unprocessed trauma show up:
1️⃣ Chronic tension or pain: This one is so common it often flies under the radar. Maybe it’s your jaw, shoulders, stomach, or chest, but it’s always there. Sometimes, people don’t even realize how much tension they’re carrying until they feel what it’s like to soften. The body doesn’t hold that tightly without a reason…it’s protecting something.
2️⃣ Fatigue that doesn’t go away: This is more than being sleepy. It’s a deep exhaustion, the kind that seeps into your bones. I often see this when someone’s system has been in survival mode for a long time, especially when in freeze mode. The body is conserving energy, but it’s not truly resting.
3️⃣ Restlessness or the inability to slow down: Have you ever felt like the moment you stop moving, it’s almost like your body doesn’t know what to do with that stillness? You may feel agitated, anxious, or even guilty when you try to rest. That’s your nervous system's way of keeping you busy as a form of protection.
4️⃣ Emotional numbness or disconnection: Sometimes, instead of feeling too much, you may feel nothing. It’s like there’s a fog between you and your own emotions. Numbness can be a survival response. The body shuts down to protect you, but it doesn’t always know when it’s okay to come back online.
5️⃣ Difficulty trusting others or asking for help: I see this a lot in high-functioning, deeply capable people. Hyper-independence can look like strength, but often it’s a response to learning that others weren’t reliable, or that vulnerability wasn’t safe. The body learns to go it alone, even when it doesn’t want to. Many times, this is from growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers. If you would like to learn more about this, check out my blog, Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors.
6️⃣Overreacting, or underreacting, to stress: This can go both ways. Maybe small things send you into a spiral, or maybe you shut down completely. Both are signs that your nervous system may be stuck in a trauma response, even when the current situation doesn’t seem threatening.
7️⃣ Overthinking and mental exhaustion: When your world hasn’t felt safe, your mind can step in to scan for danger. Overanalyzing, perfectionism, and reading between the lines are all ways the body tries to predict or prevent harm. You’re not overthinking for no reason. It’s protection.
“None of these symptoms exists in isolation, and they’re not random. They’re adaptive. They were your body’s way of helping you survive something that felt too much at the time.”
But I want you to know that when we start to understand these symptoms as messages, not flaws, we can begin responding with support, not shame.
How Somatic Therapy Helps Break the Trauma Cycle
When someone asks me what somatic therapy actually does, I often say this: it helps your body finish what it never got to complete.
So much of trauma healing isn’t about talking through what happened, especially if the story is blurry, complex, or you never felt safe to tell someone.
Somatic work meets you somewhere else: in the sensations, impulses, and protective responses that live in the body long after the event has passed.
Because trauma is stored in the nervous system, not just in memory, it doesn’t always respond to logic or insight.
You can know you’re safe now, but still feel tense, guarded, or shut down.
You might want to relax, but your body might not know how.
This is where somatic therapy becomes such a powerful tool.
It doesn’t push you to relive anything.
Instead, it helps you build awareness and relationship with your body’s cues so you can start to recognize when you're bracing, when you're disconnecting, or when you're ready to soften.
In sessions, we might work with:
🌻 Gentle movement to help release stored tension
🌻 Breathwork to support regulation (without overwhelm)
🌻 Grounding practices to help you come back to the present moment
🌻 Tracking sensations as a way to listen more closely to your body’s messages
🌻 Titration and pacing, which means going slow enough for your system to stay safe and engaged
Over time, this kind of work helps the trauma cycle complete in a new way—one that doesn’t retraumatize, but restores.
The goal isn’t to get rid of anything. It’s to help your body realize that it no longer has to keep carrying the past as if it’s still happening.
That’s where capacity grows.
That’s where safety becomes more than just a concept; it becomes a felt experience. And when that happens, the nervous system starts to recalibrate, little by little. The things that once felt impossible, like rest, connection, and ease, start to feel just a bit more reachable.
If you would like to learn more about how Somatic Therapy can be supportive, check out my blog, Choosing the Right Therapy: Why Holistic & Somatic Methods Work Best.
And if you’re feeling ready for deeper support, I know a few people who would love to walk alongside you. At Life By Design Therapy™, we’re known for our compassionate, premier care that blends holistic and somatic approaches to healing. Reach out when you’re ready!
Final Thoughts
If any part of this resonated, I want to gently remind you, your symptoms make sense.
They’re not random, and they’re not signs that something is wrong with you.
They’re signs that your body has been working hard to protect you, even long after the threat has passed.
Unprocessed trauma can weave itself into the way you move through the world without you even realizing it.
But once you start to understand how your nervous system responds to what it’s lived through, everything starts to feel a little less confusing.
A little less heavy.
There’s a way forward, and it doesn’t require you to force or fix anything about yourself.
Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before. It means building a new relationship with your body, your story, and your capacity to feel safe again.
You don’t need a perfect plan to start. You just need a bit of support, a little space to slow down, and the reminder that your body already knows the way home.
If you’re curious about somatic therapy or feel ready to explore this work together, we’d love to support you.
This Weeks Affirmations
I trust that my body holds wisdom.
Rest isn’t weakness, it’s repair.
I’m allowed to go at the pace that feels right for my nervous system.
I can listen to what my body is saying with curiosity.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means creating new experiences that remind me I’m safe now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about trauma, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity" by Nadine Burke Harris
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing By Oprah Winfrey
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Build a Daily Routine to Support Overwhelm
By Melody Wright, LMFT
“Buzzzz!” The alarm goes off. Another day begins, and you’re already counting down the hours until you can crawl back into bed.
Between work demands, rising costs, the heaviness of the news cycle, and the constant juggling of your family’s needs, your mind feels scattered, and your body is worn out.
Sound familiar?
“In the world we’re living in, overwhelm feels like it has become a baseline for the average American.”
We are under constant pressure to do more, respond faster, and hold it all together, even when it feels like too much.
We’ve gotten so used to pushing through that we’ve stopped listening to what our brain and body are trying to tell us, and then wonder why we feel so drained, disconnected, and run down.
However, overwhelm isn’t just about having too much on your plate.
It’s something your whole system feels…mentally, emotionally, and physically.
And when we slow down enough to understand what’s underneath it, we can start responding with intention instead of just coping.
Understanding Overwhelm: What is Your Body Trying to Tell You?
I used to wonder why simple things felt so hard.
Why getting through the day left me feeling drained, scattered, or numb…even when nothing “big” had happened.
What I didn’t realize then is that overwhelm isn’t just about having too much to do.
It’s what happens when my nervous system is carrying more than it has the capacity to hold.
The stress I felt wasn’t just in my mind; it was in my body, too.
I’ve learned that overwhelm can show up in a lot of different ways:
🌿 Anxiety – Your body is on high alert, anticipating what might go wrong. Your thoughts race, your breath shortens, and you can’t seem to slow down.
🌿 Depression – Everything feels heavy, even simple tasks. It’s hard to find momentum, and rest never feels quite restorative.
🌿 Unprocessed trauma – The nervous system stays stuck in patterns of protection—reacting to stress like it’s still happening, even when life is calm.
🌿 Burnout – Too many responsibilities and not enough recovery time wear down your system until you feel depleted, detached, or irritable.
What I used to see as “not trying hard enough” was really my body trying to protect me.
“Somatic therapy helped me understand that these responses weren’t weaknesses; they were messages.”
They were signals that indicated that I needed more regulation, more rest, more support.
And once I started listening to those signals instead of overriding them, I finally had space to breathe and slowly rebuild my capacity from the inside out.
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how I was able to do this.
Spoiler alert! You can keep reading to find out. 😉
Why a Somatic Daily Routine Is Key to Managing Overwhelm
Once I began to understand that my overwhelm was rooted in my nervous system, not just my schedule, I realized I didn’t need more productivity hacks.
I needed more safety.
That’s where building a somatic daily routine came in.
This is not a rigid checklist or a perfectly timed planner, but rather a rhythm in my day I could return to.
I started to learn that predictability isn’t about control, it’s about creating cues of safety.
When my days had a more gentle structure, my nervous system didn’t have to stay on high alert, scanning for what was coming next.
Even simple things, like starting my morning with the same song or ending the day with a warm cup of tea, began to feel like anchors.
Not because they solved everything, but because they gave my body something familiar to lean on.
“What made the difference wasn’t how much I got done, it was how often I slowed down enough to check in with myself.”
That’s the heart of a somatic routine.
It’s not about “doing it right.”
It’s about asking: What helps me feel grounded? What helps me feel safe enough to show up for my life with compassion?
A daily rhythm became my way of practicing care, not control.
And over time, it helped me create more space between the urgency of the world and the steadiness I was learning to build within myself.
If you’re looking for more tips to manage overwhelm and restore focus, check out my blog, 6 Ways to Restore Your Focus By Reconnecting With Yourself.
6 Key Elements of a Body-Based Routine
When I first realized I needed a new kind of daily rhythm, I was already stretched thin.
I didn’t have the energy for a complicated routine or big lifestyle changes.
What I needed were simple, supportive practices that helped my body feel safe, one small moment at a time.
Here are the elements that have made the biggest difference for me, that I now offer to clients who are also learning how to care for their own nervous system.
Start With Grounding, Not Scrolling
For so long, I started my day by checking my phone, messages, news, and social media, and I didn’t realize how quickly that pulled my system into overdrive.
Now, I try to start the morning by grounding first. That might look like:
✔️ Placing a hand on my chest and one on my belly as I breathe
✔️ Gently stretching or swaying before getting out of bed
✔️ Looking around the room and naming what I see (a somatic practice called orienting)
These simple actions tell my nervous system to settle by reminding my body that the day can start with safety, not urgency.
Anchor Your Day With Regulation Breaks
Throughout the day, I build in small moments to pause and check in. I used to push through until I crashed. Now, I try to notice my body before it hits that wall.
A few practices I return to:
✔️ A 3-minute body scan to gently notice where I’m holding tension
✔️ A hand-over-heart pause between tasks
✔️ Looking outside and breathing deeply
These small breaks help my body reset. They remind me I don’t have to stay in survival mode just to keep going.
Move Your Body in Gentle, Consistent Ways
For a long time, I thought movement had to be intense to count. But when I was overwhelmed, those expectations made me freeze.
Somatic movement gave me a new way in. I started moving not to “burn calories,” but to release tension and reconnect with my body.
Some of my favorites:
✔️ Swaying side to side while standing or sitting
✔️ Shaking out my hands or legs to discharge built-up stress
✔️ Going for slow walks without a destination
This kind of movement tells my nervous system: you’re allowed to feel, and you’re safe to move through it.
Prioritize Safety Cues in Your Environment
What surrounds me matters more than I used to realize.
Personally, my body responds to light, sound, texture, and especially clutter.
So I started creating small areas of sensory safety wherever I could, including:
✔️ Soft lighting instead of harsh overhead lights
✔️ Music that calms or comforts me
✔️ Cozy blankets, warm tea, or grounding scents like lavender
✔️ Spaces that feel familiar and welcoming
Even when the outside world feels unpredictable, these little cues help my nervous system remember: I’m okay.
Include Transitions for Emotional Decompression
One of the biggest shifts for me was learning to honor transitions.
Instead of jumping from one role to the next like work, parenting, caretaking, and cleaning, I started giving myself time to shift.
A few practices that help:
✔️ Washing my hands as a symbolic “reset”
✔️ Changing into comfy clothes at the end of the workday
✔️ Taking five minutes to breathe in silence before dinner
✔️ Giving myself permission to release or shake off stress when I move from “doing” to “resting”
These rituals give my system space to release what it’s been holding, and prepare for what’s next without rushing.
End the Day With Co-Regulation or Self-Soothing
At the end of the day, I try to give my body what it’s really asking for, and that can look different every day.
So a part of this end-of-the-day ritual starts with allowing myself to tune in to what I’m needing.
Some evenings, I journal to let my thoughts out. Other nights, I’ll meditate or drink my favorite tea. Other times, I just sit in the quiet and feel the rhythm of my breath.
Sometimes, simply sitting with someone, without needing to say anything, can be enough.
These nighttime rituals help me shift out of “doing mode” and into rest-and-digest, the state where my body can finally exhale.
I often see clients make beautiful progress with their daily rhythms, only to hit a wall they can’t quite name. The overwhelm doesn’t go away, it just shifts.
That’s when we start to look beneath the surface.
Signs Your Overwhelm Is Coming From Trauma, Not Just Stress
Daily rhythms can be incredibly supportive, but for some, they aren’t the whole picture.
Even with grounding practices, nervous system check-ins, and gentle routines in place, sometimes it can still feel like you’re barely keeping your head above water.
And it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s often because the overwhelm you're experiencing isn’t just about today. It’s about what your body has been holding for far longer than a single day’s stress can explain.
In my work with clients, I’ve noticed that chronic or persistent overwhelm often points to deeper, unresolved needs within the nervous system.
Here are a few patterns I see again and again:
1️⃣ Unprocessed trauma –When the body isn’t able to fully process an experience, it doesn’t just disappear; it often shows up later as patterns like shutdown, hypervigilance, or a persistent sense of unease.
2️⃣ Lack of co-regulation – Many people have gone through life without ever truly feeling emotionally safe with others. Over time, their nervous system adapts, learning to stay alert, self-contained, and always prepared, often at the cost of deep exhaustion.
3️⃣ Emotional suppression or perfectionism – Whether it’s a belief that you have to be “the strong one” or a tendency to downplay your needs, these survival strategies create enormous inner pressure over time. Many times, this stems from growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers. If you would like to learn more about this, check out my blog, How Growing Up with Emotionally Unavailable Parents Still Affects You and How to Heal.
When these patterns are in place, even a well-structured routine can only go so far. The body needs more than strategies; it needs repair, safety, and connection.
This is where somatic therapy can be so powerful.
Instead of trying to think or talk your way out of overwhelm, when you work with a Somatic Therapist, you work slowly, with the body. Together, you can build the capacity to feel what’s been held back, to rewire survival patterns, and to create a sense of grounded safety from the inside out.
“For many of my clients, this isn’t just about managing stress; it’s about reclaiming access to peace, rest, and emotional presence they didn’t even realize they were missing.”
Because sometimes, overwhelm isn’t something you can organize your way out of.
It’s something that asks to be listened to, held, and healed.
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this, it’s this:
You don’t need to get it all right. You just need to feel safe enough to begin.
The goal isn’t to fix yourself, and it’s not to force structure onto an already stressed-out system.
It’s to offer your body moments of relief, rhythm, and reassurance throughout the day, so you can slowly rebuild capacity from the inside out.
Your routine doesn’t have to be impressive. It just has to be supportive.
That might mean starting the morning with three deep breaths instead of your phone, or pausing for one minute between tasks to feel your feet on the floor.
These moments add up.
They send quiet signals to your nervous system.
Because the more safety we feel, the more capacity we have to care for ourselves, to show up for others, and to meet life’s challenges with steadiness and grace.
You don’t need a perfect routine.
You need a rhythm that honors your humanity, holds your nervous system with care, and gives you space to just be. 💙
This Weeks Affirmations
I don’t have to push through; I can pause and care for myself.
It’s okay to need rest, routine, and regulation.
I am learning to listen to what my body needs.
I don’t need a perfect routine, just one that feels grounding.
I can offer myself gentleness, even when things feel heavy.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support stress and overwhelm, check out these books below:
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Use Affirmations to Build Self-Worth
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I often see people come into sessions feeling defeated by their own inner dialogue.
They’ve tried to shift it by trying positive affirmations, but the words don’t seem to land.
If you’ve ever said an affirmation like, “I am enough,” only to feel discomfort, disbelief, or even shame in response, there are so many people who feel the same way.
However, I want you to know that you’re not doing it wrong.
The response you feel can be deeply informative.
It tells you something about your nervous system and how it’s been shaped by past experiences.
“Your self-worth isn’t just a mindset. It’s a lived experience in the body”
When your nervous system has learned to be hypervigilant, shut down, or stuck in survival mode, it’s not concerned with worthiness. It’s focused on protection. This means that trying to think your way into self-worth with affirmations can feel jarring, even threatening, if your body doesn’t yet feel safe.
As a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that healing isn’t just about thinking differently; it’s about feeling safer and more connected in your body.
Affirmations are just one piece, but when paired with nervous system awareness and gentle regulation, they can help us start to rewire those deeply held beliefs.
Are Affirmations a Form of Shadow Work?
In many ways, yes.
Shadow work is about meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve exiled, whether out of shame, fear, or protection.
Affirmations often reveal those shadows.
When you say, “I am worthy,” and a voice inside says, “That’s not true,” you’ve just found a part of yourself that still needs healing.
That discomfort isn’t a sign to stop.
The process of practicing affirmations can reveal the parts of us that still hold doubt or pain.
They bring up the wounded parts, the protectors, the stories we’ve internalized.
In this way, they can surface the unconscious, just like shadow work does.
The key is to stay curious and compassionate toward whatever arises in response.
When you bump up against a block, it’s not a dead end. It’s your nervous system’s way of saying, “There’s something here that still needs care.”
What Are Common Blocks to Practicing Affirmations?
A block might show up as a tight chest, a sinking feeling in your stomach, or an inner voice that scoffs.
It might be rooted in early relationships where love had to be earned, or times when hope was followed by hurt.
Whatever form it takes, a block is usually your body’s attempt to protect you from perceived threat, even if that threat is something as simple as believing you're enough.
If affirmations bring up discomfort, that’s okay.
That discomfort is a messenger.
Take a moment to slow down and ask, “Which part of me doesn’t believe this yet? What does it need?”
Some other common things you might experience are:
🌻 Feeling fake or silly
🌻 Shame or grief surfacing
🌻 A sense of misalignment because the affirmations don’t match your lived experience
🌻 Fear around believing good things might lead to disappointment
But...how do you start this journey? You’ll find out by the end of this blog! 😉
4 Ways to Make Affirmations More Effective and Meaningful
Affirmations don’t work just because we repeat them over and over; they work when our body feels grounded enough to receive them.
When your nervous system feels overwhelmed or shut down, even the most well-meaning affirmation can bounce off.
But when you feel steady, calm, and connected, there’s more space for those words to take root.
Here’s what helps:
1️⃣ Regulation comes first: Start affirmations when you feel relatively calm. Or use regulating tools (breath, grounding, gentle movement) to create that calm as you speak them.
2️⃣ Keep them believable: An affirmation like "I’m learning how to feel safe in my body" may land better than "I love everything about myself."
3️⃣ Use the body as a bridge: Place a hand on your heart or belly, soften your jaw, or sway gently. This signals to your system that it’s okay to receive new input.
4️⃣ Say them in a place that feels safe: Repetition matters, but so does the context. Try affirmations in places that feel warm and supportive.
Once your body feels supported and safe enough to take in the words, the next step is allowing those affirmations to move from something you say… to something you start to believe.
How To Start Believing Your Affirmations
You try to affirm something good about yourself… but there’s that part of you that pulls back.
It’s hard when the words feel so far from your truth.
That space in between, between saying it and actually believing it, is where the real work begins.
Making that shift from saying the words to truly feeling them takes:
🌻 Nervous system safety
🌻 Time and repetition
🌻 Curiosity about what’s in the way
“We’re not trying to overwrite your history; we’re creating space for new stories to emerge.”
Think of affirmations as seeds.
If the soil is still frozen by fear or trauma, nothing can grow.
But if we warm the soil with regulation and care, those seeds (even tiny ones like “I’m not broken”) can begin to take root.
How Can You Start Your Affirmation Journey?
Your affirmation practice doesn’t have to be loud or polished.
In fact, the gentlest openings are often the most transformative.
If the idea of affirmations feels overwhelming, start by noticing your internal response.
What arises in your body when you say something kind to yourself? Is there tightening, resistance, or a feeling of emptiness?
These are all clues that your nervous system is communicating with you.
The goal isn’t to push past the discomfort but to stay with it just long enough to offer warmth.
Small, compassionate truths are powerful. Try starting with:
“It’s okay to go slow.”
“I’m learning to listen to myself.”
“I’m open to the idea that I might be worthy.”
“I’m doing the best I can with what I know.”
And if some days the words feel unfamiliar or a little out of reach, that’s okay. Letting them feel awkward, clunky, or new is still a beautiful place to begin.
Final Thoughts
Affirmations are not about ignoring pain or pretending to be okay.
They’re about creating new possibilities through repetition, regulation, and relationship.
As a somatic therapist, I’ve seen how powerful this work can be when we bring the body along for the journey.
You deserve to feel safe.
You deserve to feel worthy.
Let’s give your nervous system the conditions it needs to believe that.❤️
This Weeks Affirmations
I am learning to feel safe in my body.
Safety is a feeling I’m growing into.
I can hold space for who I am and who I’m becoming
I can move at the pace my body needs.
I don’t have to earn my worth; I already have it.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to build your self-worth, check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
6 Ways to Return to the Present When Your Mind Won’t Stay Put
By Melody Wright, LMFT
When it’s hard to focus, it’s easy to blame things like too much screen time, not enough willpower, or falling behind on another productivity hack.
But struggling to focus usually isn’t about a lack of discipline; it could be your body or mind trying to tell you something.
Sometimes we push past those signals without even realizing it.
We distract ourselves because sitting with what we’re really feeling can be uncomfortable.
Distraction isn’t a bad habit; it can actually be a way our system protects us from feeling overwhelmed.
You might notice your attention slipping when there’s something underneath the surface that hasn’t had space to be felt. And the more we ignore that, the harder it is to stay present.
But when we pause and notice what’s really going on inside, it becomes easier to come back to the present moment.
Regaining focus is possible, you just need to learn how to build awareness around your patterns. And that starts with paying attention to what’s happening within.
Instead of jumping straight into strategies, it’s worth taking a moment to look at what’s actually pulling your focus away in the first place.
Understanding the Root of Distraction
Distraction May Be a Symptom of Unseen Stress and Disregulation
Distraction is frequently misunderstood as laziness or a lack of motivation.
It’s easy to overlook or misunderstand, but sometimes what looks like distraction or shutdown is really the nervous system’s way of saying, “This feels like too much.”
Sometimes the overwhelm is obvious, like when you're under pressure or juggling too many demands.
Other times, it can be the subtle emotions that linger, an unresolved tension in the background, or the result of pushing through for too long without rest.
Before jumping into another productivity hack or forcing yourself to push through, try asking:
✔️Has my body had time to rest lately?
✔️ Is something I’m avoiding trying to surface?
✔️ What emotions or sensations have I been brushing past?
These aren’t questions to answer quickly, they’re invitations to slow down and get curious about what’s happening beneath the surface.
We Often Override the Signals Meant to Guide Us
Many of us have learned to push through discomfort.
We override the tightness in our chest, the racing thoughts, or the fatigue behind our eyes.
We reach for caffeine, open another tab, or power through our to-do list, believing that more effort will bring clarity.
But what if:
That stomach ache may be anxiety.
That foggy head could be stress, grief, or unmet needs.
That impulse to scroll might be your system asking for a pause… not more pressure.
Overriding these signals creates a loop: the more we ignore, the louder the body speaks, often through distraction, discomfort, or shutdown.
Reconnection begins with permission:
✔️Permission to slow down
✔️Permission to feel what’s there
✔️Permission to respond instead of override
Once we begin listening to these signals with curiosity instead of judgment, we can start using supportive tools that help us stay grounded and present.
6 Coping Skills That Support Focus Through the Body and Nervous System
So, what can you do to actually refocus when your mind is scattered and your body’s feeling off?
Here are a few body-based strategies to try:
1. Let Your Body Give You Feedback
When focus fades, returning to your body can help you understand why. The body has a way of picking up on things before the mind does.
You might notice your shoulders are tight, your jaw is clenched, or your breath is shallow.
These signals matter.
Somatic Tip: The next time you feel your attention starts to shift, try:
✔️ Pause and place a hand on your chest or belly
✔️ Ask, “What am I feeling physically right now?
✔️ Notice without needing to change anything
Even a brief pause to check in can interrupt the cycle of distraction and create space to refocus with more intention.
2. Use Grounding Practices to Come Back to the Moment
Being present doesn’t always come naturally, especially in overstimulating or emotionally charged environments.
Grounding practices can give your body and brain the cues they need to settle into the moment.
Somatic Tip: If your mind keeps drifting or your body feels tense, try these grounding tools to bring yourself back to the present moment.
✔️ Feel your feet: Press them into the floor. Shift your weight side to side.
✔️ Orient visually: Look around the room. Name five things you see.
✔️ Breathe rhythmically: Inhale for four counts, exhale for six. Repeat gently.
These aren't tools for forcing yourself to concentrate, they’re ways to support your body so it can come back to the task at hand more easily.
3. Help Your Nervous System Feel Safe
The ability to focus depends on whether your nervous system feels safe, not just in your environment, but inside your body.
When there’s a sense of internal threat or unrest, focus often gives way to survival-based responses like hypervigilance, avoidance, or shutdown.
This internal threat can simply be uncomfortable emotions being avoided, or stress from having too much on your plate.
You might notice this when:
✔️ You feel scattered, no matter how much you care about the task
✔️ You start something and instantly want to do something else
✔️ Your body is buzzing with energy, but you're too drained to focus
Somatic Tip: When your nervous system is feeling overwhelmed, try small, soothing movements that communicate safety to your body:
✔️ Swaying slowly side to side or rocking forward and back
✔️ Using gentle pressure on your arms and legs, or wrap yourself in a blanket
✔️ Stepping outside for fresh air and a reset
Small physical shifts like these can help your system settle, and focus often returns when there’s a sense of safety.
4. Work With Your Natural Rhythms
Strict routines can backfire when you're already running on low capacity.
Instead of holding yourself to rigid expectations, try working within your natural rhythms, your energy cycles, emotional waves, and the signals your body sends throughout the day.
Somatic Tip: Notice when your energy naturally rises and dips throughout the day. Then experiment with flexible structures that work with your body, not against it:
✔️ Focus sprints: Work for 25–45 minutes, then take a break
✔️ Anchor points: Use small rituals like making your favorite cup of tea, stretching, or soft lighting to begin or end focus periods
✔️ Energy mapping: Track when you feel most alert or calm during the day and schedule tasks accordingly
This approach treats focus as something to support, not something to control. It makes room for rest and presence to exist side by side, so you can recharge without completely checking out.
5. Gently Bring Your Attention Back When It Wanders
Distraction is part of being human.
The goal isn’t to eliminate it, but rather to become aware that it’s happening and give yourself compassion when it does.
When your mind wanders, try responding with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
Somatic Tip: When you catch your mind wandering, take a breath and gently guide it back, without judgment. Try saying to yourself:
✔️ “It’s okay. Let’s come back to this.”
✔️ “I can start again from right here.”
✔️ “Distraction is normal. I’m still showing up.”
Focus becomes more sustainable when it feels safe to return, again and again.
6. Use Your Senses to Support Focus
Sensory input can help the body orient and settle.
Consider creating small sensory rituals that signal to your system, “This is a time for focus.”
Somatic Tip: Choose one or two sensory rituals to help signal to your body that it’s time to settle in:
✔️ Scent: Use essential oils like rosemary, citrus, or cedarwood
✔️ Sound: Play instrumental or ambient nature sounds
✔️ Touch: Keep a smooth stone, soft fabric, or grounding object nearby
✔️ Taste: Sip something warm and calming before you begin
These simple cues offer familiarity and comfort, which can reduce resistance and help your body ease into focus.
Final Thoughts
Focus isn’t just a mental task, it’s a full-body experience.
It’s shaped by how we listen to ourselves, how we respond to our needs, and how we treat the parts of us asking to be noticed.
When distraction shows up, it’s not always a sign to push harder. Sometimes it’s a quiet signal from within, asking for a moment of care.
The invitation isn’t to force more effort. It’s to pause. To feel. To respond instead of override. And to return, to yourself over and over again.
This Weeks Affirmations
It’s safe for me to slow down and listen to what I need.
Focus grows when I feel safe, supported, and seen by myself.
I honor what’s present, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I can meet myself with patience, even when my mind wanders.
I don’t have to push through—I can pause and respond.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support focus, presence, and nervous system awareness, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation by Deb Dana
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—And How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
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