7 Hidden Signs of Unprocessed Trauma
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t go away with more sleep.
A kind of tension that lives in your shoulders, your jaw, or your gut, without any clear reason.
Maybe you’ve tried deep breathing, journaling, even therapy, but something still feels stuck.
Unspoken.
Unresolved.
In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that trauma doesn’t always arrive with obvious signs.
Sometimes, it’s quiet.
It hides in habits we’ve normalized, like always being on edge, needing to stay busy, or finding it hard to feel anything, or finding it hard to trust others.
Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you; it’s also about what never got completed.
What your body had to hold when things felt too fast, too much, or not enough.
And when that process gets interrupted, the body stores the unfinished story, not necessarily in words, but in sensations, patterns, and protective responses.
What makes this tricky is that the signs of unprocessed trauma don’t always look like trauma.
They often get brushed off as personality quirks, burnout, anxiety, or being “too sensitive.”
But when we slow down and listen through a somatic lens, we start to understand: these symptoms are the body’s way of remembering.
Somatic or body-based work invites us to tune into the body’s cues, its sensations, movements, and patterns, as a pathway to healing.
In this post, we’ll explore the lesser-known ways trauma can show up and what your body might be trying to tell you.
What Is Unprocessed Trauma?
When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of big, obvious events like car accidents, violence, and major losses.
But trauma isn’t defined by the event itself. It’s defined by how the experience impacted your nervous system.
“Trauma happens when something overwhelms your capacity to cope, and your body doesn’t get the chance to fully process or release it. ”
It could be a single moment.
It could be something that happened over time.
It could even be something that didn’t happen, like not feeling protected, comforted, or emotionally safe when you needed it most.
When trauma goes unprocessed, it doesn’t just fade away.
It gets stored in the body, in muscle tension, in breath patterns, in how quickly you go into fight, flight, or freeze.
You might not even remember the original event, but your nervous system remembers how it felt.
From a somatic perspective, unprocessed trauma is like a loop that was never completed.
The body mobilized for action or safety, but never got the signal that the threat was over. So it stays ready. It stays alert. Or it shuts down altogether.
And the symptoms of that?
They can show up in ways that may seem unrelated, like chronic fatigue, trouble concentrating, emotional numbness, and anxiety that doesn’t respond to logic.
That’s why so many people live with trauma symptoms for years without realizing what they’re actually experiencing.
“Understanding trauma through the body, not just the mind, helps us bring compassion and clarity to what might otherwise feel confusing or shameful. ”
It’s not about what’s wrong with you.
It’s about what your body did to keep you safe… and what it’s still doing now.
The Trauma Cycle: How Unprocessed Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body
One of the most helpful shifts I see in my work is when someone realizes that trauma isn’t just about the moment something painful happened.
It’s about what happened afterward, or more specifically, what didn’t get to happen.
Our bodies are wired to respond to a threat.
When something overwhelming occurs, the nervous system kicks into gear: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
This is your body trying to protect you, and it’s incredibly intelligent.
But what many people don’t realize is that those responses are meant to be temporary.
They’re actually supposed to resolve.
You move through the threat, return to safety, and the body completes the cycle.
But trauma interrupts that.
If your body didn’t get the chance to run, fight, cry, be held, or feel safe again, and the response was interrupted, that survival energy can stay stuck in your system.
Which means the loop never closed, so your body keeps bracing for something that already happened.
So, in short, the trauma cycle is:
🔄 A threat or overwhelming experience
🔄 Activation in the nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)
🔄 No resolution or return to safety
🔄 Residual survival energy stays trapped in the body
🔄 Symptoms develop over time…physical, emotional, or relational
This is why trauma can live on for years, even when your life looks “fine” on the outside. You may not remember the event clearly, or even recognize it as trauma, but your body still responds as if it’s happening now.
Somatic therapy works by helping you gently complete that cycle.
Not by re-living the trauma, but by giving your body new experiences of safety, movement, and connection, ones that were missing before.
When that happens, something shifts. The body starts to release what it’s been holding. And you begin to feel more present, more grounded, and more you again.
Why Trauma Symptoms Often Go Unnoticed
One of the hardest parts about unprocessed trauma is how easily it hides in plain sight.
Because trauma isn’t always tied to one big moment, many people don’t realize they’ve experienced it.
Especially when the trauma was chronic, subtle, or relational.
For example, growing up in a home where you had to stay small to stay safe, or constantly being the one who held everything together.
When those patterns start early or go on for a long time, they start to feel normal.
Maybe you’ve become really good at adapting, and you learn to be hyper-aware of others’ moods.
Or maybe you keep yourself busy so you don’t have to feel what’s underneath, you shut down in conflict, or feel like rest is only okay if you’ve earned it.
Now you may be thinking, none of this screams “trauma” on the surface.
“In fact, it often gets praised…being responsible, independent, always composed. But underneath, your nervous system might still be running on survival mode.”
That’s why trauma symptoms are so often misread.
What’s really a protective response might look like burnout, anxiety, disconnection, or even a personality trait.
And because these patterns become familiar, you might not question them.
You might just think, This is how I’ve always been.
When we view these patterns through a somatic lens, we begin to understand that many of them aren’t who we are, but rather, they’re strategies the body developed to help us survive.
And once we recognize that, we can begin to meet those parts with more curiosity, compassion, and support.
7 Hidden Symptoms of Unprocessed Trauma
I’ve noticed something again and again…trauma doesn’t always show up the way people expect it to.
Sometimes it’s not panic or flashbacks.
Sometimes it’s a constant tiredness you can’t explain, or the way your shoulders never quite relax.
It’s the pressure to keep going, the discomfort with stillness, or the feeling that you have to stay on alert… even when things seem fine.
These patterns often go unnoticed because they blend into everyday life. They feel familiar.
In sessions, when I slow down with a client and we start to listen to what the body is actually saying, a different story begins to emerge.
Below are some of the more hidden ways I see unprocessed trauma show up:
1️⃣ Chronic tension or pain: This one is so common it often flies under the radar. Maybe it’s your jaw, shoulders, stomach, or chest, but it’s always there. Sometimes, people don’t even realize how much tension they’re carrying until they feel what it’s like to soften. The body doesn’t hold that tightly without a reason…it’s protecting something.
2️⃣ Fatigue that doesn’t go away: This is more than being sleepy. It’s a deep exhaustion, the kind that seeps into your bones. I often see this when someone’s system has been in survival mode for a long time, especially when in freeze mode. The body is conserving energy, but it’s not truly resting.
3️⃣ Restlessness or the inability to slow down: Have you ever felt like the moment you stop moving, it’s almost like your body doesn’t know what to do with that stillness? You may feel agitated, anxious, or even guilty when you try to rest. That’s your nervous system's way of keeping you busy as a form of protection.
4️⃣ Emotional numbness or disconnection: Sometimes, instead of feeling too much, you may feel nothing. It’s like there’s a fog between you and your own emotions. Numbness can be a survival response. The body shuts down to protect you, but it doesn’t always know when it’s okay to come back online.
5️⃣ Difficulty trusting others or asking for help: I see this a lot in high-functioning, deeply capable people. Hyper-independence can look like strength, but often it’s a response to learning that others weren’t reliable, or that vulnerability wasn’t safe. The body learns to go it alone, even when it doesn’t want to. Many times, this is from growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers. If you would like to learn more about this, check out my blog, Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors.
6️⃣Overreacting, or underreacting, to stress: This can go both ways. Maybe small things send you into a spiral, or maybe you shut down completely. Both are signs that your nervous system may be stuck in a trauma response, even when the current situation doesn’t seem threatening.
7️⃣ Overthinking and mental exhaustion: When your world hasn’t felt safe, your mind can step in to scan for danger. Overanalyzing, perfectionism, and reading between the lines are all ways the body tries to predict or prevent harm. You’re not overthinking for no reason. It’s protection.
“None of these symptoms exists in isolation, and they’re not random. They’re adaptive. They were your body’s way of helping you survive something that felt too much at the time.”
But I want you to know that when we start to understand these symptoms as messages, not flaws, we can begin responding with support, not shame.
How Somatic Therapy Helps Break the Trauma Cycle
When someone asks me what somatic therapy actually does, I often say this: it helps your body finish what it never got to complete.
So much of trauma healing isn’t about talking through what happened, especially if the story is blurry, complex, or you never felt safe to tell someone.
Somatic work meets you somewhere else: in the sensations, impulses, and protective responses that live in the body long after the event has passed.
Because trauma is stored in the nervous system, not just in memory, it doesn’t always respond to logic or insight.
You can know you’re safe now, but still feel tense, guarded, or shut down.
You might want to relax, but your body might not know how.
This is where somatic therapy becomes such a powerful tool.
It doesn’t push you to relive anything.
Instead, it helps you build awareness and relationship with your body’s cues so you can start to recognize when you're bracing, when you're disconnecting, or when you're ready to soften.
In sessions, we might work with:
🌻 Gentle movement to help release stored tension
🌻 Breathwork to support regulation (without overwhelm)
🌻 Grounding practices to help you come back to the present moment
🌻 Tracking sensations as a way to listen more closely to your body’s messages
🌻 Titration and pacing, which means going slow enough for your system to stay safe and engaged
Over time, this kind of work helps the trauma cycle complete in a new way—one that doesn’t retraumatize, but restores.
The goal isn’t to get rid of anything. It’s to help your body realize that it no longer has to keep carrying the past as if it’s still happening.
That’s where capacity grows.
That’s where safety becomes more than just a concept; it becomes a felt experience. And when that happens, the nervous system starts to recalibrate, little by little. The things that once felt impossible, like rest, connection, and ease, start to feel just a bit more reachable.
If you would like to learn more about how Somatic Therapy can be supportive, check out my blog, Choosing the Right Therapy: Why Holistic & Somatic Methods Work Best.
And if you’re feeling ready for deeper support, I know a few people who would love to walk alongside you. At Life By Design Therapy™, we’re known for our compassionate, premier care that blends holistic and somatic approaches to healing. Reach out when you’re ready!
Final Thoughts
If any part of this resonated, I want to gently remind you, your symptoms make sense.
They’re not random, and they’re not signs that something is wrong with you.
They’re signs that your body has been working hard to protect you, even long after the threat has passed.
Unprocessed trauma can weave itself into the way you move through the world without you even realizing it.
But once you start to understand how your nervous system responds to what it’s lived through, everything starts to feel a little less confusing.
A little less heavy.
There’s a way forward, and it doesn’t require you to force or fix anything about yourself.
Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before. It means building a new relationship with your body, your story, and your capacity to feel safe again.
You don’t need a perfect plan to start. You just need a bit of support, a little space to slow down, and the reminder that your body already knows the way home.
If you’re curious about somatic therapy or feel ready to explore this work together, we’d love to support you.
This Weeks Affirmations
I trust that my body holds wisdom.
Rest isn’t weakness, it’s repair.
I’m allowed to go at the pace that feels right for my nervous system.
I can listen to what my body is saying with curiosity.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means creating new experiences that remind me I’m safe now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about trauma, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity" by Nadine Burke Harris
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing By Oprah Winfrey
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Racial Trauma: How to Begin Healing
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Now that we’ve put a name to the invisible foe of Racial Trauma, we can begin to find ways to acknowledge the pain and heal. If you’re curious as to what we are talking about head over to the previous blog Racial Trauma - Acknowledging the Invisible Foe as a prerequisite to this read. Racial Trauma can be a confusing and painful experience to endure, and as we mentioned in the previous blog, you are not alone. Your feelings and experiences are valid. In this blog, you will find ways to cope, resources, and learn new ways to heal.
Healing Begins Here
Finding your footing on where to start your healing journey can be challenging. Racial trauma is something that is complex and individualized. Like grief, racial trauma is something that is not diagnosed clinically, yet is a very real experience, which can potentially leave you feeling confused. So what can you do to begin your healing process?
Discuss Your Experience - Start talking to those around you that you trust. Having friends and family to bounce thoughts off of, share stories with, and even flow through emotions can create a safe space for healing. You may find that those around you have experienced or are experiencing similar thoughts and emotions as you are.
Seek Support - Not only can you find support with friends and family, but there are also community resources available, therapy services, and religious/spiritual services available to you. If you are a student, you can check with your school for programs and resources for those your age as well. Having this support can provide you with comfort and validation.
Engage In Self-Care Practices - Due to the stress that is put on the body in traumatic situations, it is essential to engage in self-care practices. Self-care practices are not one-size-fits-all, so take some time to figure out what works for you. That could be enjoying a bike ride after work, getting up early to drink your coffee and meditate, reciting affirmations to yourself on your drive to work, or practicing breathing techniques. The goal is to reduce stress on the body and bring awareness to what you’re experiencing.
Empower Other Voices - Your story will bring healing to others who are hurting. By participating in community outreach and activism, your story has the potential to reach many others who haven’t been able to put a name to their invisible foe. You may also have the ability to educate others outside of the BIPOC community about the importance of mental health among those experiencing racial trauma. You will see that as you use your voice, you will empower other voices to rise up and bring awareness to this systemic issue.
Here at Life By Design Therapy, we acknowledge the vulnerability it takes to move through the complexities of racial trauma. We want to be a resource for you on your healing journey. We have a staff that carries a social justice lens, cultural competency, and relatability to ensure that you are receiving the safety and support you need. If you are interested in working with one of our therapists please click HERE to schedule your free phone consultation today.
If you didn’t get a chance to check our list of resources in the previous blog, we’ve included it here!
Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad
White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing by Joy a Degruy
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein
Caste (Oprah's Book Club): The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Dr. Robin DiAngelo
The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together by Heather McGhee
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Racial Trauma - Acknowledging the Invisible Foe
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There is an invisible force that has been silently affecting the lives of those with extra melanin in their skin. For centuries many people have felt this force in their day-to-day lives, yet they haven’t been able to name it. Some have described it as a cloud that follows them and never seems to lift. Others feel as though they must question their own thoughts and feelings with simple daily tasks. So what is this invisible foe? The answer is racial trauma.
What is Racial Trauma?
Racial trauma is physical, emotional, and mental distress experienced by the BIPOC community due to racism in society. The reason we are calling racial trauma the invisible foe is due to the fact that it is not something that is experienced during a single isolated event, but rather something that stacks over time by continual exposure either directly or indirectly. Racial trauma is also something that is rarely acknowledged as a valid human experience, which causes confusion throughout the community.
Signs of Racial Trauma
Now that we’ve put a name to our foe, I’m sure you are wondering what signs of racial trauma are. Some people experience anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, and even feelings of guilt and shame around regular day-to-day tasks. However, did you know that trauma can be stored in the body? It’s possible that you may be experiencing physical symptoms in response to the long-term effects of stress from racial trauma. Physical symptoms can include insomnia, headaches, and hypervigilance. The more exposure to racial trauma the more you may see these physical symptoms could intensify.
Indirect vs Direct Racial Trauma
Exposure to racial trauma is a different experience for each individual. This trauma can come in the form of direct or indirect exposure. Unfortunately, many BIPOCs experience both in today's society.
Indirect racial trauma is probably the most predominant form of exposure. This can look like watching the news and finding out about police brutality in your area, having a family dinner out, and overhearing conversations with discriminatory phrases. These situations affect you without being necessarily directed at you. They may stimulate feelings of worry, anger, or confusion, all of which are valid responses to what you’ve experienced.
Direct racial trauma exposure is discrimination that is specifically directed at you. For example, you are at the grocery store buying some snacks for a gathering you’re having and you accidentally bump into someone. When you turn to apologize you are met with someone who responds with a racially motivated insult. After this, you may have feelings of anger and resentment, but you may also experience thoughts that make you think there is something wrong with you for having a different skin color.
Acknowledging The Invisible Foe
It is important to remember that you are not alone in your experience with racial trauma. This is a real thing that many people struggle with.
Acknowledging racial trauma is the first step towards creating more awareness about its effects on people’s mental health. We must also strive to create an environment where people feel safe to talk about their experiences without fear of judgment. There are many people out there who understand what you’re going through and can provide support and resources to help you cope with the pain.
If you are wondering where to start, finding a culturally competent therapist would be a great first step. Our therapists at Life By Design Therapy carry a social justice lens. If you are interested in working with our team please click HERE to schedule your free phone consultation.
**If you’re interested in expanding your awareness and knowledge on race-related matters, check out these books below:
Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad
White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing by Joy a Degruy
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein
Caste (Oprah's Book Club): The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Dr. Robin DiAngelo
The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together by Heather McGhee
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
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