6 Natural Ways to Ease Anxiety
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I know what it’s like to live with anxiety; to feel your body tense up for no clear reason, to lie awake at night with your thoughts running in circles, or to carry that heavy sense of dread through your day.
It takes me back to college during finals week. I can still remember the late nights with my roommates, trying to pull all-nighters, grabbing junk food and soda to push through, running on maybe four hours of sleep before doing it all over again.
My body felt like it was in complete stress mode: exhausted, jittery, and constantly on edge. I remember thinking how brutal it was on both my body and mind, like I was living in fight-or-flight just to get through exams.
And even then, when people would say things like, “Don’t worry so much” or “It’s going to be fine,” it felt impossible to take in, especially when everyone around me was doing the exact same thing, stressing and cramming like their lives depended on it.
That’s the thing about anxiety: if calming down were that simple, you would’ve done it already.
That’s why I want to share a few natural ways to ease anxiety.
These tips are not about “fixing” you or making stress disappear overnight. Instead, they’re gentle, practical practices that can help your nervous system remember what safety feels like.
👉 Here are some of the natural, somatic tools I come back to again and again, for myself and with clients.
1. Grounding To Regulate Your Body
When anxiety pulls you into “what if” mode, grounding can bring you back to the here and now.
I often guide clients through a simple calming sensory practice, because when anxiety takes hold, your body isn’t convinced by pep talks or positive thinking. What it really needs is a direct experience of safety in the present moment.
Therapist Tip: Look around and name five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Move slowly. Let your body notice. This one's an oldie but goodie. It's commonly used when working with trauma clients to help ground them in the present moment.
Grounding helps most when you understand the different ways anxiety shows up in your body and mind. If you want to learn more about those signs, I shared them in our blog, Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing.
2. Breathing to Help Your Body Settle
I’ve learned that when my anxiety spikes, my breath almost always becomes shallow and fast, as if my body is bracing for danger, even when nothing is happening.
Breathing with intention is one of the quickest ways to remind the nervous system it’s okay to settle, because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which signals to the body that it’s safe to relax and come out of “fight-or-flight.”
Therapist Tip: Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, then exhale through your mouth for 6 counts. That longer exhale is what tells your body, “I’m safe enough to slow down.” The longer exhale is a way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
3. Moving Gently to Release Tension
Anxiety doesn’t just affect your thoughts; it gets stored in your body, too.
I see this so often in clients: tight jaws, hunched shoulders, or a leg that just won't stop moving. And honestly? I’ve carried that same tension myself and often have tightness in my neck and shoulders.
When you move, even just a little, you give your body a way to release what it’s holding.
Therapist Tip: Roll your shoulders, stretch your arms overhead, or shake out your hands. If you’re able to, step outside for a short walk. Movement + fresh air is one of the simplest resets I know.
4. Journaling to Clear Mental Loops
Have you ever noticed how anxious thoughts can loop on repeat, like they never stop playing in your head?
Journaling can help break that loop. I often tell clients that thoughts left swirling in your head often grow louder. Writing them down gives them form, and with form comes the chance to shape, shift, and process them.
“Writing them down gives them form, and with form comes the chance to shape, shift, and process them.”
Therapist Tip: Open a notebook and start with the words, “Right now, I feel…” Don’t edit. Don’t overthink. Just let it spill out. You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel after just a few minutes.
5. Establishing a Routine in Your Day for Nervous System Balance
One of the most natural ways to calm anxiety is by creating steady rhythms in your life.
Our nervous systems crave predictability, regular meals, consistent rest, movement, and moments of pause, all of which give your body signals of safety. When those rhythms are missing, anxiety often has more space to grow.
I’ve noticed in myself (and with clients) how skipping meals, staying up too late, or overloading on caffeine can leave the body feeling jittery and on edge.
On the other hand, creating gentle daily rhythms, eating at regular times, drinking enough water, moving your body, and making space for downtime can help the nervous system find balance.
Therapist Tip: Choose one area of your day where you can add more rhythm. Maybe it’s starting your morning with a calm routine, taking a short walk after lunch, or setting a bedtime reminder so your body knows it’s time to unwind. Small, steady rhythms can do more for anxiety than you might expect. If you would like more info on how to start a daily rhythm, check out our blog, How to Build A Daily Routine to Support Overwhelm.
6. Spending Time in Nature to Restore a Sense of Calm
There’s something about being outside that can shift anxiety in a way nothing else does. I notice it in my own body almost immediately; the way my shoulders drop a little, the way my breath deepens.
Nature has a regulating effect.
Even a few minutes in fresh air can remind your nervous system that life is bigger than the cycle of worry you’re in.
Therapist Tip: Step outside and notice three things, like the feeling of the ground steady beneath your feet, the sound of the wind moving or birds calling, or the colors that catch your eye. Let your senses soak it in.
Final Thoughts
Here’s what I want you to remember: these natural practices aren’t about “curing” anxiety or expecting yourself to feel calm all the time. They’re about giving your nervous system small, steady reminders that safety exists. And over time, those reminders add up.
It’s also important to know that these tools take practice and patience. At first, you might not notice a huge shift, or you might find it difficult to concentrate at times, and that’s okay.
Your nervous system has probably been carrying anxiety for a long time, so learning to settle again can take repetition.
The goal isn’t to “get it right”; the goal is to keep showing up with compassion for yourself, even if the progress feels small.
You deserve moments of peace, and it’s possible to create more of them with time, practice, and gentleness toward yourself.
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me. I am more than what I feel in this moment.
I don’t need to get this perfect for it to matter.
My body carries wisdom, and I can learn to listen to it with kindness.
My nervous system is learning that safety is possible.
I can meet my anxiety with compassion instead of judgment.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal anxiety, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Is This Anxiety? The Subtle Signs You Might Be Missing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever noticed your heart racing at random times, or your stomach tightening even when nothing is “wrong”?
Or maybe your thoughts always seem one step ahead of you, rehearsing conversations, preparing for worst-case scenarios, or circling around a worry you just can’t shake.
If so, you might wonder: Is this anxiety, or just stress?
I want you to know that anxiety doesn’t wear just one face, and it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or uncontrollable worry.
Sometimes, it’s subtle, woven into your body, your thoughts, your emotions, in ways that can leave you feeling both restless and worn out at the same time.
Talk therapy can be a helpful way to slow things down. It gives you space to reflect, make sense of your experiences, and put words to the feelings that sometimes feel overwhelming.
Talking things through can bring clarity and can quiet the mental noise when anxiety shows up.
“But anxiety doesn’t always start in your thoughts. More often than not, the very first signs are happening in your body, before your mind even catches on.”
If you’re wondering if you may be struggling with anxiety, keep reading to learn how anxiety can show up in your body, mind, and emotions.
Anxiety in the Body
For many people, anxiety makes its first appearance through physical sensations. The nervous system reacts before the mind even has a chance to make sense of it. Tense shoulders, clenched jaw, or a racing heart, even while sitting still, are common signs your body is on alert.
Sometimes this shows up most clearly at night: you lie down tired and ready for rest, only to feel a knot in your stomach or a tightness in your chest that keeps you awake.
These sensations aren’t random; they’re signals from your body saying, “Something doesn’t feel right,” even if your logical mind knows you are safe.
Clinically, resources like the DSM-5 highlight these body-based symptoms, like muscle tension, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping, as key indicators of anxiety.
“In other words, your body picks up on anxiety long before your thoughts catch up”
🌻Therapist Tip: When you start to notice these patterns, it helps to give your nervous system a way to settle. Press your feet gently into the ground as if you’re rooting into the floor. Inhale for a count of 4, then exhale for 8. Even small shifts in your body can remind you that you’re safe.
Anxiety in the Mind
Anxiety doesn’t just live in the body; it often takes hold of the mind. Because the brain is wired to scan for threats, anxious thoughts can spin in circles by replaying conversations, anticipating the worst, or reminding you of everything you “should” have done differently.
Many people describe feeling pulled out of the present moment.
“ Anxiety can anchor you in the past, stuck on what already happened, or push you into the future, rehearsing every possible outcome. ”
Either way, the here and now feels just out of reach.
Excessive and hard-to-control worry is one of the hallmarks of anxiety. When your thoughts feel louder than your ability to quiet them, it’s a sign your mind is trying to protect you.
The good news is that there are simple ways to interrupt the cycle and remind your brain that it doesn’t have to stay stuck in worry.
🌻Therapist Tip: Cross your arms and give yourself gentle, alternating taps on your upper arms—left, then right. This rhythmic, bilateral input helps the brain settle and can bring balance when your thoughts feel stuck on repeat.
Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety
Did you know anxiety doesn’t just show up as racing thoughts or physical tension? It also weighs heavily on your emotions.
You might feel restless or on edge, like it’s hard to settle into calm. Irritability or frustration may surface more easily, not because you want it to, but because your emotional energy feels stretched thin.
For others, anxiety brings a sense of dread…or the opposite, a kind of numbness where joy and excitement feel just out of reach.
These shifts in mood are part of why anxiety can be so exhausting. When your mind and body are running on overdrive, your emotions follow.
Naming what you’re feeling is the first step toward easing it, and finding ways to release those emotions keeps them from building up inside.
If naming emotions feels hard, I completely understand. It might surprise you, but many of us were never taught how. I share more about recognizing and processing emotions in this blog on learning to connect with your feelings.
🌻Therapist Tip: Set a timer for five minutes, grab a notebook, and write without editing yourself. Start with the phrase, “Right now, I feel…” and let whatever comes spill onto the page. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Giving your emotions a safe outlet may help your body feel a little lighter.
Questions You Might Be Asking Yourself
By now, you may be wondering some of the same questions many people ask when they’re trying to make sense of what they’re feeling:
1.“How do I know if this is really anxiety?”
One of the most confusing parts of anxiety is that it doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or obvious fear.
Sometimes it’s the nervous system stuck in a state of hyperarousal, like the gas pedal is pressed down, even when you’re just trying to rest.
Other times, it shows up as anticipatory stress, the sense that something bad is coming, even if nothing is happening at the moment.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by:
Excessive anxiety and worry, occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).
The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.
The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms present more days than not for the past 6 months):
Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)
The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
The disturbance is not attributable to the effects of a substance (like drugs or medication) or another medical condition, and is not better explained by another mental disorder.
Please note: This list comes directly from the DSM-5 and is used by mental health professionals for clinical diagnosis. Reading these criteria can be helpful for self-understanding, but it’s not meant for self-diagnosis. If you recognize yourself in these symptoms, consider reaching out to a mental health provider for support and clarity.
What makes it anxiety is not just the symptoms themselves, but the persistence of them.
Stress usually comes and goes with a situation.
Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers.
It hangs around long enough to interfere with sleep, focus, or your sense of ease in daily life.
And here’s the important part: you don’t need to wait until your anxiety feels unbearable to reach out for support.
It’s not about how “bad” it looks from the outside; it’s about how it feels to you, and whether it’s stealing from your peace of mind.
2.“Why does it show up in my body?”
Anxiety isn’t just one thought; sometimes it can feel like your mind won’t stop racing. But anxiety doesn’t only stay in your mind; it shows up in your body, too, because anxiety involves your nervous system.
Your nervous system can sound the alarm even if you’re in a secure place, which is why you might feel it in your chest, stomach, or muscles just as much as in your mind.
Anxiety often comes from the body misreading cues as threats. For example, a tight deadline at work or a hard conversation with someone you care about might not be life-threatening, but your nervous system can still respond as though you’re in danger.
This is why your heart races, your breath quickens, or your muscles tense up; your body is preparing to protect you.
For many people, past trauma can make this response even stronger.
“When you’ve lived through situations that were overwhelming or unsafe, your nervous system learns to stay on guard. ”
Even years later, small reminders, or sometimes nothing obvious at all, can activate the same fight-or-flight response.
If you would like to learn about trauma and how it affects your well-being, check out our blog, 7 Signs of Unprocessed Trauma.
And when stress builds over long periods of time, your system doesn’t always get the chance to reset. Instead of returning to calm, your body can get stuck in a cycle of hypervigilance. That constant “on edge” state is what so many people recognize as anxiety.
3.“How Can I Calm My Anxiety in the Moment?”
While therapy can help you untangle the deeper roots of anxiety, there are also simple, body-based practices that can bring relief right away.
When your nervous system is activated, your body doesn’t respond well to logic alone. You can’t always “think” your way out of anxiety, but you can show your body that it’s safe. That’s where somatic tools come in.
Here are a few ways to calm your anxiety in the moment:
🌻 Grounding - Bring your attention back to what’s around you right now, instead of getting pulled into worries about the past or future.
🌻 Gentle Movement - Stretching or slow movement helps release the muscle tension your body holds when it’s braced for danger.
🌻 Breathwork - Slowing your breath lowers your heart rate and signals to your brain that it’s okay to settle.
🌻 Soothing Touch - Even placing a hand over your heart or stomach can cue your system toward calm. The warmth and pressure provide a physical reminder of safety.
These practices don’t erase anxiety entirely, but they give you small, accessible ways to interrupt the cycle in real time. And those small moments of relief matter.
They remind your nervous system that it has another option besides staying stuck in survival mode.
Final Reflections
If you see yourself in these words, I want you to know that there is hope.
Nothing about what you’re feeling makes you weak or less than. Anxiety isn’t a flaw in who you are; it’s your body and mind trying, sometimes a little too hard, to keep you safe.
I know it can feel easier sometimes to just keep pushing through, telling yourself you’ll deal with it later. But I want you to know that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Anxiety feels heavy because it is heavy, and it wasn’t meant to be managed alone.
At Life By Design Therapy™, we take a holistic, somatic approach to anxiety. That means we don’t just sit and talk about what you’re going through; we also help you work with your body, so you can start to feel more grounded and safe in your own skin.
“Bit by bit, your system can learn what it feels like to actually exhale again.”
You don’t have to wait until things get worse to reach out. You deserve support now, exactly as you are. 💚
This Week’s Affirmations
Anxiety does not define me; it’s only one part of my experience.
This feeling is temporary; it will pass.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
My body is not the enemy; it’s doing its best to protect me.
My body is allowed to feel what it feels, and I am safe right now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Heal Your Body Image With These body-based tools
By Melody Wright, LMFT
You tug at your clothes, cross your arms, shift your posture.
You find anything to distract others from the parts of yourself you can’t stop criticizing.
And it doesn’t just happen in the mirror. It follows you into photos, into conversations, even into the way you carry yourself through a crowded room.
Even when others don’t notice, your mind zooms in on the details like your hips, which you think are too wide, arms that don’t look toned enough, or skin that never seems smooth enough.
This isn’t just about confidence, it isn’t vanity, and it isn’t you being dramatic.
These patterns often trace back to something deeper.
Maybe it’s things you went through when you were younger, stress that’s built up over time, or a nervous system that reacts by bracing, numbing out, or pulling away.
You didn’t choose to feel this way.
And the way forward isn’t about forcing yourself to feel confident.
It begins with helping your body feel safe again.
Start with Safety, Not Self-Esteem Hacks
A lot of people come into therapy thinking they just need to change the way they think about their body. And while mindset work has its place, it’s not usually where we begin.
Because if your body hasn’t felt like a safe place to live in, no amount of positive thinking is going to change that.
You can say kind things to yourself, but still feel your chest tighten or your stomach drop the moment you try to believe them.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means your body has learned to protect you…through tension, through checking out, through trying to stay small.
This isn’t about forcing your body image to improve.
It’s about slowly helping your body feel safe enough to come back to.
How Somatic Therapy Supports Body Image Healing
In somatic therapy, we don’t just explore what you think about your body; we pay attention to what your body has been holding all along.
Body image struggles often show up in subtle, physical ways. You might not even realize it at first. Maybe it looks like…
a slouched posture from years of trying to disappear
holding your breath as you walk into a room
tension that lives in your stomach, jaw, or chest
avoiding mirrors or photos…not out of vanity, but because being seen feels overwhelming
These aren’t random habits.
They’re protective responses.
Your nervous system may have learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze in order to cope with being judged, sexualized, ignored, or controlled.
And that makes so much sense.
In therapy, we start by slowing things down by gently noticing what’s happening in your body with curiosity, not judgment.
We create space where your body doesn’t have to perform or protect. It can just be.
And from there, we begin to build something new.
✔️ A felt sense of safety.
✔️ A deeper connection with yourself.
✔️ A shift that doesn’t come from forcing, but from finally feeling safe enough to stay.
That’s how body image begins to change, not just in your thoughts, but in your whole system.
Why Your Window of Tolerance Matters
If you’ve ever worked with a somatic therapist, you might’ve heard the term “window of tolerance.”
But if you haven’t, your “window of tolerance” is a way of understanding how much emotional or physical stress your nervous system can handle before it starts to feel overwhelmed or shut down.
When you’re within that window, things feel manageable.
You can stay present, think clearly, and respond rather than react.
But for many people who struggle with body image, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, that window can be much narrower.
If you grew up in a home where your body was constantly judged or controlled, or you were teased, praised for losing weight, ignored, and made to feel like your body wasn’t enough…your nervous system may have learned early on that being in your body wasn’t safe.
So when something triggers body shame, like a photo, a comment, or even just catching your reflection, your system might respond automatically.
🌻Tightening.
🌻Shutting down.
🌻Spiraling into self-criticism.
Not because you’re overreacting, but because your body is trying to protect you from a familiar kind of pain.
In somatic work, we don’t try to push past that.
We work gently, helping your body build more capacity, so you can feel safer within yourself and stay present longer before overwhelm sets in.
That’s what it means to widen your window of tolerance.
And over time, that space creates the conditions for real, lasting change.
Not by forcing yourself to feel differently but by helping your system know that it’s safe to stay.
Somatic Tools to Support Your Body Image Healing
Even if you’re not in therapy right now, there are still small, supportive ways you can begin to reconnect with your body.
The practices below aren’t about pushing through or trying to fix anything.
They’re about creating tiny moments of safety; places where your system can soften, settle, and slowly begin to trust again.
Each one is simple and invites you to feel just a little more at home in your body.
1. Gentle Reconnection
Place your hand over your heart, your belly, or anywhere that feels neutral. Feel the warmth of your own touch. Let your breath move beneath it, slowly and gently.
👉Why it helps: This kind of physical contact offers your nervous system a sense of containment and reassurance, especially if safe, nurturing touch hasn’t always been part of your experience. It’s a quiet way of telling your body that it’s secure.
2. Orienting
Let your eyes move slowly around the space you’re in. Find something that feels calming, like a soft texture, a plant, or the way sunlight falls across the floor. Let yourself settle there for a moment, and notice what shifts in your breath or body.
👉Why it helps: This simple practice helps anchor you in the here and now. When your body image triggers pull you into old patterns or future fears, orienting reminds your system that it’s okay.
3. Pendulation
Bring your awareness to a sensation that feels challenging, maybe tightness in your chest or a lump in your throat. Stay there just for a breath or two. Then shift your attention to something that feels neutral or supportive, like your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath, or the feeling of your back against the chair.
👉Why it helps: This teaches your nervous system that it’s possible to move between discomfort and ease without getting stuck in shutdown. It builds flexibility, which, over time, expands your capacity to stay with yourself.
4. Embodied Movement
Put on music and let your body move in whatever way feels good. No mirrors. No expectations. Just notice what your body wants, whether it’s swaying, stretching, or stillness.
👉 Why it helps: When movement becomes about sensation instead of performance, your body gets to express instead of protect. It’s a powerful way to reconnect with aliveness, joy, and freedom in your body.
5. Boundary Setting for Body Image Triggers
Notice what pulls you out of your body or makes you feel like you’re not enough. It might be certain social media accounts, mirrors in specific lighting, conversations about diets, or even particular environments. Give yourself permission to step back or set limits.
Unfollow, mute, take space, or say “not right now.” You’re not avoiding, you’re protecting your capacity to heal.
👉 Why it helps: Your nervous system can’t heal in a constant state of comparison or threat. Setting boundaries with body image triggers helps create the safety your system needs to reconnect with your body from a place of care, not criticism.
Final Reflections
Healing your relationship with your body isn’t a one-time breakthrough or a quick mindset shift. It’s a slow, lived process that asks you to stay present with yourself in ways you may never have been taught.
It’s about creating safety where there’s been fear, trust where there’s been disconnect, and compassion where there’s been criticism.
You don’t have to love your body to begin healing it. You just need a willingness to turn toward it, with patience, curiosity, and care.
Your body may be holding stories that were never yours to carry. But it’s also capable of holding something new: a sense of ease, belonging, and strength.
And with time, support, and safety, you can come home to yourself again.
This Weeks Affirmations
My worth is not defined by how I look, but by how I exist and feel.
I am allowed to move at the pace of safety.
My body remembers, and my body can also relearn.
Discomfort is not danger. I can breathe and stay connected.
My body is not a problem to solve. It’s a place I can learn to tend to with care.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to heal body image and boost self-esteem, check out these books below.
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Holistic Tips for Healing Your Depression
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There’s a certain kind of heaviness that’s hard to explain.
It’s not always sadness.
It’s not always tears.
Sometimes, it’s just a sense of moving through your day with the volume turned down.
A mind full of fog and a body that feels like it’s made of stone.
As a therapist, I’ve worked with many people who’ve carried this invisible weight, often for years.
They don’t always name it as depression at first.
It might come out as “burnout,” or “being off,” or “not feeling like myself lately.”
But beneath the surface, their bodies are telling a different story.
“What I’ve come to understand through somatic therapy is that depression isn’t just a state of mind; it’s a nervous system response.”
It’s not always dramatic or obvious, but rather something that becomes a part of your day-to-day life and settles into your body.
In this blog, I want to offer another lens. A more embodied one.
A way to begin making sense of the quiet weight you might be carrying, and how your body might be asking for support.
Understanding Depression as a Whole-Body Experience
Culturally, we tend to think of depression as being very emotional.
We expect sadness, crying, and withdrawal.
And sometimes, that’s part of it.
But many of the clients I work with don’t necessarily feel sad; they feel detached.
What we often miss is that depression doesn’t always feel like pain.
Sometimes it feels like distance and disconnection.
Almost like a slow drift away from the things that once felt meaningful, until everything feels muted and out of reach.
Depression can stem from a nervous system that has been in survival mode for so long, it no longer has the energy to mobilize.
It shuts down, in a sense, and it’s not because you don’t care, but it’s because you’re drained.
This is the kind of depression I see most often.
And it’s the kind that rarely gets talked about.
What is the Body-Based Side of Depression?
When I look at depression through a body-based lens, I don’t just see a cluster of symptoms; I see a system trying to protect itself.
A body that has been overwhelmed, overextended, and over-adapted for so long that it finally had to power down.
This isn’t weakness. It’s protection.
The nervous system is always working on your behalf. When it senses that the environment isn’t safe enough for connection or expression, it enters a state of conservation.
You stop caring.
You stop reaching out.
You stop feeling.
Not because you stopped trying, but because your body did what it had to in order to keep you safe.
When we stop framing this as a personal failure and start viewing it as a physiological response, a new kind of compassion becomes possible.
How Depression Can Hide in Everyday Life
Depression often goes unnoticed, especially if you’re high-functioning, organized, or used to looking “put together” on the outside.
The symptoms blend in and are rationalized. And often, they become part of your identity.
If you grew up in a place where it wasn’t safe to share how you felt, you might have learned to bottle everything up. That kind of emotional storage can quietly turn into depression.
If you would like to learn more about how to recognize and process your emotions, check out our blog, How to Recognize & Process Emotions When You Were Never Taught How.
You may even find yourself saying things like:
“I’m just not a very emotional person.”
“I’ve always needed a lot of sleep.”
“I’m not the type to get excited about things.”
As a therapist, when I slow down with someone and we begin to explore their experience through the body and not just their thoughts, a deeper layer often emerges.
One that says: “I don’t remember the last time I felt alive.”
“I miss myself, but I don’t know how to get back.”
That’s where the work begins.
What Are The Signs of Depression?
Here are a few ways I’ve seen depression show up in clients’ lives, ways that are often overlooked or misread, especially when the body is stuck in a state of freeze:
1️⃣ Flatness in the face or voice
You may feel like it takes effort to express emotion. This is your body’s way of conserving energy, even in your facial muscles.
2️⃣ Slowness in movement or speech
Everything feels slowed down. Not because you’re tired, but because your system has hit “low power mode.”
3️⃣ Digestive issues or lack of appetite
Your body deprioritizes digestion when in a depressed state. You might forget to eat or feel full quickly. Eating becomes a task instead of a pleasure.
4️⃣ Cognitive fog or blankness
Not just forgetfulness, but moments where it feels like your brain goes offline. You stare at a wall. You may find yourself rereading the same sentence or losing time.
5️⃣ Difficulty connecting with others
It’s not that you don’t care. You might deeply want connection with others. But you may feel like there’s a wall or an invisible barrier that keeps you from reaching out or feeling close.
6️⃣ Emotional detachment
Not feeling moved by things that used to matter, like music, nature, intimacy, and spirituality. You notice the absence, but can’t bring it back.
7️⃣ Persistent internal pressure to be “better”
This one is subtle but can feel overwhelming. You might constantly shame yourself for not feeling more, doing more, trying harder, even as you struggle to get through the day.
Each of these is a signal from your system. Not a flaw to fix, but an invitation to listen.
Body-Based Tips For Managing Depression
When you're living with depression, even the idea of doing something to feel better can feel overwhelming. That’s why I don’t offer quick fixes or high-effort routines.
Instead, consider starting with small, body-informed practices that meet you where you are.
These are tools I’ve used with clients (and sometimes in my own life) to begin shifting out of the shutdown state that depression often brings. These tips are not about forcing change but rather about slowly reawakening connection, energy, and aliveness in the body.
Here are a few to try that make a difference:
1️⃣ Start by Noticing What’s Here
Instead of pushing through or distracting yourself, try gently checking in with your body.
What are you feeling in your chest, stomach, or jaw? Is there tightness, pressure, or numbness?
Even naming sensations like “I feel heavy” or “My chest feels tight” helps your nervous system begin to process rather than store what you're experiencing.
🌀 This isn’t about fixing. It’s about noticing, without judgment.
2️⃣ Create Rhythms, Not Routines
Depression often disrupts your ability to stick to structured plans, and trying to follow strict routines can trigger shame when you “fall behind.”
Instead, try creating rhythms: small, repeatable actions that support your body:
Opening a window first thing in the morning
Drinking water before coffee
Lighting a candle at night to signal rest
🌀 Rhythm regulates. Your nervous system responds to patterns more than pressure.
If you would like to learn more about how to build a gentle rhythm, check out our blog, How to Build a Daily Routine to Support Overwhelm.
3️⃣ Include Movement…but Make It Gentle
You don’t need a workout. You need movement that signals safety to your body. Try:
Rolling your shoulders slowly
Rocking side to side while seated
Dance to your favorite song, music can create different emotions for us
Even just stretching or swaying to soft music helps interrupt the freeze response that often underlies depression.
🌀 When the body starts moving, emotion and energy often follow.
4️⃣ Connect Through Sensation
Depression can flatten sensations. One way to slowly reconnect is by inviting the senses back online:
Run your hands under warm or cool water
Press your feet firmly into the ground and notice the texture under them
Hold something textured, weighted, or comforting (a stone, a cozy blanket, a warm mug)
🌀 Sensation brings you back to the present moment.
5️⃣ Give Yourself “Permission to Pause”
Instead of pushing through the fog, what happens if you actually pause and rest, without needing to earn it?
Sometimes, setting a timer for 10 minutes of intentional stillness (not scrolling, not zoning out, just being) can help your system reset.
🌀 Depression often demands rest. Giving it willingly, rather than resisting it, can feel radically different.
6️⃣ Let in a Little Bit of Support
Connection can feel like too much, but total isolation rarely helps. Try starting with low-effort ways to let support in:
Listening to a voice or song that soothes you
Sitting quietly with someone, even without talking
Reaching out to a therapist for support
🌀 Support doesn’t have to be deep to be meaningful; it just has to feel safe enough.
What is the Best Therapy for Depression?
Talk therapy can be powerful. It gives language to your experience, insight into your patterns, and support from someone who cares.
But if you’ve tried therapy before and felt like it didn’t touch the part of you that’s hurting, it’s not because you failed. It may be because the work never included your body.
“Depression isn’t only in your mind or your emotions; it can live in your body, too, but that’s something that isn’t talked about enough.”
Depression can impact how you breathe, how you sit, how you digest, and how you respond to your environment.
So it makes sense that healing also needs to include your body.
We may be biased, but this is why Somatic and Holistic Therapy is the best type of therapy for depression.
Somatic and holistic therapy offers something different:
🌱 Gentle practices to reconnect you with sensation
🌱 Nervous system education to help you understand your experience
🌱 Movement, breath, and grounding in session to support regulation
🌱 Permission to go slow and to go with your body, not against it
We’re not trying to “snap you out of it.” We’re working to bring you back into a relationship with yourself, your body, and your life.
Final THOUGHTS
If you’ve been carrying this quiet weight, I want you to know: you’re not broken.
Your symptoms are not signs of failure; they’re signs of your body’s resilience.
They’re messages from a system that has done everything it can to protect you.
Depression is not just something to treat. It’s something to tend to with presence, with curiosity, and with care.
Somatic therapy is one way of doing that.
Not by fixing you, but by helping you come home to yourself again.
If that feels like something you’re ready for, we’d be honored to support you at Life By Design Therapy™.
This Weeks Affirmations
I can begin again as many times as I need to.
My worth is not measured by my energy, output, or mood.
I am allowed to ask for help, even when I don’t have the words.
Feeling disconnected doesn’t mean I’m alone. Connection is still possible.
I am allowed to rest, even if I don’t feel like I’ve earned it.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support and heal depression, check out these books below:
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
7 Hidden Signs of Unprocessed Trauma
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t go away with more sleep.
A kind of tension that lives in your shoulders, your jaw, or your gut, without any clear reason.
Maybe you’ve tried deep breathing, journaling, even therapy, but something still feels stuck.
Unspoken.
Unresolved.
In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that trauma doesn’t always arrive with obvious signs.
Sometimes, it’s quiet.
It hides in habits we’ve normalized, like always being on edge, needing to stay busy, or finding it hard to feel anything, or finding it hard to trust others.
Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you; it’s also about what never got completed.
What your body had to hold when things felt too fast, too much, or not enough.
And when that process gets interrupted, the body stores the unfinished story, not necessarily in words, but in sensations, patterns, and protective responses.
What makes this tricky is that the signs of unprocessed trauma don’t always look like trauma.
They often get brushed off as personality quirks, burnout, anxiety, or being “too sensitive.”
But when we slow down and listen through a somatic lens, we start to understand: these symptoms are the body’s way of remembering.
Somatic or body-based work invites us to tune into the body’s cues, its sensations, movements, and patterns, as a pathway to healing.
In this post, we’ll explore the lesser-known ways trauma can show up and what your body might be trying to tell you.
What Is Unprocessed Trauma?
When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of big, obvious events like car accidents, violence, and major losses.
But trauma isn’t defined by the event itself. It’s defined by how the experience impacted your nervous system.
“Trauma happens when something overwhelms your capacity to cope, and your body doesn’t get the chance to fully process or release it. ”
It could be a single moment.
It could be something that happened over time.
It could even be something that didn’t happen, like not feeling protected, comforted, or emotionally safe when you needed it most.
When trauma goes unprocessed, it doesn’t just fade away.
It gets stored in the body, in muscle tension, in breath patterns, in how quickly you go into fight, flight, or freeze.
You might not even remember the original event, but your nervous system remembers how it felt.
From a somatic perspective, unprocessed trauma is like a loop that was never completed.
The body mobilized for action or safety, but never got the signal that the threat was over. So it stays ready. It stays alert. Or it shuts down altogether.
And the symptoms of that?
They can show up in ways that may seem unrelated, like chronic fatigue, trouble concentrating, emotional numbness, and anxiety that doesn’t respond to logic.
That’s why so many people live with trauma symptoms for years without realizing what they’re actually experiencing.
“Understanding trauma through the body, not just the mind, helps us bring compassion and clarity to what might otherwise feel confusing or shameful. ”
It’s not about what’s wrong with you.
It’s about what your body did to keep you safe… and what it’s still doing now.
The Trauma Cycle: How Unprocessed Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body
One of the most helpful shifts I see in my work is when someone realizes that trauma isn’t just about the moment something painful happened.
It’s about what happened afterward, or more specifically, what didn’t get to happen.
Our bodies are wired to respond to a threat.
When something overwhelming occurs, the nervous system kicks into gear: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
This is your body trying to protect you, and it’s incredibly intelligent.
But what many people don’t realize is that those responses are meant to be temporary.
They’re actually supposed to resolve.
You move through the threat, return to safety, and the body completes the cycle.
But trauma interrupts that.
If your body didn’t get the chance to run, fight, cry, be held, or feel safe again, and the response was interrupted, that survival energy can stay stuck in your system.
Which means the loop never closed, so your body keeps bracing for something that already happened.
So, in short, the trauma cycle is:
🔄 A threat or overwhelming experience
🔄 Activation in the nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)
🔄 No resolution or return to safety
🔄 Residual survival energy stays trapped in the body
🔄 Symptoms develop over time…physical, emotional, or relational
This is why trauma can live on for years, even when your life looks “fine” on the outside. You may not remember the event clearly, or even recognize it as trauma, but your body still responds as if it’s happening now.
Somatic therapy works by helping you gently complete that cycle.
Not by re-living the trauma, but by giving your body new experiences of safety, movement, and connection, ones that were missing before.
When that happens, something shifts. The body starts to release what it’s been holding. And you begin to feel more present, more grounded, and more you again.
Why Trauma Symptoms Often Go Unnoticed
One of the hardest parts about unprocessed trauma is how easily it hides in plain sight.
Because trauma isn’t always tied to one big moment, many people don’t realize they’ve experienced it.
Especially when the trauma was chronic, subtle, or relational.
For example, growing up in a home where you had to stay small to stay safe, or constantly being the one who held everything together.
When those patterns start early or go on for a long time, they start to feel normal.
Maybe you’ve become really good at adapting, and you learn to be hyper-aware of others’ moods.
Or maybe you keep yourself busy so you don’t have to feel what’s underneath, you shut down in conflict, or feel like rest is only okay if you’ve earned it.
Now you may be thinking, none of this screams “trauma” on the surface.
“In fact, it often gets praised…being responsible, independent, always composed. But underneath, your nervous system might still be running on survival mode.”
That’s why trauma symptoms are so often misread.
What’s really a protective response might look like burnout, anxiety, disconnection, or even a personality trait.
And because these patterns become familiar, you might not question them.
You might just think, This is how I’ve always been.
When we view these patterns through a somatic lens, we begin to understand that many of them aren’t who we are, but rather, they’re strategies the body developed to help us survive.
And once we recognize that, we can begin to meet those parts with more curiosity, compassion, and support.
7 Hidden Symptoms of Unprocessed Trauma
I’ve noticed something again and again…trauma doesn’t always show up the way people expect it to.
Sometimes it’s not panic or flashbacks.
Sometimes it’s a constant tiredness you can’t explain, or the way your shoulders never quite relax.
It’s the pressure to keep going, the discomfort with stillness, or the feeling that you have to stay on alert… even when things seem fine.
These patterns often go unnoticed because they blend into everyday life. They feel familiar.
In sessions, when I slow down with a client and we start to listen to what the body is actually saying, a different story begins to emerge.
Below are some of the more hidden ways I see unprocessed trauma show up:
1️⃣ Chronic tension or pain: This one is so common it often flies under the radar. Maybe it’s your jaw, shoulders, stomach, or chest, but it’s always there. Sometimes, people don’t even realize how much tension they’re carrying until they feel what it’s like to soften. The body doesn’t hold that tightly without a reason…it’s protecting something.
2️⃣ Fatigue that doesn’t go away: This is more than being sleepy. It’s a deep exhaustion, the kind that seeps into your bones. I often see this when someone’s system has been in survival mode for a long time, especially when in freeze mode. The body is conserving energy, but it’s not truly resting.
3️⃣ Restlessness or the inability to slow down: Have you ever felt like the moment you stop moving, it’s almost like your body doesn’t know what to do with that stillness? You may feel agitated, anxious, or even guilty when you try to rest. That’s your nervous system's way of keeping you busy as a form of protection.
4️⃣ Emotional numbness or disconnection: Sometimes, instead of feeling too much, you may feel nothing. It’s like there’s a fog between you and your own emotions. Numbness can be a survival response. The body shuts down to protect you, but it doesn’t always know when it’s okay to come back online.
5️⃣ Difficulty trusting others or asking for help: I see this a lot in high-functioning, deeply capable people. Hyper-independence can look like strength, but often it’s a response to learning that others weren’t reliable, or that vulnerability wasn’t safe. The body learns to go it alone, even when it doesn’t want to. Many times, this is from growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers. If you would like to learn more about this, check out my blog, Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors.
6️⃣Overreacting, or underreacting, to stress: This can go both ways. Maybe small things send you into a spiral, or maybe you shut down completely. Both are signs that your nervous system may be stuck in a trauma response, even when the current situation doesn’t seem threatening.
7️⃣ Overthinking and mental exhaustion: When your world hasn’t felt safe, your mind can step in to scan for danger. Overanalyzing, perfectionism, and reading between the lines are all ways the body tries to predict or prevent harm. You’re not overthinking for no reason. It’s protection.
“None of these symptoms exists in isolation, and they’re not random. They’re adaptive. They were your body’s way of helping you survive something that felt too much at the time.”
But I want you to know that when we start to understand these symptoms as messages, not flaws, we can begin responding with support, not shame.
How Somatic Therapy Helps Break the Trauma Cycle
When someone asks me what somatic therapy actually does, I often say this: it helps your body finish what it never got to complete.
So much of trauma healing isn’t about talking through what happened, especially if the story is blurry, complex, or you never felt safe to tell someone.
Somatic work meets you somewhere else: in the sensations, impulses, and protective responses that live in the body long after the event has passed.
Because trauma is stored in the nervous system, not just in memory, it doesn’t always respond to logic or insight.
You can know you’re safe now, but still feel tense, guarded, or shut down.
You might want to relax, but your body might not know how.
This is where somatic therapy becomes such a powerful tool.
It doesn’t push you to relive anything.
Instead, it helps you build awareness and relationship with your body’s cues so you can start to recognize when you're bracing, when you're disconnecting, or when you're ready to soften.
In sessions, we might work with:
🌻 Gentle movement to help release stored tension
🌻 Breathwork to support regulation (without overwhelm)
🌻 Grounding practices to help you come back to the present moment
🌻 Tracking sensations as a way to listen more closely to your body’s messages
🌻 Titration and pacing, which means going slow enough for your system to stay safe and engaged
Over time, this kind of work helps the trauma cycle complete in a new way—one that doesn’t retraumatize, but restores.
The goal isn’t to get rid of anything. It’s to help your body realize that it no longer has to keep carrying the past as if it’s still happening.
That’s where capacity grows.
That’s where safety becomes more than just a concept; it becomes a felt experience. And when that happens, the nervous system starts to recalibrate, little by little. The things that once felt impossible, like rest, connection, and ease, start to feel just a bit more reachable.
If you would like to learn more about how Somatic Therapy can be supportive, check out my blog, Choosing the Right Therapy: Why Holistic & Somatic Methods Work Best.
And if you’re feeling ready for deeper support, I know a few people who would love to walk alongside you. At Life By Design Therapy™, we’re known for our compassionate, premier care that blends holistic and somatic approaches to healing. Reach out when you’re ready!
Final Thoughts
If any part of this resonated, I want to gently remind you, your symptoms make sense.
They’re not random, and they’re not signs that something is wrong with you.
They’re signs that your body has been working hard to protect you, even long after the threat has passed.
Unprocessed trauma can weave itself into the way you move through the world without you even realizing it.
But once you start to understand how your nervous system responds to what it’s lived through, everything starts to feel a little less confusing.
A little less heavy.
There’s a way forward, and it doesn’t require you to force or fix anything about yourself.
Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before. It means building a new relationship with your body, your story, and your capacity to feel safe again.
You don’t need a perfect plan to start. You just need a bit of support, a little space to slow down, and the reminder that your body already knows the way home.
If you’re curious about somatic therapy or feel ready to explore this work together, we’d love to support you.
This Weeks Affirmations
I trust that my body holds wisdom.
Rest isn’t weakness, it’s repair.
I’m allowed to go at the pace that feels right for my nervous system.
I can listen to what my body is saying with curiosity.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means creating new experiences that remind me I’m safe now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about trauma, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity" by Nadine Burke Harris
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing By Oprah Winfrey
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Build a Daily Routine to Support Overwhelm
By Melody Wright, LMFT
“Buzzzz!” The alarm goes off. Another day begins, and you’re already counting down the hours until you can crawl back into bed.
Between work demands, rising costs, the heaviness of the news cycle, and the constant juggling of your family’s needs, your mind feels scattered, and your body is worn out.
Sound familiar?
“In the world we’re living in, overwhelm feels like it has become a baseline for the average American.”
We are under constant pressure to do more, respond faster, and hold it all together, even when it feels like too much.
We’ve gotten so used to pushing through that we’ve stopped listening to what our brain and body are trying to tell us, and then wonder why we feel so drained, disconnected, and run down.
However, overwhelm isn’t just about having too much on your plate.
It’s something your whole system feels…mentally, emotionally, and physically.
And when we slow down enough to understand what’s underneath it, we can start responding with intention instead of just coping.
Understanding Overwhelm: What is Your Body Trying to Tell You?
I used to wonder why simple things felt so hard.
Why getting through the day left me feeling drained, scattered, or numb…even when nothing “big” had happened.
What I didn’t realize then is that overwhelm isn’t just about having too much to do.
It’s what happens when my nervous system is carrying more than it has the capacity to hold.
The stress I felt wasn’t just in my mind; it was in my body, too.
I’ve learned that overwhelm can show up in a lot of different ways:
🌿 Anxiety – Your body is on high alert, anticipating what might go wrong. Your thoughts race, your breath shortens, and you can’t seem to slow down.
🌿 Depression – Everything feels heavy, even simple tasks. It’s hard to find momentum, and rest never feels quite restorative.
🌿 Unprocessed trauma – The nervous system stays stuck in patterns of protection—reacting to stress like it’s still happening, even when life is calm.
🌿 Burnout – Too many responsibilities and not enough recovery time wear down your system until you feel depleted, detached, or irritable.
What I used to see as “not trying hard enough” was really my body trying to protect me.
“Somatic therapy helped me understand that these responses weren’t weaknesses; they were messages.”
They were signals that indicated that I needed more regulation, more rest, more support.
And once I started listening to those signals instead of overriding them, I finally had space to breathe and slowly rebuild my capacity from the inside out.
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how I was able to do this.
Spoiler alert! You can keep reading to find out. 😉
Why a Somatic Daily Routine Is Key to Managing Overwhelm
Once I began to understand that my overwhelm was rooted in my nervous system, not just my schedule, I realized I didn’t need more productivity hacks.
I needed more safety.
That’s where building a somatic daily routine came in.
This is not a rigid checklist or a perfectly timed planner, but rather a rhythm in my day I could return to.
I started to learn that predictability isn’t about control, it’s about creating cues of safety.
When my days had a more gentle structure, my nervous system didn’t have to stay on high alert, scanning for what was coming next.
Even simple things, like starting my morning with the same song or ending the day with a warm cup of tea, began to feel like anchors.
Not because they solved everything, but because they gave my body something familiar to lean on.
“What made the difference wasn’t how much I got done, it was how often I slowed down enough to check in with myself.”
That’s the heart of a somatic routine.
It’s not about “doing it right.”
It’s about asking: What helps me feel grounded? What helps me feel safe enough to show up for my life with compassion?
A daily rhythm became my way of practicing care, not control.
And over time, it helped me create more space between the urgency of the world and the steadiness I was learning to build within myself.
If you’re looking for more tips to manage overwhelm and restore focus, check out my blog, 6 Ways to Restore Your Focus By Reconnecting With Yourself.
6 Key Elements of a Body-Based Routine
When I first realized I needed a new kind of daily rhythm, I was already stretched thin.
I didn’t have the energy for a complicated routine or big lifestyle changes.
What I needed were simple, supportive practices that helped my body feel safe, one small moment at a time.
Here are the elements that have made the biggest difference for me, that I now offer to clients who are also learning how to care for their own nervous system.
Start With Grounding, Not Scrolling
For so long, I started my day by checking my phone, messages, news, and social media, and I didn’t realize how quickly that pulled my system into overdrive.
Now, I try to start the morning by grounding first. That might look like:
✔️ Placing a hand on my chest and one on my belly as I breathe
✔️ Gently stretching or swaying before getting out of bed
✔️ Looking around the room and naming what I see (a somatic practice called orienting)
These simple actions tell my nervous system to settle by reminding my body that the day can start with safety, not urgency.
Anchor Your Day With Regulation Breaks
Throughout the day, I build in small moments to pause and check in. I used to push through until I crashed. Now, I try to notice my body before it hits that wall.
A few practices I return to:
✔️ A 3-minute body scan to gently notice where I’m holding tension
✔️ A hand-over-heart pause between tasks
✔️ Looking outside and breathing deeply
These small breaks help my body reset. They remind me I don’t have to stay in survival mode just to keep going.
Move Your Body in Gentle, Consistent Ways
For a long time, I thought movement had to be intense to count. But when I was overwhelmed, those expectations made me freeze.
Somatic movement gave me a new way in. I started moving not to “burn calories,” but to release tension and reconnect with my body.
Some of my favorites:
✔️ Swaying side to side while standing or sitting
✔️ Shaking out my hands or legs to discharge built-up stress
✔️ Going for slow walks without a destination
This kind of movement tells my nervous system: you’re allowed to feel, and you’re safe to move through it.
Prioritize Safety Cues in Your Environment
What surrounds me matters more than I used to realize.
Personally, my body responds to light, sound, texture, and especially clutter.
So I started creating small areas of sensory safety wherever I could, including:
✔️ Soft lighting instead of harsh overhead lights
✔️ Music that calms or comforts me
✔️ Cozy blankets, warm tea, or grounding scents like lavender
✔️ Spaces that feel familiar and welcoming
Even when the outside world feels unpredictable, these little cues help my nervous system remember: I’m okay.
Include Transitions for Emotional Decompression
One of the biggest shifts for me was learning to honor transitions.
Instead of jumping from one role to the next like work, parenting, caretaking, and cleaning, I started giving myself time to shift.
A few practices that help:
✔️ Washing my hands as a symbolic “reset”
✔️ Changing into comfy clothes at the end of the workday
✔️ Taking five minutes to breathe in silence before dinner
✔️ Giving myself permission to release or shake off stress when I move from “doing” to “resting”
These rituals give my system space to release what it’s been holding, and prepare for what’s next without rushing.
End the Day With Co-Regulation or Self-Soothing
At the end of the day, I try to give my body what it’s really asking for, and that can look different every day.
So a part of this end-of-the-day ritual starts with allowing myself to tune in to what I’m needing.
Some evenings, I journal to let my thoughts out. Other nights, I’ll meditate or drink my favorite tea. Other times, I just sit in the quiet and feel the rhythm of my breath.
Sometimes, simply sitting with someone, without needing to say anything, can be enough.
These nighttime rituals help me shift out of “doing mode” and into rest-and-digest, the state where my body can finally exhale.
I often see clients make beautiful progress with their daily rhythms, only to hit a wall they can’t quite name. The overwhelm doesn’t go away, it just shifts.
That’s when we start to look beneath the surface.
Signs Your Overwhelm Is Coming From Trauma, Not Just Stress
Daily rhythms can be incredibly supportive, but for some, they aren’t the whole picture.
Even with grounding practices, nervous system check-ins, and gentle routines in place, sometimes it can still feel like you’re barely keeping your head above water.
And it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s often because the overwhelm you're experiencing isn’t just about today. It’s about what your body has been holding for far longer than a single day’s stress can explain.
In my work with clients, I’ve noticed that chronic or persistent overwhelm often points to deeper, unresolved needs within the nervous system.
Here are a few patterns I see again and again:
1️⃣ Unprocessed trauma –When the body isn’t able to fully process an experience, it doesn’t just disappear; it often shows up later as patterns like shutdown, hypervigilance, or a persistent sense of unease.
2️⃣ Lack of co-regulation – Many people have gone through life without ever truly feeling emotionally safe with others. Over time, their nervous system adapts, learning to stay alert, self-contained, and always prepared, often at the cost of deep exhaustion.
3️⃣ Emotional suppression or perfectionism – Whether it’s a belief that you have to be “the strong one” or a tendency to downplay your needs, these survival strategies create enormous inner pressure over time. Many times, this stems from growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers. If you would like to learn more about this, check out my blog, How Growing Up with Emotionally Unavailable Parents Still Affects You and How to Heal.
When these patterns are in place, even a well-structured routine can only go so far. The body needs more than strategies; it needs repair, safety, and connection.
This is where somatic therapy can be so powerful.
Instead of trying to think or talk your way out of overwhelm, when you work with a Somatic Therapist, you work slowly, with the body. Together, you can build the capacity to feel what’s been held back, to rewire survival patterns, and to create a sense of grounded safety from the inside out.
“For many of my clients, this isn’t just about managing stress; it’s about reclaiming access to peace, rest, and emotional presence they didn’t even realize they were missing.”
Because sometimes, overwhelm isn’t something you can organize your way out of.
It’s something that asks to be listened to, held, and healed.
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this, it’s this:
You don’t need to get it all right. You just need to feel safe enough to begin.
The goal isn’t to fix yourself, and it’s not to force structure onto an already stressed-out system.
It’s to offer your body moments of relief, rhythm, and reassurance throughout the day, so you can slowly rebuild capacity from the inside out.
Your routine doesn’t have to be impressive. It just has to be supportive.
That might mean starting the morning with three deep breaths instead of your phone, or pausing for one minute between tasks to feel your feet on the floor.
These moments add up.
They send quiet signals to your nervous system.
Because the more safety we feel, the more capacity we have to care for ourselves, to show up for others, and to meet life’s challenges with steadiness and grace.
You don’t need a perfect routine.
You need a rhythm that honors your humanity, holds your nervous system with care, and gives you space to just be. 💙
This Weeks Affirmations
I don’t have to push through; I can pause and care for myself.
It’s okay to need rest, routine, and regulation.
I am learning to listen to what my body needs.
I don’t need a perfect routine, just one that feels grounding.
I can offer myself gentleness, even when things feel heavy.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support stress and overwhelm, check out these books below:
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Use Affirmations to Build Self-Worth
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I often see people come into sessions feeling defeated by their own inner dialogue.
They’ve tried to shift it by trying positive affirmations, but the words don’t seem to land.
If you’ve ever said an affirmation like, “I am enough,” only to feel discomfort, disbelief, or even shame in response, there are so many people who feel the same way.
However, I want you to know that you’re not doing it wrong.
The response you feel can be deeply informative.
It tells you something about your nervous system and how it’s been shaped by past experiences.
“Your self-worth isn’t just a mindset. It’s a lived experience in the body”
When your nervous system has learned to be hypervigilant, shut down, or stuck in survival mode, it’s not concerned with worthiness. It’s focused on protection. This means that trying to think your way into self-worth with affirmations can feel jarring, even threatening, if your body doesn’t yet feel safe.
As a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that healing isn’t just about thinking differently; it’s about feeling safer and more connected in your body.
Affirmations are just one piece, but when paired with nervous system awareness and gentle regulation, they can help us start to rewire those deeply held beliefs.
Are Affirmations a Form of Shadow Work?
In many ways, yes.
Shadow work is about meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve exiled, whether out of shame, fear, or protection.
Affirmations often reveal those shadows.
When you say, “I am worthy,” and a voice inside says, “That’s not true,” you’ve just found a part of yourself that still needs healing.
That discomfort isn’t a sign to stop.
The process of practicing affirmations can reveal the parts of us that still hold doubt or pain.
They bring up the wounded parts, the protectors, the stories we’ve internalized.
In this way, they can surface the unconscious, just like shadow work does.
The key is to stay curious and compassionate toward whatever arises in response.
When you bump up against a block, it’s not a dead end. It’s your nervous system’s way of saying, “There’s something here that still needs care.”
What Are Common Blocks to Practicing Affirmations?
A block might show up as a tight chest, a sinking feeling in your stomach, or an inner voice that scoffs.
It might be rooted in early relationships where love had to be earned, or times when hope was followed by hurt.
Whatever form it takes, a block is usually your body’s attempt to protect you from perceived threat, even if that threat is something as simple as believing you're enough.
If affirmations bring up discomfort, that’s okay.
That discomfort is a messenger.
Take a moment to slow down and ask, “Which part of me doesn’t believe this yet? What does it need?”
Some other common things you might experience are:
🌻 Feeling fake or silly
🌻 Shame or grief surfacing
🌻 A sense of misalignment because the affirmations don’t match your lived experience
🌻 Fear around believing good things might lead to disappointment
But...how do you start this journey? You’ll find out by the end of this blog! 😉
4 Ways to Make Affirmations More Effective and Meaningful
Affirmations don’t work just because we repeat them over and over; they work when our body feels grounded enough to receive them.
When your nervous system feels overwhelmed or shut down, even the most well-meaning affirmation can bounce off.
But when you feel steady, calm, and connected, there’s more space for those words to take root.
Here’s what helps:
1️⃣ Regulation comes first: Start affirmations when you feel relatively calm. Or use regulating tools (breath, grounding, gentle movement) to create that calm as you speak them.
2️⃣ Keep them believable: An affirmation like "I’m learning how to feel safe in my body" may land better than "I love everything about myself."
3️⃣ Use the body as a bridge: Place a hand on your heart or belly, soften your jaw, or sway gently. This signals to your system that it’s okay to receive new input.
4️⃣ Say them in a place that feels safe: Repetition matters, but so does the context. Try affirmations in places that feel warm and supportive.
Once your body feels supported and safe enough to take in the words, the next step is allowing those affirmations to move from something you say… to something you start to believe.
How To Start Believing Your Affirmations
You try to affirm something good about yourself… but there’s that part of you that pulls back.
It’s hard when the words feel so far from your truth.
That space in between, between saying it and actually believing it, is where the real work begins.
Making that shift from saying the words to truly feeling them takes:
🌻 Nervous system safety
🌻 Time and repetition
🌻 Curiosity about what’s in the way
“We’re not trying to overwrite your history; we’re creating space for new stories to emerge.”
Think of affirmations as seeds.
If the soil is still frozen by fear or trauma, nothing can grow.
But if we warm the soil with regulation and care, those seeds (even tiny ones like “I’m not broken”) can begin to take root.
How Can You Start Your Affirmation Journey?
Your affirmation practice doesn’t have to be loud or polished.
In fact, the gentlest openings are often the most transformative.
If the idea of affirmations feels overwhelming, start by noticing your internal response.
What arises in your body when you say something kind to yourself? Is there tightening, resistance, or a feeling of emptiness?
These are all clues that your nervous system is communicating with you.
The goal isn’t to push past the discomfort but to stay with it just long enough to offer warmth.
Small, compassionate truths are powerful. Try starting with:
“It’s okay to go slow.”
“I’m learning to listen to myself.”
“I’m open to the idea that I might be worthy.”
“I’m doing the best I can with what I know.”
And if some days the words feel unfamiliar or a little out of reach, that’s okay. Letting them feel awkward, clunky, or new is still a beautiful place to begin.
Final Thoughts
Affirmations are not about ignoring pain or pretending to be okay.
They’re about creating new possibilities through repetition, regulation, and relationship.
As a somatic therapist, I’ve seen how powerful this work can be when we bring the body along for the journey.
You deserve to feel safe.
You deserve to feel worthy.
Let’s give your nervous system the conditions it needs to believe that.❤️
This Weeks Affirmations
I am learning to feel safe in my body.
Safety is a feeling I’m growing into.
I can hold space for who I am and who I’m becoming
I can move at the pace my body needs.
I don’t have to earn my worth; I already have it.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to build your self-worth, check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
6 Ways to Return to the Present When Your Mind Won’t Stay Put
By Melody Wright, LMFT
When it’s hard to focus, it’s easy to blame things like too much screen time, not enough willpower, or falling behind on another productivity hack.
But struggling to focus usually isn’t about a lack of discipline; it could be your body or mind trying to tell you something.
Sometimes we push past those signals without even realizing it.
We distract ourselves because sitting with what we’re really feeling can be uncomfortable.
Distraction isn’t a bad habit; it can actually be a way our system protects us from feeling overwhelmed.
You might notice your attention slipping when there’s something underneath the surface that hasn’t had space to be felt. And the more we ignore that, the harder it is to stay present.
But when we pause and notice what’s really going on inside, it becomes easier to come back to the present moment.
Regaining focus is possible, you just need to learn how to build awareness around your patterns. And that starts with paying attention to what’s happening within.
Instead of jumping straight into strategies, it’s worth taking a moment to look at what’s actually pulling your focus away in the first place.
Understanding the Root of Distraction
Distraction May Be a Symptom of Unseen Stress and Disregulation
Distraction is frequently misunderstood as laziness or a lack of motivation.
It’s easy to overlook or misunderstand, but sometimes what looks like distraction or shutdown is really the nervous system’s way of saying, “This feels like too much.”
Sometimes the overwhelm is obvious, like when you're under pressure or juggling too many demands.
Other times, it can be the subtle emotions that linger, an unresolved tension in the background, or the result of pushing through for too long without rest.
Before jumping into another productivity hack or forcing yourself to push through, try asking:
✔️Has my body had time to rest lately?
✔️ Is something I’m avoiding trying to surface?
✔️ What emotions or sensations have I been brushing past?
These aren’t questions to answer quickly, they’re invitations to slow down and get curious about what’s happening beneath the surface.
We Often Override the Signals Meant to Guide Us
Many of us have learned to push through discomfort.
We override the tightness in our chest, the racing thoughts, or the fatigue behind our eyes.
We reach for caffeine, open another tab, or power through our to-do list, believing that more effort will bring clarity.
But what if:
That stomach ache may be anxiety.
That foggy head could be stress, grief, or unmet needs.
That impulse to scroll might be your system asking for a pause… not more pressure.
Overriding these signals creates a loop: the more we ignore, the louder the body speaks, often through distraction, discomfort, or shutdown.
Reconnection begins with permission:
✔️Permission to slow down
✔️Permission to feel what’s there
✔️Permission to respond instead of override
Once we begin listening to these signals with curiosity instead of judgment, we can start using supportive tools that help us stay grounded and present.
6 Coping Skills That Support Focus Through the Body and Nervous System
So, what can you do to actually refocus when your mind is scattered and your body’s feeling off?
Here are a few body-based strategies to try:
1. Let Your Body Give You Feedback
When focus fades, returning to your body can help you understand why. The body has a way of picking up on things before the mind does.
You might notice your shoulders are tight, your jaw is clenched, or your breath is shallow.
These signals matter.
Somatic Tip: The next time you feel your attention starts to shift, try:
✔️ Pause and place a hand on your chest or belly
✔️ Ask, “What am I feeling physically right now?
✔️ Notice without needing to change anything
Even a brief pause to check in can interrupt the cycle of distraction and create space to refocus with more intention.
2. Use Grounding Practices to Come Back to the Moment
Being present doesn’t always come naturally, especially in overstimulating or emotionally charged environments.
Grounding practices can give your body and brain the cues they need to settle into the moment.
Somatic Tip: If your mind keeps drifting or your body feels tense, try these grounding tools to bring yourself back to the present moment.
✔️ Feel your feet: Press them into the floor. Shift your weight side to side.
✔️ Orient visually: Look around the room. Name five things you see.
✔️ Breathe rhythmically: Inhale for four counts, exhale for six. Repeat gently.
These aren't tools for forcing yourself to concentrate, they’re ways to support your body so it can come back to the task at hand more easily.
3. Help Your Nervous System Feel Safe
The ability to focus depends on whether your nervous system feels safe, not just in your environment, but inside your body.
When there’s a sense of internal threat or unrest, focus often gives way to survival-based responses like hypervigilance, avoidance, or shutdown.
This internal threat can simply be uncomfortable emotions being avoided, or stress from having too much on your plate.
You might notice this when:
✔️ You feel scattered, no matter how much you care about the task
✔️ You start something and instantly want to do something else
✔️ Your body is buzzing with energy, but you're too drained to focus
Somatic Tip: When your nervous system is feeling overwhelmed, try small, soothing movements that communicate safety to your body:
✔️ Swaying slowly side to side or rocking forward and back
✔️ Using gentle pressure on your arms and legs, or wrap yourself in a blanket
✔️ Stepping outside for fresh air and a reset
Small physical shifts like these can help your system settle, and focus often returns when there’s a sense of safety.
4. Work With Your Natural Rhythms
Strict routines can backfire when you're already running on low capacity.
Instead of holding yourself to rigid expectations, try working within your natural rhythms, your energy cycles, emotional waves, and the signals your body sends throughout the day.
Somatic Tip: Notice when your energy naturally rises and dips throughout the day. Then experiment with flexible structures that work with your body, not against it:
✔️ Focus sprints: Work for 25–45 minutes, then take a break
✔️ Anchor points: Use small rituals like making your favorite cup of tea, stretching, or soft lighting to begin or end focus periods
✔️ Energy mapping: Track when you feel most alert or calm during the day and schedule tasks accordingly
This approach treats focus as something to support, not something to control. It makes room for rest and presence to exist side by side, so you can recharge without completely checking out.
5. Gently Bring Your Attention Back When It Wanders
Distraction is part of being human.
The goal isn’t to eliminate it, but rather to become aware that it’s happening and give yourself compassion when it does.
When your mind wanders, try responding with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
Somatic Tip: When you catch your mind wandering, take a breath and gently guide it back, without judgment. Try saying to yourself:
✔️ “It’s okay. Let’s come back to this.”
✔️ “I can start again from right here.”
✔️ “Distraction is normal. I’m still showing up.”
Focus becomes more sustainable when it feels safe to return, again and again.
6. Use Your Senses to Support Focus
Sensory input can help the body orient and settle.
Consider creating small sensory rituals that signal to your system, “This is a time for focus.”
Somatic Tip: Choose one or two sensory rituals to help signal to your body that it’s time to settle in:
✔️ Scent: Use essential oils like rosemary, citrus, or cedarwood
✔️ Sound: Play instrumental or ambient nature sounds
✔️ Touch: Keep a smooth stone, soft fabric, or grounding object nearby
✔️ Taste: Sip something warm and calming before you begin
These simple cues offer familiarity and comfort, which can reduce resistance and help your body ease into focus.
Final Thoughts
Focus isn’t just a mental task, it’s a full-body experience.
It’s shaped by how we listen to ourselves, how we respond to our needs, and how we treat the parts of us asking to be noticed.
When distraction shows up, it’s not always a sign to push harder. Sometimes it’s a quiet signal from within, asking for a moment of care.
The invitation isn’t to force more effort. It’s to pause. To feel. To respond instead of override. And to return, to yourself over and over again.
This Weeks Affirmations
It’s safe for me to slow down and listen to what I need.
Focus grows when I feel safe, supported, and seen by myself.
I honor what’s present, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I can meet myself with patience, even when my mind wanders.
I don’t have to push through—I can pause and respond.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about ways to support focus, presence, and nervous system awareness, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation by Deb Dana
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—And How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Heal Miscommunication in Your Relationship and Rekindle ConnectioN
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, your partner just doesn’t get you?
Maybe you’ve explained yourself over and over again, hoping that this time they’ll finally understand.
But instead, you’re met with blank stares, defensiveness, or silence.
You start to wonder: Am I asking for too much? Am I just hard to love?
Let me stop you right there…
You're not too much.
You're not crazy.
And you’re definitely not alone.
Feeling misunderstood in a relationship can be one of the most painful, lonely experiences, and it’s also one of the most common.
As a couples therapist, I see this dynamic all the time.
Not because couples don’t love or care for one another, but because miscommunication, especially when fueled by underlying fears or attachment wounds, creates a wall between people who are desperately trying to connect.
So, let’s talk about what’s really happening when you and your partner keep missing each other.
Differences in Attachment Styles
Attachment theory gives us a compassionate, research-based lens to understand why we seek connection the way we do, and why it can feel so painful when that connection breaks down.
It all starts with our early experiences.
The way we learned to get comfort, support, and love from our caregivers becomes the emotional blueprint we carry into adult relationships.
And whether we’re aware of it or not, those early lessons still shape how we express needs, respond to conflict, and feel secure with a partner.
If you're unfamiliar with attachment theory, most people fall into one of four main attachment styles:
Secure Attachment: You’re generally comfortable with closeness and trust. You can ask for support and offer it in return.
Anxious Attachment: You deeply crave connection, but fear abandonment. You might seek reassurance or feel especially sensitive to signs of distance.
Avoidant Attachment: You value independence and may feel overwhelmed or smothered by emotional closeness. You might shut down when things get intense.
Disorganized Attachment: You want closeness, but fear it too. Your past experiences may have made love feel both desirable and unsafe, leading to push-pull dynamics.
Now, these labels aren't to put you in a box, but rather help explain your experience.
They’re patterns you picked up early on to help you feel safe and connected with your caregivers.
With the right support, self-reflection, and safe relationships, those patterns can change over time.
And when two people with unhealed attachment needs are in a relationship, misunderstandings aren’t just likely…they’re almost inevitable.
But that doesn’t mean they’re unfixable.
While attachment styles often shape how we show up in relationships, they also play out through everyday patterns, especially in how we communicate.
Top communication Patterns That Lead to Miscommunication
Miscommunication doesn’t always mean you’re incompatible; it often just means you’re carrying different attachment needs, expectations, or fears into the conversation.
Let’s break down some common patterns couples fall into, and explore what might be going on underneath the surface.
The Fixer vs. The Feeler
Have you ever shared your stress with your partner, only to hear, “Just do XYZ!” when what you really needed was, “That sounds really hard”?
When one person responds to stress by jumping into problem-solving mode and the other needs empathy and emotional presence first, it can feel like you're speaking two different emotional languages.
The “fixer” often seeks resolution as a way to feel grounded and useful, while the “feeler” is looking for connection, validation, and co-regulation before moving into solutions.
Neither is wrong.
These are simply different ways of coping and connecting.
But without understanding those differences, both partners can end up feeling unseen or frustrated.
What’s really happening here is a common misattunement: one partner is trying to regulate the situation, while the other is trying to regulate the emotion.
When those efforts don’t match, the moment of connection can be missed, even with the best intentions.
Defensive Listening vs. Active Listening
If your partner brings up something that hurt them and your first instinct is to say, “Well, you do that too!”, that’s a classic example of defensive listening.
Defensive listening is when we hear our partner through a filter of blame or threat, even if they’re just trying to share how they feel. It usually comes from a place of fear. Fear of being the bad one, of not being enough, or of being misunderstood.
On the other hand, active listening is about staying present and really trying to understand where the other person is coming from, even if it’s hard to hear.
That might sound like, “Can you tell me more about what that was like for you?” or “I want to get it, can you help me understand?”
It’s a shift from reacting to relating.
From protecting ourselves to being open.
And that shift into curiosity is often where real connection starts.
One Reaches and the Other Pulls Away
In many relationships, there’s a common dynamic where one partner leans in during conflict, talking more, asking questions, seeking reassurance, while the other pulls away, shuts down, or becomes silent.
It can look like one person “pushing” for connection and the other “checking out,” but underneath, there is usually something deeper.
One partner, maybe, is reaching out because they’re feeling anxious or disconnected, but instead of being transparent about what is happening inside of them, they may criticize, blame, or degrade their partner.
While this may look and feel like an attack, they are really seeking closeness, reassurance, or connection.
Meanwhile, the other partner might pull away or shut down, not because they don’t care, but possibly because strong emotions feel scary, they're prone to avoiding conflict, or their system shuts down because it all feels too overwhelming.
Both are trying to protect the relationship in their own way, but they end up missing each other.
While noticing the pattern is a big first step, shifting it isn’t always as simple as changing how you communicate.
Because what’s really happening underneath is often tied to your attachment styles, and that runs deeper than just communication.
That’s why it can feel so hard, even when you both want to do better.
This is where couples therapy can make a big difference.
It gives you a space to slow down, understand each other on a deeper level, and learn how to show up in a way that actually feels safe and connecting.
So, Why Does Feeling Misunderstood Hurt So Much?
Feeling misunderstood goes beyond just frustration; it affects your emotional safety and connection with your partner.
When we feel like our thoughts and feelings aren’t being heard or validated, it triggers a sense of disconnection.
Emotional safety is key in relationships.
When you feel safe with your partner, you can open up, be vulnerable, and share freely.
But when you don’t feel heard, your nervous system can interpret it as a threat, which can make you feel more distant, anxious, or even defensive.
You might respond by withdrawing, escalating the argument, or trying to explain yourself even more.
But these reactions aren’t signs that you're being "too much", they're natural responses to emotional pain and frustration.
The real issue is often the lack of clear communication between partners.
It makes sense that it hurts so much.
When you're not feeling understood by your partner, it doesn’t just mess with the conversation, it can mess with your sense of safety and closeness.
And over time, that can really wear on the connection.
But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay that way.
There is a way to move from feeling stuck and unheard to feeling reconnected and emotionally in sync again.
Outside of couples therapy, here are a few small shifts that can make a big difference.
The Shift from Misunderstood to Reconnected
Feeling seen in your relationship doesn’t require a complete overhaul. Often, it starts with a few small, intentional shifts:
Validate Before You Solve: “That makes sense” can be more powerful than “Here’s what to do.”
Get Curious, Not Critical: Questions create safety; accusations create distance.
Reflect on the Moment: Ask to revisit a hard conversation when you’re both calm and connected.
Speak From Experience, Not Accusation: “I felt…” invites empathy; “You always…” invites defense.
Pause Before You React: When you're feeling defensive or triggered try to notice the impulse and take a breath. If you can’t access empathy or curiosity in that moment, it's okay to ask for space.
Now, making that shift sounds great in theory, but what if you feel like the only one doing the work?
It’s incredibly discouraging when you’re showing up, trying to communicate better, trying to reconnect… and your partner doesn’t seem to meet you halfway.
That stuck, lonely feeling?
It’s real, and it can make you question whether the effort is even worth it.
So what do you do when it feels like you’re trying, and they’re not?
What to Do When Your Partner Isn’t Trying
It’s tough when you’re putting in the effort to understand your partner, but they’re not reciprocating.
Maybe you’re reading the books, having the hard conversations, showing up differently, and still, it feels like you’re the only one trying.
That kind of imbalance can feel incredibly lonely and exhausting.
It might even make you start questioning your own needs or wondering if you’re expecting too much.
Let me assure you, you’re not.
Wanting mutual effort, emotional availability, and a sense of partnership is not asking for too much; it’s asking for a relationship that feels safe and connected.
With that said, you can’t control how or when your partner grows.
But you can take care of yourself while you’re being patient with the process.
In these moments, it’s important to focus on what’s within your control, not to “settle,” but to stay grounded in your own clarity and emotional well-being.
Here’s how:
Regulate Yourself First
The way you communicate when you’re upset matters. Try to stay calm and express your feelings without attacking your partner. This creates a safer environment for honest communication.Set Boundaries Around Harmful Communication
If your partner is being disrespectful or dismissive, it’s okay to set boundaries. For example, “I’m open to talking when we can both speak respectfully.” Setting boundaries is a crucial part of maintaining emotional safety.Invite, Don’t Force
Sometimes, it takes a little more time for your partner to be open to reconnection. Instead of forcing a conversation, invite them into it by saying, “I’d like to talk about what happened tomorrow when we've had some time to cool off." This approach helps take the pressure off.
Now, there are some situations, no matter how much you try or how gently you invite your partner into the conversation, things just don’t change.
That doesn’t always mean the relationship is beyond repair.
But it might mean you need outside support to get unstuck.
Let’s talk about how to recognize when it’s time to stop doing it all on your own and how couples therapy can help bridge the gap between you and your partner.
When It Might Be Time For Couples Therapy
If you find yourself stuck in the same patterns of miscommunication with no resolution, it might be time to get help.
Here are 4 signs that couples therapy could be a beneficial step:
The Same Arguments Keep Happening: If you’re rehashing the same issues without any resolution, therapy can provide fresh insights into what’s really going on underneath.
Communication Feels Unsafe or One-Sided: When you feel emotionally unsafe or unheard, it’s hard to build a connection. A therapist can help facilitate these conversations in a safe space.
Emotional Distance Turns into Resentment: Unresolved misunderstandings often lead to resentment. A therapist can help you break the cycle before it deepens the divide.
When You Want to Repair the Disconnect: When both of you feel the distance but still want to find your way back to each other, that says a lot about the strength of your relationship. Disconnection can be painful and lonely, even when you’re right next to each other. But reaching out for support isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign that the relationship matters to you both and that you’re willing to do the work to repair and reconnect.
Final Thoughts
Being misunderstood in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re doomed; it simply means there’s room for growth in how you communicate.
The key is making small changes that help both partners feel heard and understood.
Effective communication isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being willing to listen, validate, and reconnect.
You deserve to feel seen, valued, and understood in your relationship.
By using these strategies, you can begin the process of emotional reconnection and move towards a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.
This Weeks Affirmations
My needs are valid, even if others don’t always understand them.
I can’t control my partner’s response, but I can honor my own truth.
It’s safe for me to set boundaries that protect my peace.
I trust myself to recognize when something isn’t working.
I deserve to feel seen, heard, and understood in my relationship.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about relationships and communication, check out these books below:
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Reconnect When You and Your Partner Feel Like Strangers
By Melody Wright, LMFT
It didn’t happen all at once.
One day, you’re staying up late talking about everything and nothing, and the next, it feels like all you ever talk about is the calendar, the kids, and what’s for dinner.
You still care about each other, but the emotional intimacy? The passion? The feeling of being seen?
That all feels far away now.
If you're sitting with the ache of feeling disconnected from your partner, like you're more like roommates than lovers, I understand.
As a couples therapist, I see this so often.
And while it may feel confusing or hopeless, this shift is more common and more repairable than you think.
Let’s talk about how couples get here, and more importantly, how you can begin to find your way back.
Understanding The Emotional Disconnect in Your Relationship
Before you can find your way back to each other, you’ll need to have an understanding of how the emotional distance began.
This is not about blame, it’s about understanding the forces that may have slowly and subtly pulled you apart.
Here are a few key things to keep in mind as you begin your journey to rebuild connection in your relationship.
You’ve Been Turning Away Instead of Toward Each Other
If you’ve noticed that either you or your partner has started investing more energy outside the relationship, this could be a sign of growing disconnect.
Does it feel like work, parenting, a new hobby, social media, or helping a struggling family member has taken up more of your attention lately?
Maybe one of you has even started turning toward someone else emotionally or physically.
When this happens, it’s easy for the romantic connection to slowly fade.
Over time, the relationship can start to feel like something is missing, like you’re coexisting more than truly connecting.
You Don’t Know How to Reconnect After Conflict
Think back to the last few arguments or tense moments you’ve had.
Have either of you found yourselves avoiding follow-up conversations, brushing past hurt feelings, or letting things go just to keep the peace?
If so, it may be a clue that something is quietly pulling you apart.
When conflicts go unresolved or uncomfortable feelings are left unspoken, they don’t just disappear.
Instead, they quietly build up.
You might start holding things in, not because you don’t care, but because you’re tired, hurt, or afraid of making things worse.
Over time, that silence can start to feel like loneliness.
You may notice yourself wondering if you’re still truly seen or heard in the relationship.
Little by little, an invisible wall can begin to form between you.
Restoring emotional intimacy often begins with the two of you working together to learn how to approach conflict gently and repair with care.
You’re Great Partners in Life, But the Romance is Gone
Take a moment to look at the day-to-day flow between you.
Have you both fallen into a rhythm where most of your energy goes into managing bills, carpooling, housework, or running errands?
Are you and your partner doing a good job running the household well, but noticing that tenderness, affection, or emotional connection has taken a back seat?
If so, it could be a sign that your relationship is starting to feel more like a business partnership than a romantic one.
By the end of the day, you’re likely both exhausted, sometimes just trying to get through the next task or survive the day.
What’s important to remember is that connection doesn’t sustain itself without care and attention.
Over time, many couples realize they’ve slipped into “roommate mode” — surviving together, but no longer truly connecting.
Mental Health Challenges Have Taken a Toll
Take a moment to consider whether either of you has been navigating anxiety, depression, grief, or another emotional challenge lately.
Managing those struggles, whether your own or your partner’s, can take up a lot of your energy, leaving less space for connection.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in caretaker mode, pouring your energy into supporting your partner and trying to hold everything together.
Or maybe you’re the one who’s been feeling overwhelmed, emotionally depleted, and unsure how to reach out.
Both roles can be heavy in different ways.
When one or both of you is running on empty, it’s easy for the connection to slip quietly out of reach, not because there’s a lack of love, but because there’s simply not much left to give.
This is where individual support can make a real difference. Therapy isn’t just about “fixing” problems; it’s about creating space to tend to your own emotional health, so you can show up more fully in your relationship.
So… What Can You Do To Reconnect?
Unfortunately, there’s no quick fix to repair, reconnect, and rediscover the love and intimacy you once shared.
The distance between you didn’t happen overnight, and rebuilding your connection will take intention, self-reflection, and steady effort.
Emotional reconnection doesn’t require you to have it all together; it only requires you to be intentional.
Reconnection happens through small, consistent choices.
It starts by gently turning toward your partner in everyday moments, even when your time and energy feel stretched thin.
The key is to prioritize connection in ways that feel meaningful to both of you, even in the little things.
Here are 3 ways you can start the journey of prioritizing your relationship again…
Step 1: Reflect and Identify the Disconnect
Before you can reconnect, get curious about what caused the drift in the first place.
Ask yourself:
When did things start to feel different? (This helps you identify a timeline and when the disconnect started.)
What changed in our lives? Our routines? Or maybe how we interact? (This helps you reflect on what started the change.)
What needs do I feel are going unmet, and have I sought to fulfill them in other ways? (This helps you understand where your emotional energy is going and whether you’re giving yourself the care and attention you truly need.)
Have I been avoiding certain conversations or feelings? (This helps you connect with what you’ve been avoiding or uncomfortable truths you may have a hard time sitting with)
If you're up for it, gently invite your partner into this reflection too.
You don’t need to solve it all in one conversation.
You can open the door to conversation by saying something like, “I’ve been thinking about how I miss us. I wonder if you’ve been feeling that too?”.
Step 2: Start Turning Toward Each Other
Connection is built through small moments. Here are a few actionable ways to start showing up for each other again:
Look up from your phone when your partner talks. Make eye contact. Show you're listening.
Leave a note. A post-it on the bathroom mirror or in their bag that says “thinking of you” goes further than you’d think.
Sit together without screens. Even 10 minutes after the kids go to bed or as you’re getting ready to turn in for the night, checking in and asking “How was your day, really?” can deepen the connection.
Touch more. A hug that lasts longer than three seconds. A hand on their back while they cook. Physical connection can be a bridge to emotional intimacy.
Plan something to look forward to. A date night, a morning walk, even a weekend away if possible. Anticipation can bring back a sense of closeness.
These small gestures may seem simple, but they can make a big difference over time. It’s the little things that help rebuild closeness and remind both of you that you’re still a team, even through the busy or tough moments.
Step 3: Remember What You Did in the Beginning
Think back to when you first met:
Did you check in during the day?
Did you light up when they walked into a room?
Did you ask questions because you genuinely wanted to know how they were?
You don’t need to recreate everything from the past, but remembering what came naturally back then could help reignite those habits now, when done with intention and purpose.
What if Mental Health is Affecting Your Relationship?
If one or both of you are navigating mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, or more severe diagnoses, it’s important to know this can deeply affect how you show up in your relationship.
Not because either of you is doing something wrong, but because mental health directly impacts things like emotional availability, energy, patience, self-esteem, and even how safe or connected someone feels in a relationship.
For example, if one of you is struggling with depression, you may withdraw, lose interest in things you used to enjoy, or feel numb, even toward the person you love most.
If anxiety is present, you or your partner might feel irritable, overthink, or have a consistent need for reassurance that can feel draining over time.
If either of you is grieving, you may be emotionally consumed with the loss and simply not have much left to give.
In these cases, the partner who might not be struggling could feel invisible, rejected, or overwhelmed with the role of caretaker.
And the partner who is struggling may carry guilt or shame about how their symptoms are affecting the relationship.
All of this creates distance, often unintentionally.
The key here is to shift from blaming or fixing to compassion and understanding.
Mental health challenges don’t have to mean disconnection, it just means you may need to approach connection a little differently.
That might mean:
Getting support (individually or as a couple) so neither of you has to navigate it alone.
Adjusting expectations around emotional bandwidth, especially during hard seasons.
Communicating openly about needs without assuming your partner can read your mind.
Separating the person from the symptoms, so you can hold onto compassion and closeness even when things feel heavy.
Mental health can be a barrier to connection, yes, but it can also be a doorway to deeper intimacy, trust, and teamwork if you and your partner are willing to face it together with care, support, and openness.
If you would like to learn more about how you can support your partner through their anxiety, check out our blog, Navigating Anxiety Together: A Guide for Supporting Your Partner.
Final Thoughts
It’s okay if your relationship feels distant right now. You’re not failing.
What you’re going through is hard, and it’s a sign that something needs attention.
Relationships face real struggles, and sometimes those struggles feel overwhelming. If you’re feeling like roommates instead of partners, it’s important to know you don’t have to stay stuck.
The tips and reflections shared here are a great starting point, but they’re only part of the picture.
To truly make meaningful change, working through this disconnection takes more than small adjustments; it takes support, guidance, and the willingness to do the deep work.
Couples therapy can provide that. It’s a space where you can explore what’s keeping you both stuck, uncover emotional barriers, and find tools to rebuild trust and intimacy.
Couples therapy is for those ready to invest time, energy, and make a commitment to reconnecting and creating something even more meaningful than the relationship you had before. It’s about becoming each other’s person again, even after life has tested you.
You can learn more about couples therapy in our blog, How Couples Therapy Strengthens Relationships.
We’re here to help you take that next step. If you’re ready to invest in your relationship and start the work of rebuilding, we’d love to support you.
P.S. We’re excited about offering even more tools in the future!
This Weeks Affirmations
It’s okay that we’ve struggled; what matters is that we’re still choosing each other.
We are not defined by our past disconnection, we are shaped by how we show up now.
Every conversation is a chance to grow closer.
I choose to turn toward my partner, even in the small moments.
We are allowed to grow and reconnect at our own pace.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about relationships and understanding your partner, check out these books below:
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
5 Steps to Regain a Sense of Control in Unpredictable Times
By Melody Wright, LMFT
If you’re anything like me, you know what it feels like to wake up and immediately feel the weight of the world pressing down.
The uncertainty, the unpredictability…it can make even the simplest decisions feel overwhelming.
So many of us are carrying an undercurrent of fear and vulnerability, whether it’s about personal rights, financial stability, or the overall state of the world.
And while these feelings are valid, there are ways to work through them so they don't overwhelm us.
Understanding why fear and vulnerability show up the way they do can be empowering.
Fear is our nervous system’s way of keeping us safe.
When we sense a threat, whether real or perceived, our bodies react instinctively.
But when we’re constantly exposed to stressors, especially in a chaotic political climate, our system can stay stuck in fight, flight, or freeze mode.
This chronic activation can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and even physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues.
So, how do we navigate this?
How do we move forward without becoming overwhelmed?
The key is grounding ourselves in both emotional resilience and practical action.
Here are a few strategies to help you regain a sense of stability.
Step 1: Regulate Your Nervous System
Before tackling external stressors, it’s essential to bring your body back to a place of balance.
Try these:
Release Through Breath and Movement: Imagine yourself clenching your uncomfortable emotions or memories in your fists as you inhale. As you exhale, release your fists and imagine yourself letting go of those emotions or memories. Repeat as many times as you need.
Grounding Through Touch: Keep a grounding stone or crystal in your pocket, purse, or backpack. Run your fingers over it when you are feeling ungrounded. Notice the texture—the smoothness, the rough edges, the temperature of the stone. Focus on how it feels in your hand, using it as an anchor to bring you back to the present moment. This simple practice can serve as a tangible reminder of stability in moments of stress.
Temperature Tools for Grounding and Regulation: Using temperature shifts can be a powerful way to support nervous system regulation. Cool or warm sensations can help signal your body to slow down and find a sense of calm. You might try splashing cool water on your face, running cool water over your wrists, or holding an ice cube in your hand. You can also lean into warmth, like taking a short, relaxing bath, enjoying a warm cup of tea or coffee, or soaking your feet in warm water. Experiment with different temperatures and methods to discover what feels most grounding and supportive for you.
Step 2: Set Boundaries with News & Social Media
While staying informed is important, constant exposure to distressing news can heighten anxiety and leave you feeling powerless. The key is to find a balance that keeps you aware without overwhelming your nervous system. Consider:
Setting Clear News Consumption Boundaries: Designate specific times for checking news updates instead of consuming them throughout the day. Limiting exposure can help reduce stress and allow you to stay present.
Filtering and Choosing Your Information Sources Wisely: Follow journalists and media outlets that focus on constructive or solutions-based reporting. This can help to shift your perspective from feelings of helplessness to awareness and action.
Taking Intentional Social Media Breaks: When content becomes overwhelming, step away. Engage in offline activities like reading, journaling, or spending time in nature to restore a sense of calm.
Engaging Mindfully with Information: Instead of passively absorbing negative news, ask yourself, "Is there an action I can take based on this information?" If not, give yourself permission to disengage.
Step 3: Anchor Yourself in Community
Fear thrives in isolation, making challenges feel even more overwhelming.
However, connection reminds us that we are not alone and that collective support can be a source of strength and resilience.
Surrounding yourself with a community, whether big or small, can create a buffer against fear and uncertainty.
Here are a few ways to build community:
Seek Out Supportive Groups: Join local or online support groups related to issues that matter to you. Sharing experiences with like-minded individuals can offer validation and new perspectives.
Engage in Meaningful Community Events: Attend events that foster real conversations, collective problem-solving, and mutual encouragement. Participating in activities like town halls, book clubs, or advocacy groups can help you feel more engaged and empowered.
Find Safe Processing Spaces: Whether it’s a therapist, a close friend, or a grassroots organization, having a place to process your emotions is crucial. Speaking your fears aloud to a trusted person can lessen their hold and help you feel more supported.
Be the Support You Seek: Sometimes, offering support to others, whether through active listening, small acts of kindness, or simply being present, can create a reciprocal sense of connection and purpose.
Step 4: Take Action In A Way That Empowers You
Fear often stems from feeling powerless, and when we feel like we have no control over our circumstances, it can be paralyzing. However, even small actions can create a ripple effect, reinforcing a sense of agency and purpose.
Advocate for What Aligns With Your Values: Whether through volunteering, donating, or community organizing, channeling your energy into meaningful causes can be empowering. Even spreading awareness within your network can contribute to change.
Educate Yourself and Stay Informed: Understanding policies and upcoming elections helps you make informed decisions. Knowledge is power, and staying engaged with reliable sources enables you to take action that aligns with your values.
Make a Difference in Your Immediate Community: Large-scale change can feel daunting, but focusing on your immediate community makes a tangible impact. Supporting local businesses, assisting neighbors, helping at food banks, or attending town halls fosters a sense of connection and purpose.
Use Your Voice: Whether through signing petitions, writing to representatives, or speaking up in discussions, expressing your beliefs can contribute to larger societal shifts. Even small contributions to dialogue can create momentum toward change.
Create Change in Everyday Interactions: Acts of kindness, listening with empathy, and uplifting others in your daily life may seem minor, but they contribute to a collective sense of hope and resilience.
Taking action reminds us that we are not powerless.
Even the smallest steps can build momentum toward meaningful change and provide a sense of control amidst uncertainty.
Step 5: Reclaim Your Sense of Safety
For those feeling particularly vulnerable, whether due to personal rights, finances, or social unrest, taking proactive steps can provide security and a greater sense of stability in uncertain times.
Build Financial Resilience: If financial instability is a concern, start by creating a budget that prioritizes essentials. Even setting aside small amounts for an emergency fund can create a buffer against unexpected expenses and reduce financial stress over time. Look into local resources, grants, or assistance programs that may provide support.
Know Your Rights and Protections: If personal rights feel threatened, take the time to research legal protections that apply to your situation. Understanding your rights at work, in your community, or in legal matters can help you feel more empowered. Keep a list of resources, such as legal aid organizations or advocacy groups, that you can turn to if needed.
Create a Personalized Safety and Support Plan: Identify people you trust who can offer emotional and practical support in times of need. Whether it’s a friend, therapist, or community group, knowing who you can reach out to can make a significant difference. Also, developing self-care practices that help you feel secure, whether that means establishing daily routines, having a safe place to retreat to, or setting up contingency plans for unexpected situations.
Taking these steps won’t eliminate all uncertainty, but they can provide a greater sense of control and reassurance as you navigate challenging times.
Final Thoughts
I want to remind you that you are not alone in these feelings, and you are not without power.
While uncertainty can feel overwhelming, small, intentional steps can help you regain a sense of control and resilience.
By grounding yourself, setting boundaries, connecting with others, and taking purposeful action, you can cultivate a sense of stability even in challenging times.
Fear and vulnerability might still come up, but they don’t have to dictate your life.
You are capable of navigating this at your own pace, with the support and tools that feel right for you.
If you need guidance in processing these emotions or creating a plan for uncertainty, Life By Design Therapy™ is here to help.
Our therapists provide a compassionate space to explore your fears and develop strategies that foster emotional strength and security. CLICK HERE to book your free no-obligation phone consultation.
This Weeks Affirmations
I choose to focus on what I can control and release what I cannot.
I give myself permission to set boundaries that protect my well-being.
I trust myself to navigate challenges with courage and self-compassion.
Fear does not control me. I am grounded, present, and resilient.
I allow myself to feel my emotions without being consumed by them.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about navigating fear, vulnerability & anxiety around world issues check out these books below:
It's Time to Talk (and Listen) by Anatasia S. Kim and Alicia del Prado
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
Radical Uncertainty: Decision-Making Beyond the Numbers by John Kay & Mervyn King
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt
The Art of Uncertainty: How to Live in the Mystery of Life and Love It by Dennis Merritt Jones
Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance by Jonathan Fields
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Emotional Neglect: What It Is, How It Affects You, and How to Heal
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever felt like something was missing in your relationships, but you couldn’t quite name it?
Maybe you’ve struggled with feelings of emptiness, disconnection, or loneliness without understanding why.
If this resonates with you, you may have experienced some form of emotional neglect.
Emotional neglect is often invisible.
It’s not a single event, a dramatic betrayal, or a clear-cut trauma that others can see.
Instead, it’s the absence of something crucial like validation, attunement, and emotional support.
If you’ve ever felt unseen, unheard, or like your emotions didn’t matter, you’re not alone.
And more importantly, your experiences matter.
You may not have a specific memory of being emotionally neglected, and that’s part of what makes it so difficult to recognize.
Emotional neglect is defined by what doesn’t happen, the lack of emotional presence, support, and validation that every person needs to thrive.
So, what exactly is emotional neglect, and how does it impact those who experience it?
Let’s talk about it.
What Is Emotional Neglect?
Emotional neglect can be hard to recognize, especially because it’s not always about what did happen, but about what didn’t.
It shows up when the people who were supposed to be there for you, like parents, caregivers, or even partners, consistently miss, dismiss, or simply don’t notice your emotional needs.
Over time, that quiet absence can send a loud and painful message: Your feelings don’t matter.
Even when there’s no obvious harm or bad intentions, the impact can run deep.
You might struggle to connect with your emotions, put everyone else’s needs before your own, or walk around with this sense that something’s missing, but not know why.
These are signs that you may have experienced emotional neglect.
And the truth is, it’s more common than you might think.
Because it’s often unintentional and invisible, emotional neglect can go unnoticed for years, even by the person experiencing it.
A parent may believe they’re doing their best, but be emotionally unavailable because of stress, mental health challenges, or their own unresolved trauma.
In the same way, a partner might not realize they’re tuning out your emotional world or leaving you feeling alone in the relationship.
Recognizing emotional neglect for what it is doesn’t mean placing blame; it means beginning to understand your story in a new, more compassionate way.
What are the Forms of Emotional Neglect?
Emotional neglect isn’t always obvious, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone.
In fact, some forms of it may surprise you.
Here are some common ways emotional neglect can show up, sometimes in ways we don’t even realize
Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): Growing up in an environment where emotions were dismissed, ignored, or invalidated. This may have looked like being told “you’re too sensitive” or “stop crying,” or being expected to handle your emotions alone.
Parental Absence (Physical or Emotional): This can look like having a caregiver who was physically present but emotionally distant or unresponsive. When your emotional world wasn’t acknowledged or supported, you may have learned, consciously or not, that there wasn’t space for your feelings. As a result, you might struggle to identify or express emotions, or feel unsure about whether your feelings are valid or safe to share.
Romantic Relationships: Feeling unseen or unheard in a partnership, where your emotional needs are consistently dismissed or minimized.
Friendships and Social Circles: Being the person who listens and supports others but rarely receives the same emotional investment in return, creating a one-sided relationship.
Workplace and Professional Settings: Feeling undervalued, unsupported, or unseen in professional environments, leading to burnout, dissatisfaction, and feelings of inadequacy.
Recognizing the different ways emotional neglect can appear in our lives is the first step toward understanding its deeper impact.
Did you know that emotional neglect can rewire the way we respond to stress, interact with others, and even how our bodies function in times of stress?
How Does Emotional Neglect Affect Your Brain and Body?
Emotional neglect doesn’t just impact how you feel, it can affect your brain and nervous system, too.
When emotional needs go unmet over time, the body may adapt by staying in a heightened state of alert.
This can look like chronic stress, where your nervous system is stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, even when there’s no immediate danger.
These early experiences can shape the way you respond to the world well into adulthood.
Here are six ways emotional neglect can show up in your life:
Impact on the Nervous System: The lack of consistent emotional support disrupts the nervous system’s ability to regulate itself, making it harder for you to manage stress and emotions. Without this support, the nervous system stays stuck in a heightened state of alertness or shuts down to cope, which can cause chronic anxiety or emotional numbness over time.
Attachment and Relationship Patterns: Emotional neglect in childhood can lead to insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment. This can make it challenging to form and maintain healthy relationships, because you may struggle with trust, and emotional intimacy, or have a fear of being abandoned.
Difficulty Processing Emotions: When your emotions are consistently ignored or dismissed, it can become difficult to understand or express how you feel. This might lead you to push your emotions down and ignore them, or, on the other hand, feel overwhelmed when unprocessed emotions surface in unexpected and intense ways.
Heightened Stress Response: When emotional needs are not met consistently, the body can remain stuck in a heightened state of stress. This may show up as feeling constantly on edge, struggling to relax, or being easily overwhelmed by emotions or situations that feel unpredictable.
Physical Health Consequences: Chronic emotional neglect has been linked to increased stress-related illnesses, such as headaches, digestive issues, sleep disturbances, and even muscle tension or pain.
Impact on Self-Perception: Over time, emotional neglect can shape your internal dialogue, reinforcing feelings of unworthiness or self-doubt. Many people who experience emotional neglect often struggle with impostor syndrome, perfectionism, or a fear of failure.
As you can see, not only does emotional neglect affect your physical self, it also impacts your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Let’s talk about how this can impact your everyday life.
How Does Emotional Neglect Affect Your Everyday Life?
Emotional neglect doesn’t just fade with time, it can shape the way you see yourself and navigate the world.
If you've ever questioned why certain emotional struggles persist, it may be connected to the ways emotional neglect has shaped your experiences.
Here are 5 ways it might be affecting you:
Difficulty Identifying or Expressing Emotions: You might struggle to know what you’re feeling, or believe your emotions don’t matter. This can lead to emotional disconnection, where you feel numb, detached, or unable to put your feelings into words.
People-Pleasing Tendencies: Growing up without emotional validation can condition you to prioritize others’ needs as a way to feel valued or accepted while ignoring your own. This could lead you to feel responsible for others’ emotions or find it difficult to say no. If you would like to learn more about healing from people pleasing, check out my blog, Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors.
Fear of Vulnerability: If emotions were dismissed in the past, expressing them may feel unsafe or shameful. You might avoid deep conversations, struggle with emotional intimacy, or feel like you always need to be “strong.”
Chronic Loneliness: Even in relationships, you may feel isolated or unseen because you weren’t taught how to expect or accept emotional support. This can lead to feelings of disconnection, even in social settings.
Low Self-Worth: When your emotions were overlooked, you may have internalized the message that you are not important. This can manifest as self-doubt, difficulty advocating for yourself, or feeling unworthy of love and support.
Understanding these impacts is crucial because they influence how you navigate relationships, manage stress, and even perceive yourself.
But emotional neglect doesn't have to define your future, there are ways to heal and reclaim your emotional well-being.
How Do You Heal from Emotional Neglect?
Moving forward from emotional neglect begins with recognizing that your emotional needs are valid and worthy of attention.
While past experiences may have influenced your patterns, they do not define your ability to heal and build healthier connections.
Here are some steps toward healing:
Get Curious About Your Story: One of the first steps toward healing is becoming curious about your early experiences. Take some time to reflect on your upbringing. Were your caregivers emotionally present? Did they help you understand and make space for your feelings, especially when they felt big or overwhelming? You don’t have to have all the answers right away, and you don’t need to label it as emotional neglect. Exploring how your emotional needs were handled growing up can help you better understand the patterns that show up in your life now.
Enhance Your Emotional Vocabulary: Expanding your ability to name and understand emotions can help you reconnect with yourself. Reading about emotions, practicing mindfulness, and using emotion wheels can deepen your emotional awareness. When you can accurately label your emotions, it becomes easier to process them and communicate them to others. To learn more about how to expand your emotional vocabulary, check out my blog, 5 Ways to Build a Strong Emotional Vocabulary & Why It Matters.
Build Emotional Awareness: Practicing self-reflection, mindfulness, and journaling can help you tune into your emotions. Over time, this practice can strengthen your ability to recognize and respond to your emotional needs rather than suppressing them.
Set Boundaries: Learning to recognize and communicate your emotional needs is essential. Setting boundaries with those who drain your energy or dismiss your feelings allows you to create space for relationships that nurture and respect you.
Seek Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who listen, validate, and care about your emotional experiences. Supportive relationships can help rewire the way you engage with others and allow you to experience emotional safety.
Consider Therapy: A therapist trained in attachment-based or somatic healing approaches can help you process past emotional neglect, build emotional resilience, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Final Thoughts
If any of this resonates with you, know that your emotions matter, and you deserve relationships that nurture and validate you.
Emotional neglect may have shaped parts of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your future.
Healing is not only possible, it’s something you deserve.
By acknowledging your needs, seeking support, and making space for emotional connection, you can begin to rewrite your narrative with compassion and self-awareness.
This Weeks Affirmations
It is safe for me to set boundaries that protect my well-being.
I am not defined by my past experiences. I am free to create a new path.
I give myself permission to feel, process, and heal at my own pace.
I am growing, evolving, and learning to trust myself.
My emotions are valid, and I deserve to express them.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about emotional neglect check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller
The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Therapy That Actually Works: How Holistic & Somatic Therapy Goes Deeper
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I know what it’s like to feel stuck.
To want change so badly but feel like nothing is working.
Maybe you’ve tried therapy before, hoping it would help you break free from anxiety, trauma, or emotional pain.
Maybe you’ve spent months, or even years, talking about your struggles, understanding your triggers, and working through your past.
But despite all of that effort, you still don’t feel better.
You don’t want to waste time in therapy that just scratches the surface, you want real healing.
If any of this resonates, you’ve come to the right place.
The truth is, traditional talk therapy can be helpful, but for many people, it doesn’t go deep enough.
That’s because healing isn’t just about talking, it’s about working with your unique nervous system, and your emotions in a way that creates lasting change.
That’s exactly what holistic and somatic therapy offers.
Why Traditional Talk Therapy Often Falls Short
If you’ve ever walked out of a therapy session feeling like you just vented for an hour but didn’t actually shift anything, you know how frustrating it can be.
Talk therapy focuses primarily on thoughts and behaviors, which can help you understand your struggles, but understanding alone doesn’t always create change.
You may end up feeling:
Emotionally stuck – You know why you feel the way you do, but the pain doesn’t go away.
Disconnected from your body – You experience stress, anxiety, or trauma physically, but therapy didn’t address the root cause that actually led to real change and growth.
Frustrated by looping conversations – You talk about the same issues over and over, but nothing really changes.
Triggered and dysregulated – No matter how much insight you gain, your body still reacts in ways you can’t control.
You may experience these things because trauma, anxiety, and emotional wounds don’t just live in your mind, they are stored in your nervous system and body.
If therapy only addresses your thoughts and behaviors, it’s missing half the picture.
If You’ve Tried Talk Therapy But Still Feel Stuck…
You’re not broken and you’re not failing therapy.
The truth is, some therapy models aren’t designed to fully heal underlying trauma, anxiety, and deep emotional pain.
Let’s say you’ve experienced something painful in the past, maybe childhood neglect, a toxic relationship, or a traumatic event.
Even if you’ve processed it in therapy, your body might still be holding onto the experience.
Your nervous system learned to stay in fight-or-flight mode.
Your body reacts to triggers before your mind can catch up.
Your emotions feel overwhelming or completely shut down.
You feel disconnected or numb when emotional triggers rise, almost like you’re frozen.
This is why just talking about it isn’t enough.
You need an approach that helps your body and nervous system process and release what’s been stuck for years.
If You’re Just Starting Therapy, Here’s Why You Should Choose Somatic & Holistic Therapy First
Maybe you’re new to therapy, and you’re wondering:
Will therapy actually help me?
What’s the best approach for deep healing?
How do I know if I’m choosing the right kind of therapy?
The reality is that many people start therapy with high hopes, only to feel disappointed when they don’t experience real change.
Or they might feel better for a while, only to find that the issues they thought they had moved past resurface again.
By starting with somatic and holistic therapy, you can finally do deeper inner work with a therapist who understands healing on the mind, body, and spirit levels.
Rather than feeling stuck or disconnected, you’ll have the support to get to the root of your struggles, break old patterns, and create real, lasting change.
What Makes Holistic and Somatic Therapy So Effective?
Unlike traditional therapy, which focuses mainly on thoughts and behaviors, holistic and somatic therapy treats you as a whole person - mind, body, and spirit.
While every holistic and somatic therapist has their own approach, here’s what this kind of therapy typically looks like:
Mind-Body Connection – You’ll learn how to tune into your body’s signals, release stored emotions, and restore balance from within.
Real-Time Healing – Instead of just gaining insight, you’ll practice techniques that create immediate shifts in how you feel in the present moment.
Nervous System Regulation – Anxiety, trauma, and stress get wired into your body. This approach teaches you how to physically shift out of survival mode and into a state of calm.
Spiritual Alignment – Healing isn’t just psychological; it’s also about reconnecting with what gives you meaning, purpose, and a sense of wholeness, whether that’s through mindfulness, nature, creativity, a higher power, or something deeply personal to you.
Breaking the Cycle – If you’ve felt stuck in an endless loop of self-analysis, somatic therapy can help you uncover what’s beneath the surface and create lasting change.
This isn’t just about managing symptoms, it’s about deep transformation.
Why Where You Choose To Do Therapy Matters
Where you receive therapy is just as important as the type of therapy you choose. Many people feel frustrated with therapy—not because it doesn’t work, but because the system itself can make it harder to heal.
Large, corporate, and insurance-based therapy practices often prioritize efficiency, which can sometimes lead to:
Limited sessions based on insurance policies rather than actual need
High caseloads that make personalized care difficult
A feeling of being just another number rather than a person with unique needs
While not every large practice operates this way, these systemic challenges can make it harder to receive the deep, transformative care you deserve.
Here at Life By Design Therapy™, we do things differently. We offer:
Personalized care – You aren’t rushed through sessions or treated like just another client. Your healing journey is at the center of our work.
More freedom & flexibility – Since we don’t rely on insurance to dictate care, we can focus on what’s actually effective for you.
A deeper connection with your therapist – Healing happens in relationships, and we ensure that you have the time and space to feel truly supported.
A holistic approach – We integrate the body, mind, and nervous system to create lasting healing rather than just addressing surface-level symptoms.
When you’re working through something as deep as trauma, anxiety, or emotional pain, you deserve a space where you are truly seen, heard, and supported.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’ve tried therapy before and felt stuck, or you’re just beginning your journey, one thing is clear, you don’t have to keep struggling and you don’t have to stay in survival mode.
There is a way to heal that doesn’t just focus on talking, analyzing, or managing symptoms.
It’s about truly transforming how you feel in your body and in your life.
Holistic and somatic therapy are not just alternatives; they are the pathways that create deep, lasting change, and allow you to design the life you desire.
If you’re ready to experience the healing that works and work with a premier therapy center,
This Weeks Affirmations
I am not broken; my body and nervous system are simply seeking safety and balance.
I honor my body’s wisdom and trust that healing happens in layers.
I no longer have to just manage my symptoms, I am capable of true transformation.
I am worthy of a therapy experience where I feel truly seen, heard, and supported.
Healing is not just in my mind, it’s in my body, and I am learning to release and restore.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about mind-body healing check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation by Deb Dana
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain by Dr. John E. Sarno
Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine by Candace Pert
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Deal With Anxiety When the World Feels Like It’s Too Much
By Melody Wright, LMFT
I don’t know about you, but lately, it feels like the weight of the world is heavier than usual.
When checking the news, there’s something new to process, another shift, another crisis, another reason to feel uncertain about what’s ahead.
Maybe you feel it too.
Even when you step away, the heaviness lingers, making it hard to fully relax, hard to focus, hard to feel at ease.
That underlying tension in your body, the restless thoughts that make it difficult to unwind.
The constant push and pull between wanting to stay informed and needing a break.
Or maybe you’ve found yourself withdrawing, not because you don’t care, but because it’s all starting to feel like too much.
If so, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it.
The world feels overwhelming right now, and your feelings make sense.
Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty, and when there’s so much we can’t control, it’s easy to feel unsteady.
But while we may not be able to change everything happening around us, we can find ways to support ourselves through it.
In this post, I want to offer you some reassurance, some understanding, and some practical ways to ease the weight you’re carrying.
Let’s take a deep breath and explore this together.
Why Anxiety Feels So Heavy Right Now
Anxiety thrives in uncertainty.
When things feel unpredictable, our nervous systems work overtime, trying to make sense of what’s happening and how to stay safe.
Right now, so much feels up in the air.
There are political changes, global events, and the ripple effects they may have on our daily lives.
It’s not just the big, obvious stressors, it’s the accumulation of everything, the constant hum of "what’s next?" in the background of our daily lives.
There are so many layers to this, and it’s no wonder it feels heavy. Let’s take a closer look at what’s adding to the weight.
1. There’s a lot we can’t control
Uncertainty can feel unsettling, especially when it comes to big issues like leadership changes, policies that affect our rights, or economic instability.
When we don’t know what’s coming next, our brains stay on high alert, trying to prepare for every possible outcome.
2. Constant exposure to difficult news
It’s never been easier to stay connected to what’s happening in the world.
With 24-hour news cycles and social media updates at our fingertips, we’re absorbing an overwhelming amount of information, often before we’ve had a chance to process the last thing we read.
This keeps our nervous systems in a state of stress, even when we’re trying to go about our day.
3. Compassion Fatigue & Emotional Overload
Caring deeply about what’s happening in the world is a beautiful thing.
But when we feel like we have to stay engaged all the time, it can start to feel exhausting.
The expectation to constantly be aware, informed, and active can make it difficult to step back and care for ourselves without guilt.
4. A Sense of Powerlessness
When the challenges feel bigger than us, it’s easy to feel like nothing we do will make a difference.
That feeling of helplessness can turn into anxiety, frustration, or even numbness, making it hard to know how to move forward.
If you’ve found yourself thinking, Why am I feeling this way? Or is it just me?, please know that you’re not alone.
Your nervous system is responding exactly as it’s meant to when things feel uncertain.
You are not overreacting.
You are not “too sensitive.”
Your body and mind are simply trying to navigate a world that feels unpredictable.
But while anxiety is a normal response, it doesn’t have to be your constant state.
There are ways to ease the tension, to find steadiness, and to take care of yourself without shutting down completely.
How to Support Yourself Through Anxiety
1. Start with Your Nervous System
Before trying to think your way out of anxiety, your body needs to feel safe. Small, simple practices can help.
Grounding exercises: When anxiety takes over, it often pulls us into the future, worrying about what might happen, replaying worst-case scenarios, or feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty.
Grounding exercises help bring you back to the present moment by reconnecting you to your body.
Example: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Practice progressive muscle relaxation: choose a muscle group (such as your hands or legs) and tense those muscles for a few seconds.
Hold the tension, paying attention to how it feels.
Then, release the muscles and notice the contrast between the tension and the rest that follows. Feel how your body softens and relaxes as the stress melts away.
Repeat this process with other muscle groups, such as your shoulders, stomach, or feet, until you feel more grounded and relaxed.
The process helps create awareness of how physical tension feels, and by releasing it, you create a sense of calm and ease.
This practice can be especially helpful for people who hold stress in their bodies and need a tangible way to release that physical tension.
Breathwork: When we feel anxious, our breathing naturally becomes shallow and fast. This signals to the brain that something is wrong, reinforcing the stress response.
Breathwork is a way to interrupt this cycle and bring us back to a state of rest.
Example: The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
This is a simple but effective way to calm your body:
Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds.
Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.
Repeating this for just a few minutes can lower stress levels, reduce racing thoughts, and help you feel more in control.
Also please know that if the full 4-7-8 count feels difficult, you can adjust the timing. What matters most is slowing down your breath and extending the exhale, which signals to the brain that it’s safe to unwind.
Movement: Anxiety doesn’t just live in the mind, it shows up in the body too. Tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, restlessness, and stomach discomfort can all be physical signs that stress is being stored.
Movement helps release that pent-up energy and signals to your nervous system that it can shift out of fight-or-flight mode.
Example: Shaking Exercise for Stress Release
This may sound unusual, but shaking out your body, just like animals do after a stressful event, can be a simple way to discharge nervous energy.
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and let your arms hang loosely at your sides.
Start by gently shaking your hands, then your arms, letting the movement travel up through your shoulders.
Allow your whole body to join in, lightly bouncing on your toes, shaking out your legs, and even letting your head move.
Continue for 30 seconds to a minute, then take a deep breath and notice how your body feels.
This type of movement helps “reset” the nervous system, releasing excess tension and leaving you feeling calmer.
If shaking doesn’t feel right, gentle stretching, a short walk, or even rolling your shoulders can have a similar effect.
2. Set Gentle Boundaries with News & Social Media
Staying informed is important, especially when so much is happening in the world.
But there’s a difference between staying informed and being constantly immersed in distressing news.
The more we expose ourselves to a nonstop flow of upsetting headlines, the harder it becomes for our nervous system to regulate, leading to heightened anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and even a sense of hopelessness.
Setting boundaries with news and social media isn’t about ignoring reality, it’s about protecting your mental and emotional well-being so you can stay engaged without burning out.
Here are some practical ways to set these boundaries…
Checking the news at set times instead of throughout the day: Instead of letting news updates flood your entire day, try scheduling specific times to check reliable sources. For example, you might choose to check in once in the morning and once in the evening, rather than refreshing your feed constantly.
Unfollowing accounts that spike panic rather than provide thoughtful information: Ask yourself: Does this account or news source help me stay informed in a way that feels balanced, or does it send me into a spiral of fear and distress? If it’s the latter, it’s okay to mute or unfollow. You can still stay aware of important issues without consuming content that is designed to provoke panic.
Giving yourself permission to take breaks without feeling guilty: It’s okay to log off. It’s okay to turn off notifications. It’s okay to take a full day (or more) away from the news cycle. The world will still be there when you return, and taking time to reset your nervous system will help you engage in a healthier, more sustainable way.
3. Focus on What You Can Control
Feeling completely powerless can be paralyzing.
But when we take even small actions that align with our values, we remind ourselves that we do have influence over our own lives, our communities, and the way we show up in the world.
This shift in perspective can ease anxiety and bring a sense of stability, even in uncertain times.
Identify small, meaningful actions you can take: You don’t have to change the world overnight, but small steps matter. Ask yourself:
Can I support a cause I care about by donating, volunteering, or spreading awareness?
Are there conversations I can have with friends or family to bring awareness to an issue?
Can I make choices in my daily life (where I shop, who I support, how I spend my time) that align with my values?
Redirect your energy toward what feels grounding and meaningful: If you find yourself stuck in an anxiety spiral about things beyond your control, try gently shifting your focus to something tangible:
Engaging in hobbies that bring a sense of accomplishment (gardening, cooking, writing, etc.)
Spending time with loved ones and nurturing personal connections.
Setting small, achievable goals that bring a sense of progress.
Create daily habits that support emotional stability: Routines can provide a sense of normalcy in chaotic times. Ask yourself:
What habits help me feel my best—mentally, physically, or emotionally?
Can I create a morning or evening routine that brings comfort and structure?
Are there small rituals (journaling, meditation, reading) that help me feel more in control of my own experience?
By focusing on what is within our reach, we shift from helplessness to empowerment, allowing us to show up in the world with more clarity and resilience.
4. Make Room for Joy and Rest
Anxiety tells us that we have to be on high alert all the time and that if we relax, we might miss something important or fail to prepare for the worst.
But here’s the truth, constantly being on edge doesn’t make the world any safer.
It only drains our energy, making it harder to think clearly, take action, or find peace.
Joy, connection, and rest are not distractions.
They are essential for resilience.
By intentionally making space for joy and rest, you’re not ignoring your responsibilities, you’re replenishing your capacity to handle them.
Here are a few simple ways to invite more ease and balance into your day:
Step outside and take a deep breath of fresh air: Even a few minutes in nature, whether it’s a park, your backyard, or simply standing outside, can have a calming effect on the nervous system.
Listen to music that soothes or uplifts you: Music has a direct impact on our mood. Create a playlist of songs that bring you comfort, peace, or energy, depending on what you need at the moment.
Spend time with people who make you feel safe and supported: Connection is a powerful antidote to anxiety. Whether it’s a quick call, a heartfelt conversation, or simply sitting in the presence of a loved one, human connection can bring a sense of grounding and warmth.
Engage in something creative, even if it’s just doodling for a few minutes: Creativity shifts the brain out of stress mode and into a state of flow. Whether it’s painting, writing, playing an instrument, or cooking a new recipe, engaging in creativity can bring a sense of calm and enjoyment.
Joy doesn’t have to be big or extravagant.
Even small moments of peace can be enough to remind you that life still holds good things.
5. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Sharing your struggles with others can help lighten the emotional burden and, sometimes, just knowing someone else understands can be enough to take the edge off the anxiety.
Here are some ways to seek support…
Talk to a trusted friend or family member: Sometimes, saying our worries out loud helps us process them more clearly. Find someone who listens without judgment and reminds you that you’re not alone.
Consider therapy or support groups: If anxiety feels overwhelming, therapy can be a valuable space to explore what’s coming up for you and develop tools to manage it. Support groups, whether online or in person, can also be a great way to connect with others experiencing similar struggles. Reach out today to take the next step toward support and healing.
Engage in online communities that feel supportive, not draining:
The internet can be a double-edged sword. While some spaces increase anxiety, others can provide comfort, encouragement, and resources. Find communities that help you feel understood and empowered rather than overwhelmed.
Final Thoughts
The world is a lot to hold right now, and if you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally exhausted, please know you are not alone.
Your feelings make sense.
You care deeply, and that’s a beautiful thing.
But remember you don’t have to carry everything on your own.
It’s okay to step back when you need to.
It’s okay to take care of yourself.
It’s okay to find peace, even when the world feels chaotic.
You are doing the best you can, and that is enough.
If you’re looking for expert support, Life By Design Therapy™ is here for you. As a top-rated therapy center, we provide personalized, holistic care to help you navigate anxiety and reclaim a sense of peace. Book a free phone consultation today and take the first step toward lasting relief. CLICK HERE to get started!
This Weeks Affirmations
I focus on what is within my control and release what is not.
I am resilient, and I will get through this.
My feelings are valid, and I am allowed to feel them without judgment.
I can stay informed without sacrificing my peace.
It’s okay to take a break; rest is not the same as giving up.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about anxiety and navigating world issues check out these books below:
It's Time to Talk (and Listen) by Anatasia S. Kim and Alicia del Prado
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
Radical Uncertainty: Decision-Making Beyond the Numbers by John Kay & Mervyn King
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
The Art of Uncertainty: How to Live in the Mystery of Life and Love It by Dennis Merritt Jones
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance by Jonathan Fields
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
How to Recognize and Process Emotions When You Were Never Taught How
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever felt like your emotions were speaking a language you couldn’t understand?
Or maybe you’ve spent years brushing feelings aside, unsure of how to face them.
If this resonates, you’re not alone…and guess what it’s not your fault!
For many people, myself included, understanding and processing emotions isn’t something we were taught while growing up.
But here’s the truth, it’s never too late to learn.
By learning to tune in to your internal conversation, and stay curious about what you’re feeling (without judging it) you’ll find that your emotions are there to guide you and heal you.
So if you’ve never been taught how to recognize and process emotions, this blog is for you.
In this blog, we are going to talk about ways to help you decode your emotions and equip you with the tools to navigate them with compassion and clarity.
But first….
What Are Emotions For?
Emotions are a natural and essential part of being human.
They’re your body signaling what’s happening inside you and around you.
Far from being a weakness or inconvenience, emotions are like an internal compass, guiding you toward what’s important and helping you make sense of what you’re experiencing in the world around you.
At their core, emotions are messages from your brain and body, designed to help you survive and thrive.
For example:
Fear alerts you to danger, encouraging you to protect yourself.
Anger signals that something important to you has been threatened, like your boundaries or values.
Sadness often arises from loss or unmet needs, inviting you to slow down and reflect.
Joy reminds you of what brings you happiness and fulfillment, encouraging connection and celebration.
Why Do We Have Emotions?
Emotions play a crucial role in our lives, but understanding them can feel confusing or overwhelming, especially if you’ve been taught to dismiss them.
The truth is, emotions are complex and multifaceted, serving different purposes depending on how we view them.
When you look at emotions from different perspectives, you can better understand why they’re so important and how they work to support you.
Here are a few examples:
Emotions as Survival Tools:
Emotions help us respond quickly to threats or opportunities. Fear can trigger your fight-or-flight response, keeping you safe in dangerous situations. On the other hand, joy strengthens bonds within our relations, which is beneficial for our social and emotional well-being.Emotions as Communication:
Emotions also serve as a universal language, helping us connect with others. Think about a baby crying, without words, their sadness or discomfort communicates a need. Similarly, when you’re upset, your emotions can signal that you’re needing supportEmotions as Guides to Values:
As a therapist, I often tell my clients that emotions can point you toward what matters. For example, feeling guilt might show you that your actions don’t align with your values, while pride reminds you of your accomplishments.Emotions as Energy in Motion:
Some approaches, like somatic therapy, see emotions as "energy in motion." This means emotions need to flow through you rather than be suppressed. Bottling up emotions often leads to tension, burnout, or even physical symptoms.
How to View Emotions Differently
For those of us who have been taught to suppress or ignore our emotions, or encountered emotional neglect, we tend to have a hard time connecting with our internal conversations and body sensations.
Because of this, it can leave us unsure of how to navigate what we’re experiencing on an emotional, mental, and even physical level.
If you desire to understand yourself more, explore deeper authenticity or begin a healing journey, the first step is shifting the perspective of “my emotions aren’t important”.
But how do you do that??
I’m glad you asked!
Here are a few ways to reframe your perspective of the emotions when they come up:
Curiosity Over Judgment: Instead of thinking, “Why am I feeling this way?” try asking, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?”
Messages, Not Problems: Emotions aren’t something to “fix.” They’re signals that something needs attention.
Your Body’s Language: Emotions show up physically, too, including tight shoulders with stress, and a racing heart with excitement. Paying attention to these sensations can help you decide what you’re feeling.
You can also ground yourself with affirmations to create space for your emotions when you aren’t sure what to make of them as they come up. Here are a few:
“It’s okay to feel this way.”
“My emotions are valid and meaningful.”
“This feeling will pass.”
As you begin shifting perspectives, you’ll start to rewire your brain to feelings of safety around your emotions.
**If you would like to learn more about how emotional neglect can affect you check out my blog - How Growing Up with Emotionally Unavailable Parents Still Affects You And How to Heal
Do You Suppress Your Emotions?
Have you ever felt like you don’t really know what you’re feeling?
Or maybe you find yourself going through life on autopilot, disconnected from your emotions and your body. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
It might be a sign that you’ve been suppressing your emotions.
For many, this pattern starts early.
If you grew up in an environment where emotions weren’t acknowledged, validated, or understood, you may have learned to push them down just to get by.
Suppressed emotions don’t just disappear, though. They tend to sneak out in other ways, such as:
Struggling to name what you’re feeling. You might catch yourself saying, “I don’t know how I feel,” or defaulting to vague words like “fine” or “okay.”
Feeling emotionally numb. Instead of experiencing the full range of emotions, you might feel disconnected, as though nothing really touches you deeply.
Overreacting to small triggers. Ever find yourself snapping at someone over something minor or feeling overwhelmed by what seems like a small setback? Suppressed emotions can build up until they explode in unexpected ways.
Physical symptoms with no clear cause. Unexplained headaches, muscle tension, or even stomach issues might be your body’s way of holding onto emotions you’ve buried.
Sound familiar? If so, it’s okay!
These are common signs that your emotions have been ignored or suppressed for too long.
But the good news is that recognizing these patterns is the first and most important step toward change.
You’re not alone in this, and it’s never too late to learn how to reconnect with your emotions and let them guide you in healthy, meaningful ways.
How to Begin Tuning Into Your Emotions
As your perspectives shift around emotions from unsafe to a sense of safety, you may notice that you begin to develop something called emotional awareness.
Now I want you to understand that developing emotional awareness takes time and practice, so remember to give yourself compassion as you learn.
Here are some starting points you can use to begin tuning into your emotions:
Check in with your body. Your body can hold clues about your emotional state. Tightness in your chest might indicate anxiety, a sense of heaviness could signal sadness, or a fluttering stomach might point to excitement or nervousness. Each day take a moment to scan your body from head to toe, noticing areas of tension, discomfort, or ease.
Use tools like an emotion wheel. Expanding your emotional vocabulary beyond basic labels like “happy” or “sad” can help you identify more in-depth feelings, like “overwhelmed,” “content,” or “lonely.” This deeper understanding can also help you articulate your emotions more clearly when talking to others or journaling. You might find it helpful to keep an emotion wheel handy as a visual guide.
Ask yourself simple questions. Pause during your day and ask, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What might have triggered this feeling?” These questions create space for self-awareness. If it feels difficult to pinpoint your emotions, ask yourself, “Where in my body do I feel this?” or “What does this feeling remind me of?”
Building emotional awareness doesn’t happen overnight, but even small steps, like pausing to check in with yourself, can create a powerful shift.
What Are Healthy Outlets for Emotional Processing?
Now that you’ve learned how to identify your emotions, the next step is figuring out how to process them.
Processing emotions isn’t just about “feeling better”, it’s about giving your emotions the space they need to move through you, so they don’t stay stuck or come out in unhelpful ways.
If you’ve been suppressing emotions for a long time, this can feel overwhelming or unfamiliar at first, but it’s entirely possible with practice.
Here are some strategies to help you work through your feelings in healthy, constructive ways:
Write it out: Journaling can be a game-changer when it comes to processing emotions. Grab a notebook and let your thoughts flow without judgment. Don’t worry about structure, just write whatever comes to mind. Sometimes, seeing your emotions on paper can bring clarity and relief.
Talk it out: Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can be incredibly freeing. Whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or a therapist, talking about what you’re feeling helps validate your experience and reminds you that you don’t have to face it alone.
Move your body: Physical activity is one of the most underrated tools for emotional processing. Stretching, walking, dancing, or even shaking out your arms can release pent-up tension and help your emotions flow. Think of it as giving your feelings a way to exit your body.
Get creative: Art, music, and other creative outlets are powerful ways to express emotions that words can’t capture. Whether you’re painting, writing a song, or even doodling, creativity can help you process what you’re feeling in a way that feels safe and freeing.
Why Is It Important to Reach Out for Support?
Sometimes emotions can feel overwhelming or impossible to handle on your own, and that’s completely okay.
This is where therapy can make a difference.
Working with a therapist is more than just “talking it out”; it’s a chance to develop the skills and self-awareness to truly connect with your emotions instead of pushing them away.
Therapy provides a safe and supportive space to explore feelings you might have ignored or suppressed. A therapist can help you:
Identify patterns. They can guide you in uncovering habits or beliefs that may be keeping you disconnected from your emotions.
Learn to name your emotions. Many people struggle to pinpoint exactly what they’re feeling, and therapy helps you build the emotional vocabulary to understand and express yourself.
Tune into your body. Emotions often show up physically, and therapists trained in somatic techniques can help you notice and release these sensations in healthier ways.
Develop coping tools. You’ll learn strategies to process and manage emotions without bottling them up or letting them take over.
Imagine what it would feel like to approach your emotions with curiosity instead of fear. Therapy can empower you to listen to what your emotions are telling you, and give you the confidence to navigate life with more clarity, self-compassion, and strength.
Reaching out for support is a powerful act of self-care.
Our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy™ are experts at supporting emotional processing.
Don’t wait to give yourself the tools and support you deserve, consider reaching out to us today.
Click the button below to take the first step!
Final Thoughts
Maybe no one ever showed you how to understand or process your emotions.
If that’s true, it’s not a reflection of your worth, it’s a reflection of what you weren’t given.
But the good news is it’s never too late to learn.
Learning to connect with your emotions is a journey, and like any journey, there will be moments of progress and moments that challenge you.
What matters most is showing up for yourself with kindness and patience, even on the hard days.
Each time you pause to name what you’re feeling or to sit with an emotion instead of pushing it away, you’re building a deeper relationship with yourself.
Over time, this work will ripple outward, enriching your relationships, strengthening your sense of self, and creating a life that feels more aligned and meaningful.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. At Life By Design Therapy™, we specialize in holistic and somatic-based practices to help you go beyond traditional talk therapy and truly connect with yourself.
If you’re ready to take that first step, schedule a quick phone consultation with our Coordinator [HERE]. We’re here to walk this journey with you.
This Weeks Affirmations
I am capable of learning to understand and process my feelings.
I am worthy of compassion and patience as I explore my emotional landscape.
Every emotion I feel is a message guiding me toward growth and healing.
I give myself permission to feel, express, and release my emotions in healthy ways.
I honor my emotions by giving them the attention and care they deserve.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about emotional neglect check out these books below:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller
The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
10 Signs You Grew Up with Emotionally Unavailable Parents & How to Start Healing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever felt like you’re carrying invisible baggage from your childhood like patterns, feelings, or struggles you can’t quite explain?
Maybe you’ve even caught yourself wondering,
Why do I struggle to feel seen or heard in my relationships?
Or
Why do I struggle to ask for help or trust others?
If these thoughts resonate, you’re not alone.
The effects of growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent often show up in subtle, and persistent ways, kind of like a shadow following you through life.
Over time, this emotional void can shape your sense of self and the way you navigate relationships, often in ways that you may not fully realize until adulthood.
These traits don’t mean there’s something wrong with you; rather, they’re a testament to your resilience and your ability to adapt to a challenging environment.
This blog isn’t about blame, it’s about understanding.
By exploring these common traits, my hope is that you’ll feel a sense of validation and connection.
You are not alone in your experiences, and by recognizing these patterns, you can take meaningful steps toward healing, self-acceptance, and healthier relationships.
Let’s dive into the ten traits that might feel all too familiar and explore how they came to be.
10 Signs You Grew Up With Emotional Unavailable Parents
You Struggle to Express Your Emotions
If sharing your feelings feels unnatural or even scary, it’s not because something is wrong with you.
If you grew up in an environment where emotions were dismissed or ignored, you likely learned to suppress them for survival.
Because of this, you may have disconnected from your emotions entirely to protect yourself from hurt.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Give yourself permission to feel. You can start by simply acknowledging your emotions without judgment.
Try journaling or using an emotions chart to reconnect with your inner world.
Share small pieces of your feelings with someone you trust, reminding yourself that it’s okay to start slow.
You Feel Like You Have to Do Everything Alone
If you identify as someone who is fiercely independent, there’s a chance your parents were unavailable to you or even made you feel like a burden.
If this feels familiar, you may have learned early on that asking for help wasn’t an option.
While that independence is a testament to your strength, it may also leave you feeling isolated.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Start small by asking for support in low-stakes situations, like help with a household task.
Reflect on the people in your life who have shown they’re reliable and safe, and practice leaning on them gradually.
Take time to remind yourself that allowing others to help isn’t a weakness, it’s an act of trust and connection.
You Try to Keep Everyone Else Happy
Do you find yourself bending over backward to make others happy, even at your own expense?
If this resonates, you might have grown up in an environment where love felt conditional.
Pleasing others might have been your way of avoiding conflict or earning approval.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Pause before saying yes to anything and ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel like I have to?”
Practice setting small boundaries, like turning down a request, and notice how it feels to honor your needs.
Remind yourself that your worth is not tied to what you do for others.
You Struggle to Feel Good About Yourself
When emotional validation is lacking in childhood, kids often internalize it as a reflection of their worth.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re not “enough,” not good enough, smart enough, or lovable enough, it’s okay.
Many people share this experience. Please know that those feelings of unworthiness don’t define you.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Challenge negative self-talk by practicing self-compassion. Speak to yourself like you would a close friend.
Surround yourself with people who celebrate you for who you are, not just what you do.
Practice affirmations that remind you: I am enough, just as I am.
Utilize the R.A.I.N technique - read more about that HERE.
You Value Connection & Fear Losing It
Feeling like people might leave you can be overwhelming.
Growing up with emotional neglect may have created a deep fear that connection isn’t safe or lasting.
Did you know this fear isn’t a sign of weakness?
It’s actually your mind and body trying to protect you.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Notice when fear of rejection arises and remind yourself that your past doesn’t dictate your present.
Practice open communication with loved ones about your fears—it can help build trust and understanding.
Consider working with a somatic therapist to explore where these fears come from and how to rewrite the narrative.
You Find It Hard to Set Boundaries
Does saying “no” feel impossible or asserting your needs brings up feelings of guilt?
Many adults who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents learned to prioritize others’ needs while ignoring their own.
But your needs matter, too.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Start with small boundaries, like taking 10 minutes of alone time when you need it.
Practice saying something like, “I can’t do that right now, but I appreciate you asking”, to build confidence.
Remind yourself that boundaries don’t push people away, they strengthen relationships by cultivating mutual respect.
You’re Drawn to Emotionally Unavailable Partners
Do you find yourself in relationships where your needs aren’t met, yet you stay, hoping things will change?
It’s not your fault.
We often unconsciously gravitate toward what feels familiar, even when it’s painful.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Reflect on what feels familiar in your relationships and ask yourself if it serves you.
Seek relationships that demonstrate consistency, empathy, and emotional availability.
Start with you. Work on loving and validating yourself first, so you’re less likely to seek it from unavailable people.
You’re Consistently on Edge in Relationships
Do you constantly anticipate conflict or withdrawal, even when there’s no clear reason?
Growing up in an unpredictable environment can train your nervous system to stay on high alert.
This hypervigilance may have been your way of staying safe as a child.
Remember to have compassion for yourself as you navigate regulating your nervous system.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Practice grounding techniques, like deep breathing or mindfulness, to calm your nervous system.
Remind yourself that not every change in mood signals danger, it’s okay to pause before reacting.
Therapy like EMDR and Somatic can help you retrain your brain to feel safe in healthy, stable relationships.
You Find It Hard to Trust People
If trusting others feels impossible, it’s not because you’re “broken.”
When caregivers were unreliable or dismissive, you likely learned to rely on yourself.
Trusting others now can feel risky, but it’s a skill that can be developed.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Start small by noticing who in your life has shown consistency and care.
Practice sharing little pieces of yourself and see how others respond. It’s okay to go slow.
Reflect on the fact that trust grows in increments, not all at once, and that’s okay.
You Feel Like You Have to Be Perfect
If you’ve spent your life striving for perfection, it might be because you felt like nothing you did was ever “good enough” growing up.
Overachieving might have been your way of trying to earn love or avoid criticism, but it’s a heavy burden to carry.
How to Begin Healing and Growing:
Celebrate progress over perfection, and acknowledge the effort you put in, even when things aren’t flawless.
Give yourself permission to rest and remind yourself that your value isn’t tied to what you achieve.
Work on embracing imperfection as part of being human, it’s what makes you real and relatable.
Final Thoughts
The traits you’ve developed aren’t flaws, they’re survival mechanisms that helped you navigate a challenging environment.
Here’s the good news, they don’t have to define you anymore!
With awareness, self-compassion, and support, you can begin to rewrite the patterns and step into a life where your emotional needs are met, both by yourself and others.
Healing is a journey, but every small step is a testament to your strength and resilience.
You are worthy of love, care, and connection, and it’s never too late to begin.
If you’re ready to take that next step, therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to guide you on your journey.
Reach out today and let’s begin this process together.
CLICK HERE to schedule a phone consultation.
This Weeks Affirmations
I am enough, just as I am. I don’t need to prove my worth.
I can embrace imperfection as a part of being human.
My past shaped me, but it doesn’t define who I am today.
I deserve relationships where I feel seen, heard, and valued.
It’s okay to ask for help. I don’t have to do everything alone.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about growing up with emotionally unavailable parents check out these books below:
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Winter Blues vs. Seasonal Depression: Key Differences and How to Cope Effectively
By Melody Wright, LMFT
The air is crisp, the leaves are long gone, and the days seem to end before they’ve even begun.
You’ve swapped sunny afternoons for gray skies and cozy blankets, but somewhere in this seasonal shift, you start to feel... different.
Less motivated, more irritable.
Maybe you’re staying in bed longer or dodging social plans that once lit you up.
If this feels familiar, you might be wondering, What’s happening to me?
Let’s see if I can help answer that looming question, and most importantly, let’s talk about what you can do to feel better.
Can The Season Really Shift My Mood?
First, you’re not imagining it.
The shorter days and reduced sunlight in the fall and winter months can have a real impact on your body and mind.
Did you know that sunlight helps regulate your internal clock, mood, and even energy levels?
When there’s less of it, combined with colder weather keeping you indoors, it can leave you feeling a little “off”.
This shift can look different for everyone.
For some, it’s a mild case of the “winter blues,” where you feel a little sluggish but can still power through.
For others, it develops into Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is more commonly known as Seasonal Depression.
Surprisingly, this is actually a form of depression that can significantly impact your life.
What is the Difference Between Winter Blues & Seasonal Depression (SAD)?
The winter blues are usually tied to something specific like holiday stress, financial burdens or feeling homesick.
It’s an adjustment, but not one that should feel overwhelming.
You might be groaning about the weather or fantasizing about summer, but you’re still able to function and get through your day.
So what are the signs you should look out for?
Winter Blues are common and tend to show up as:
Feeling a bit more tired or irritable than usual.
Preferring cozy nights at home over big social outings.
Struggling to stay as productive or motivated.
Possible changes in sleep patterns
It's completely normal to experience some shifts with a change in the seasons. These feelings should only last for a short time and can be easily managed with self-care and a dash of compassion.
Seasonal Depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), on the other hand, can be more serious.
It’s not just feeling “off”, it’s an actual clinically recognized condition.
According to the DSM-5 (the manual therapists use to diagnose mental health conditions), SAD is a form of depression with a seasonal pattern.
If you’re struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder you might experience…
Persistent sadness or low mood that doesn’t go away.
Loss of interest in things you normally love.
Sleeping too much (or struggling to sleep at all).
Changes in appetite (hello, carb cravings) or even significant weight loss.
Fatigue or low energy that feels impossible to shake.
Difficulty concentrating.
Feelings of hopelessness or even thoughts of self-harm.
So what is the key difference?
With Seasonal Affective Disorder, these symptoms interfere with your daily life including your work, relationships, and possibly, the ability to take care of yourself.
On the other hand, the Winter Blues is short-term and you can function normally throughout your day.
How Do You Know When It’s Time to Get Help?
You might be wondering: Where’s the line between “just a tough season” and something I need help with?
I’m glad you asked.
Here are a few signs it’s time to reach out to a licensed professional:
Your mood feels heavy or hopeless for more than 2 weeks.
You’re withdrawing from people or activities that usually bring you joy.
You’re struggling to function. Whether that’s keeping up at work, maintaining routines, or connecting with loved ones.
You feel stuck, like no matter what you do, you can’t pull yourself out of it.
If this sounds like you, know this: you don’t have to go through it alone.
Meeting with a therapist can help you understand what’s happening and guide you toward relief.
What Are Some Coping Strategies for Winter Blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Whether you’re navigating a seasonal slump or managing S.A.D., there are steps you can take to feel better. Here are some tips to help you through:
1. Chase the Light
Did you know that daylight is one of the most powerful tools to combat low mood during the colder months?
Try to spend time outdoors during the brightest part of the day, even if it’s cloudy.
Something as simple as a short walk can make a difference. You can even bundle up with your favorite warm beverage to make your walk cozy if it’s chilly outside.
At home, keep your blinds open and sit near windows whenever possible to soak in natural light.
Of course, if sunlight feels elusive, consider using a light therapy box. These lights mimic natural sunlight and have been shown to help regulate mood and energy levels.
2. Keep Moving
I know this can be a challenging one when you’re feeling down, and that’s okay.
Exercise isn’t just good for your body; it’s a powerful way to boost your mood and energy.
Whether it’s yoga or a full workout, movement releases endorphins, which can help lift your spirits.
Remember you don’t have to go all out, even gentle activity can make a noticeable difference.
Plus, regular movement can help improve sleep quality, which often takes a hit during this time of year.
3. Stay Social
When the urge to hibernate sets in, it can be easy to retreat from friends and family, but staying connected can be a vital lifeline for you during this time.
Human connection helps counteract feelings of loneliness and keeps you engaged with the world around you, which can be a huge mood booster.
Try reaching out to loved ones, even if it’s for a casual chat or a coffee date.
4. Stick to a Routine
The disruption of routines, whether it’s irregular sleep patterns or inconsistent meals, can exacerbate mood swings.
Try to establish a steady daily rhythm that includes regular wake-up and bedtime hours, balanced meals, and time for self-care.
This structure can provide stability and a sense of normalcy, even when everything outside feels unpredictable.
5. Nourish Your Body and Mind
Did you know that what you eat can directly influence how you feel? It’s always beneficial to aim for balanced meals to help sustain your energy throughout the day.
Listen to your body and eat foods that make you feel good physically and not weighed down or sluggish.
It’s also important to support your mental well-being.
Consider activities that help you decompress, like journaling, meditation, or simply setting aside time to read or enjoy a favorite hobby.
6. Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, coping strategies aren’t enough on their own, and that’s okay.
If your symptoms feel overwhelming or persist despite your efforts, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide the support you need.
Therapy can equip you with tools to manage symptoms, and in some cases, medication may be recommended to address the more severe effects of Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Final Thoughts
If the darker months are weighing on you, know that it’s not a reflection of your strength or resilience.
Seasonal changes affect close to 380 million people every year, and there’s no shame in feeling the effects.
What’s important is recognizing how you feel and taking steps, big or small, to prioritize your mental health.
This winter, be kind to yourself. Rest when you need to, connect when you’re able, and remember: brighter days, both literally and figuratively, are ahead. ☀️
This Weeks Affirmations
It’s okay to ask for help when I need it; support is a strength, not a weakness.
I am not defined by the challenges I face during this season.
My worth is not tied to my productivity or energy level.
I choose to focus on what I can control, one moment at a time.
I am allowed to feel what I feel without judgment.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about navigating depression check out these books below:
The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs by Stephen S. Ilardi
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
7 Strategies for Surviving Holiday Gatherings
By Melody Wright, LMFT
It’s hard to believe but the holidays are right around the corner.
For some, they are a time of joy and bliss, but for others, the holidays might bring unwanted stress.
I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard from people who look forward to the season but secretly dread the pressures that come with it.
Despite our best intentions, it can feel like those pressures bubble up year after year, especially during gatherings.
So, why does that happen? Why does the stress of holiday gatherings feel so overwhelming?
Part of it has to do with family dynamics, but our own stress often plays a big role, sometimes without us even realizing it.
Fortunately, once I understood the reasons behind this pattern, I discovered a few simple strategies that help manage the stress and bring a little more peace to the season.
Here’s what I’ve learned along the way.
Why Conflicts Escalate During the Holidays
If you’ve ever walked into a family gathering with a sense of dread, anticipating an awkward conversation or simmering argument, you’re not alone.
Holiday gatherings can amplify family tensions for many reasons.
However, the pressure we place on ourselves to make everything "perfect" contributes to as much stress as family dynamics do.
When we blend high expectations with old family tensions, the holidays can easily become a time of emotional strain.
Understanding the different stressors, both internal and external, can help us approach gatherings with less pressure, more patience, and a healthier mindset.
Are Your Holiday Expectations Set Too High?
During the holidays, many of us push ourselves to create the “perfect” experience. You know the experience of a beautifully decorated home, a festive meal, and the seamless gift exchanges.
Sometimes we hold an idealized picture of how it should all go, hoping for a flawless, joyous day. However, this high bar we set for ourselves can possibly become a double-edged sword.
When reality falls short of these expectations, it can be easy to feel like we’ve failed or missed the mark, and that frustration can spill over onto those around us.
Combined with family dynamics, this personal pressure can fuel misunderstandings, magnify small tensions, and create a sense of disappointment that leaves everyone feeling strained.
Are You Holding onto Old Grudges and
Unresolved Issues?
It’s no secret that family gatherings have a way of stirring up the past.
Maybe it’s an old argument that never quite got resolved or some long-standing sibling rivalry.
When we’re around family we haven’t seen in a while, those unresolved issues tend to come up, even when you least expect it.
It’s almost like the past sneaks into the present, and suddenly, small disagreements can spiral into something much bigger.
Are Stress and Exhaustion Weighing You Down?
The holidays are exhausting.
Between shopping, cooking, traveling, and trying to please everyone, you might find yourself running on fumes by the time the big family event rolls around.
And when you’re tired, it’s easy for your patience levels to wear thin.
Things that wouldn’t normally bother you, can feel like a much bigger deal than it might be.
Is Financial Pressure Adding to the Stress?
This one might be tough to talk about, but it’s real.
The financial strain of the holidays comes from buying gifts, hosting dinners, or traveling to see family and it can really add up.
It’s easy for those money worries to bleed into family interactions, even when we don’t mean for them to.
Are You Feeling Grief or Loneliness This Holiday Season?
For those of you who’ve lost someone, or are going through a breakup or divorce, the holidays can be especially hard.
When grief is present it might show up as irritability or withdrawal.
There might even be some years where grief makes this holiday harder than the last.
Grief is such a personal experience which makes it tough because not everyone understands what’s really going on inside.
Now that we've gone over why conflicts escalate during the holidays, lets explore way to manage the pressures and conflicts that occur during holiday gatherings.
7 Ways To Manage The Pressures Of The Holiday Gatherings
So, how do we handle all of this without letting the conflict take over? Here are a few strategies that can make a big difference as you navigate upcoming family functions:
Set Realistic Expectations
One thing we need to consider is where these expectations come from. Are they coming from us or the expectations of others?
Actionable Step: Pause and journal out your thoughts. What expectations are you putting on yourself? Where do they stem from? What expectations are coming from others and why do we feel it necessary to meet them?
The truth is, nothing is ever perfect, because everyone has a different perspective of what “perfect” is.
And that’s okay.
When we are able to release the pressure of meeting certain expectations, disappointment has the opportunity to fade away.
Remember, the holidays are about connection, not perfection, and keeping that in mind can really help lower your stress levels.
Recognize Responsibility
If you’re someone who considers yourself a people pleaser, the holidays might be especially tough.
I understand, you desire for everyone to be happy, and when family conflicts start, you might feel like it's on you to smooth things over.
I want to remind you that you are not responsible for the emotions of others.
If tensions flare or arguments break out, it’s not your job to fix everything.
You can’t control how others react, only how you respond.
Do your best to detach from the outcome of the conflict and focus on staying calm and centered.
Remind yourself that it’s okay to set boundaries and you’re not being selfish by taking care of your own mental and emotional well-being.
This might be surprising, but you’ll actually be in a better position to contribute to a healthier, more peaceful atmosphere without taking on the weight of everyone else’s emotions.
This holiday season, give yourself permission to let go of the need to please everyone and remember that your peace is just as important as anyone else’s.
Practicing Active Listening
I’ve found that when tensions rise, listening is my best tool.
Not just listening to respond, but really listening to understand.
When someone else is upset, try to pause and listen without interrupting.
It’s amazing how much it can diffuse a situation just by allowing the other person to feel heard.
Often it’s not about solving the problem right away, but about giving people space to express themselves.
Take Breaks
When things start to feel tense, it’s okay to step away.
Actionable Step: Consider going for a walk or finding a quiet space for a few minutes.
For some powering through is what you’re used to doing, but I want to encourage you to give yourself permission to take a break.
When you’re able to reset you can come back feeling calmer and more patient.
Avoid Sensitive Topics
When things start to feel tense, it’s okay to step away.
Actionable Step: Consider going for a walk or finding a quiet space for a few minutes.
For some powering through is what you’re used to doing, but I want to encourage you to give yourself permission to take a break.
When you’re able to reset you can come back feeling calmer and more patient.
Avoid Sensitive Topics
Let’s be honest, with it being an election year it might be tougher to avoid sensitive topics, but every family has hot-button conversations that are better left alone.
Whether it’s politics, religion, or unresolved family issues, sometimes it is just best to steer clear of those topics during the holidays.
If you feel one starting, I’ll gently change the subject to something lighter. Sometimes, agreeing to disagree is the best way to keep the peace.
Actionable Step: Try preparing redirection phases before your family gathering. For example, “Oh, that’s a big topic, but I would love to hear what you’ve been up to lately, how’s ___ going?”
Address Issues Beforehand
If there’s a lingering issue between you and a family member, it might be better to address it before the holiday gathering.
By having a conversation ahead of time, even just a brief phone call, you can clear the air and prevent unresolved tension from turning into conflict during the holidays.
However, I know how intimidating that can be.
To feel more comfortable addressing issues beforehand, choose a calm, distraction-free time and approach the conversation with kindness, using "I" statements to focus on your feelings rather than blame.
Practicing what you want to say can boost your confidence, and starting with small, neutral topics can ease into more difficult discussions.
Remember that it's okay to set boundaries and pause the conversation if needed.
Try to end on a positive note, acknowledging the effort and focusing on the shared goal of having a peaceful, enjoyable holiday.
Let Go of the Small Stuff
Not everything is worth a fight.
I know sometimes it feels like we need to engage in every argument, but feeling the need to prove ourselves can be exhausting.
Remember this holiday, the goal is to keep our peace.
Embracing the idea of letting go of the little things can ensure that this happens for you.
In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter if you don’t win that debate or if someone has a different opinion?
Choosing to let go doesn’t mean giving up or being passive, it means valuing your inner self and the well-being of your family over being “right.”
It’s freeing to realize that not every disagreement needs to be resolved, and sometimes the best response is no response at all.
final reflections
The holidays can certainly be challenging, but with a bit of patience and a few thoughtful strategies, it’s possible to manage the stress while still enjoying the season.
It’s not about creating a picture-perfect holiday or avoiding every conflict, instead, it’s about finding ways to stay grounded and nurture meaningful connections with the people we care about.
What truly matters are those moments of laughter, shared meals, and quiet connections that bring us together.
Family conflicts may arise, and that’s okay.
They don’t have to define the season.
This Weeks Affirmations
I release the need to control the situation and focus on my own well-being.
I honor my emotions without letting them overwhelm me.
I choose connection and love over the need to be right.
I am capable of creating a joyful, peaceful holiday, no matter what comes my way.
I respond with kindness and patience, even when tensions rise.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about communication tips & managing stress check out these books below:
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
9 Strategies to Thrive in Uncertain Times
By Melody Wright, LMFT
With the state of the world, so many of us are experiencing a common issue…uncertainty.
Uncertainty can feel overwhelming.
We’ve all been there.
Standing at the edge of the unknown.
Wondering what to do, or what the next step should be.
Whether it’s about your job, your health, finances, economic strain, the upcoming election, or life simply not going according to plan. It’s no secret that facing uncertainty can stir up anxiety and leave you feeling powerless.
However, I want you to remember that you’re not alone in this.
There’s a part of our humanity that craves a sense of control.
In fact, we are wired for safety and predictability.
However, while you can’t predict the future, there are ways to handle uncertainty that can help bring peace and balance into your life.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now, but with the right strategies, you can navigate the unknown with a little more confidence—and hopefully a lot less stress.
Let’s dive into some practical ways to help you stay grounded, even when things feel unsteady.
9 Ways to Stay Grounded in Uncertainty
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Take a moment to think about how you’re feeling right now.
A good step to dealing with uncertainty is to acknowledge how you’re feeling.
Whether it’s fear, worry, or frustration, try not to push these emotions away. Embracing the discomfort allows you to better understand and manage the situation, rather than being controlled by it.
Actionable Step: Consider journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or simply sitting with your thoughts to help you process these feelings.
Focus on What You Can Control
Uncertainty often amplifies the sense of helplessness.
Instead of dwelling on what’s unknown or outside your control, redirect your focus to things you can manage.
This might include your daily routine, how you spend your time, or how you care for your mental and physical health.
Actionable Step: Small actions, like getting enough sleep, exercising, or scheduling a time to relax, can provide a sense of control in the chaos.
If you would like to learn more about the benefits of self-care, check out our blog Reclaim YOU: 8 Ways to Prioritize Your Well-Being.
Ask Yourself: What are some things that are in your control right now? What are some things you can let go of?
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness teaches us to stay grounded in the present moment, which can be a powerful tool when faced with uncertainty.
Instead of ruminating on worst-case scenarios or future anxieties, consider the present moment. Mindfulness encourages us to focus on what’s happening right now.
Techniques such as deep breathing, guided meditation, or simply taking a few minutes to observe your surroundings can help calm the mind and reduce stress.
Actionable Step: If you are struggling with anxiety building up, take a moment and find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Practicing this mindfulness activity supports being present in the moment and engaging not only with your environment but also with your body.
If you would like additional mindfulness & grounding techniques, check out our free eBook, The Mind-Body Toolkit!
Embrace Adaptability
In times of uncertainty, it’s natural to feel a strong desire for control and predictability.
However, embracing adaptability can transform your experience.
Consider allowing yourself the grace to explore different outcomes and be open to adjusting your expectations as situations evolve.
For example, instead of viewing uncertainty as a source of fear, try seeing it as a canvas for new possibilities.
By permitting yourself to adapt, you can discover strengths you may not have known you had and find creative solutions to the challenges ahead.
Remember, it’s okay to take your time in this process—flexibility is a skill that develops over time.
Nurture Your Mind
With the constant updates and information thrown our way every day, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the noise.
While staying informed is important, it’s equally important to nurture your mental well-being.
Actionable Steps: Consider setting boundaries around how much information you consume each day. Take breaks from the news and social media to create space for things that bring balance and peace to your life.
Actionable Step: This might look like reading a comforting book, enjoying nature, or engaging in a hobby you love. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to step back and prioritize your mental health; you deserve moments of calm.
Cultivate Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to anxiety.
When you regularly reflect on what you’re thankful for, your mindset shifts from lack to what’s abundant in your life.
This doesn’t mean ignoring real challenges but rather balancing them with the positives.
You might find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal or take a few moments each day to think of something you appreciate that can cultivate a more hopeful outlook.
Actionable Step: Consider starting your day off with your gratitude moment. It can shift your entire day toward peace and balance.
Focus on Growth, Not Perfection
So many of us struggle with uncertainty because we feel pressure to get everything right or have a clear path forward.
Take a moment to consider where this pressure might come from.
Are you carrying the pressure of someone else's expectations or are you connecting with what is best for you?
Remember that perfection is an illusion.
Everyone has their own idea of what "perfect" looks like, which makes it impossible to meet everyone's standards.
It’s important to release the need for perfection and instead focus on progress. Focusing on the progress will help you stay present and provide a sense of accomplishment.
Have a Plan, And Stay Open
It’s perfectly natural to set goals and make plans, even when life feels uncertain.
Having a sense of direction can provide comfort and purpose, helping to alleviate feelings of uncertainty.
However, it’s important to approach your plans with a sense of openness and curiosity.
By allowing yourself the flexibility to adapt when circumstances shift, you’ll be able to adjust your goals with ease as you navigate new experiences.
Stay Connected to Your Values
When everything feels uncertain, grounding yourself in your core values can offer a profound sense of purpose and stability.
Actionable Step: Take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you.
Consider family, kindness, creativity, or integrity as examples.
By staying connected to your values and priorities, you can navigate decisions with clarity and confidence.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with uncertainty is never easy, but with the right tools, you can face it with more resilience and grace.
Acknowledging your feelings, staying connected to your values, focusing on what you can control, and embracing adaptability in your thinking all support stress management, anxiety, and the overwhelm of uncertainty.
Take a moment to reflect on how you manage uncertainty in your life.
Consider some of the strategies discussed here and incorporate them into your daily routine.
This Weeks Affirmations
Uncertainty is part of life, and I trust in my ability to move forward.
I trust myself to handle whatever challenges come my way.
I am resilient, adaptable, and capable of navigating the unknown.
I welcome flexibility and trust that everything will unfold as it should.
I allow myself to be present in this moment, free from fear of the future.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about overcoming uncertainty check out these books below:
Radical Uncertainty: Decision-Making Beyond the Numbers by John Kay & Mervyn King
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
The Art of Uncertainty: How to Live in the Mystery of Life and Love It by Dennis Merritt Jones
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance by Jonathan Fields
The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday
My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
11 Warning Signs That Your Personal Ambitions Are Putting Strain on Your Relationship
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Do you ever wonder if your personal ambitions are coming at a cost to your relationship? Balancing individual goals with the needs of a partnership can be challenging, and sometimes, the scales tip too far in one direction. Understanding the signs that your personal goals might be negatively affecting your relationship can help you find a healthier balance and ensure that both your aspirations and your relationship thrives.
Here are 11 signs to watch for:
1. Increased Tension and Arguments
Are you noticing more frequent arguments with your partner? When personal goals start taking precedence over your relationship, tension can escalate. This tension can stem from underlying resentment if your partner feels undervalued or sidelined by your ambitions. Disagreements over time management, priorities, and support can become common, leading to a strained relationship and feelings of disconnect.
2. Decreased Quality Time
Spending less time together is a significant sign. If you're too focused on achieving your personal goals, the quality time you spend with your partner might decrease. You may start feeling more like roommates than partners, with separate lives that rarely intersect meaningfully. This can lead to feelings of neglect and isolation, causing a rift in your bond and connection.
3. Lack of Communication
Communication breakdown is another red flag. When personal goals dominate your thoughts, you may find it challenging to communicate effectively with your partner. For instance, imagine you're focused on advancing in your career and have less time to discuss household responsibilities with your partner. This lack of communication could lead to misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts, such as disagreements over who is responsible for certain tasks or feeling disconnected from each other's daily lives. Clear and open communication is crucial to maintaining harmony and understanding in any relationship.
4. Emotional Distance
Feeling emotionally distant from your partner? This can often happens when personal ambitions overshadow relationship needs. As you focus more on your personal goals, emotional distance can grow. You may find yourselves drifting apart, with less emotional intimacy and connection. Emotional distance can create a sense of loneliness, dissatisfaction, and unappreciation, weakening the emotional bond between you and your partner.
5. Imbalance in Priorities
Are your priorities shifting? If personal goals consistently come before your relationship, it indicates an imbalance. This imbalance can cause frustration and resentment, making your partner feel undervalued and unimportant.
6. Neglecting Relationship Responsibilities
Ignoring or postponing relationship responsibilities can be a clear sign. When personal goals take center stage, you might neglect duties and commitments within the relationship. This neglect can lead to a buildup of unresolved issues and dissatisfaction.
7. Increased Stress and Anxiety
Do you feel more stressed and anxious? Striving to achieve personal goals while maintaining a relationship can be overwhelming. This increased stress can affect both your mental health and the health of your relationship, diminishing the quality of your interactions and making it harder to be present or maintain a positive, supportive connection. For instance, deadlines at work combined with the pressure to spend quality time with your partner can create a cycle of stress that impacts your ability to relax and enjoy each other's company. Finding effective ways to manage stress and prioritize self-care is crucial to preserving both your well-being and the harmony of your relationship.
8. Diminished Intimacy
Is your intimate life suffering? A decline in physical and emotional intimacy often occurs when personal goals consume your time and energy. This can lead to feelings of rejection and frustration, further straining the relationship. For example, if you're constantly working late to meet career objectives, you might unintentionally neglect quality time with your partner, causing them to feel disconnected and unappreciated. It's crucial to balance personal ambitions with nurturing intimacy to sustain a healthy relationship.
9. Partner's Feelings of Insecurity
Does your partner seem insecure? When personal goals overshadow relationship needs, your partner may start feeling insecure and unsure of their place in your life. This insecurity can lead to trust issues and emotional turmoil. For example, if you frequently prioritize your personal goals over spending time with your partner or reassuring them of your commitment, they may begin to doubt your feelings or the stability of the relationship.
To address this, it's important to regularly reaffirm your love and commitment to your partner. Schedule dedicated time for them amidst your busy schedule, and openly discuss how you can support each other's goals while nurturing the relationship. Building trust through consistent communication and thoughtful gestures can help alleviate feelings of insecurity and strengthen your bond.
If you’re interested in more tips and strategies, check out our blog, Balancing Personal Goals & Relationships: Pursuing Dreams While Nurturing Your Relationship.
10. Lack of Support
Are you providing enough support? Balancing personal goals and a relationship requires mutual support. If your partner feels unsupported, it can lead to resentment and conflict. A one-sided relationship, where only one partner's needs are met, is unsustainable and can lead to dissatisfaction and eventual breakdown. Ensure that you offer the necessary support to maintain a healthy relationship.
11. Unresolved Conflicts
Are conflicts going unresolved? Personal goals can cause you to avoid addressing relationship issues. Unresolved conflicts can accumulate, leading to a toxic environment and potential relationship breakdown.
If you’re enjoying this blog post, check out our blog, "What Should I Do If My Partner Doesn't Support My Personal Goals?" for further insights and strategies on navigating this common relationship challenge. Discover practical advice and tips to foster understanding and mutual support in your relationship journey.
final Thoughts
Balancing personal goals with relationship needs is crucial for maintaining a healthy, supportive partnership. If you recognize these signs in your relationship, it's important to take a step back and reassess your priorities. Open communication, mutual support, and a willingness to compromise can help you find a balance that allows both your personal ambitions and your relationship to flourish.
This Weeks Affirmations
I am committed to cultivating a supportive environment where both my goals and my relationship thrive.
Awareness of potential challenges helps me navigate them with empathy and resilience, fostering a harmonious partnership.
I prioritize open communication and mutual understanding to nurture both my goals and my relationship.
Balancing personal aspirations with my partner's needs strengthens our bond and fosters mutual growth.
I respect and value my partner’s feelings as I pursue my dreams.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about setting personal goals and relationships, check out the books below!
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.