The Journey Within: 10 Ways to Conquer Self-Doubt

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Do you ever find yourself wrestling with doubts about your abilities, worth, or place in the world? If you answered “yes”, we want you to know that you're not alone. Self-doubt is a common experience that can plague even the most confident people. It has the ability to cast shadows of uncertainty on our thoughts and actions. Yet,   you have the potential for profound transformation—a journey from self-doubt to self-love.

In this blog post, we'll explore some actionable steps to replace self-doubt with confidence and self-love. Whether you're grappling with fleeting moments of insecurity or facing persistent doubts that overshadow your life, this blog will support the path toward greater self-compassion, resilience, and inner peace.

From Doubt To Empowerment 

This journey from having negative thoughts or self-doubt to embracing an empowered mindset is something that requires commitment to self-awareness, self-compassion, and mindful actions geared toward cultivating a positive self-image. It’s not about erasing all doubts overnight but rather about developing inner resilience and self-acceptance to navigate through them with grace when they arise. Here are some essential steps to guide you through this transformation process. 

1. Acknowledge Your Self-Doubt: The first step in transforming self-doubt is to become aware of it and acknowledge it. This self-awareness will support you in recognizing when self-doubt comes through and how it manifests in your thoughts and behaviors.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would treat a close friend. Hold a non-judgmental space and allow self-compassion to come through. This allows you to be gentle with yourself when facing difficult situations or perceived failures. Instead of harsh self-criticism, offer yourself words of encouragement and support.

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge negative self-talk. When you notice yourself doubting your abilities or worth, counter those thoughts with positive affirmations and realistic perspectives. Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and past successes. You can say things such as, “It’s ok, I can handle it better next time”, or “I can”. 

4. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps. Setting realistic goals helps prevent feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy. Celebrate each milestone you reach, no matter how small, because every step contributes to your growth and progress.

5. Stop the Comparison: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your personal growth and development. Remember that everyone is at a different stage in life, everyone was raised differently, carries different perspectives, and has different obstacles in their life. Embrace your journey of continuous improvement, knowing that progress takes time and effort. Cultivate a growth mindset that views challenges as opportunities for learning and self-discovery.

6. Practice Gratitude: Keep gratitude at the forefront of your mind by acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. Reflect on the things you appreciate about yourself and your experiences. Gratitude helps shift your perspective from what you lack to what you already have, which will help foster self-love and contentment.

7. Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This could include exercise, healthy eating, relaxation techniques, hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or seeking professional support when needed. Taking care of yourself demonstrates self-love and reinforces your worthiness of care and attention. This step will also help you discover things that make YOU happy rather than following the outside influences telling you what will make you happy.

8. Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, or mentors who uplift and encourage you. Seek out positive influences that affirm your worth and capabilities. Having this strong support system can boost your confidence and help you navigate through moments of doubt.

9. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Cultivate mindfulness through practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindfulness exercises. Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, allowing you to develop greater self-awareness and acceptance. Over time, mindfulness can reduce the intensity of self-doubt and foster a greater sense of inner peace and acceptance.

10. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If self-doubt significantly impacts your daily life or mental health, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Therapy can help you get to the root of where your negative self-talk might come from and provide you with tools and strategies to address the underlying issues, build self-esteem, and cultivate self-love in a safe and supportive environment. You might find that narrative therapy, holistic therapy, and somatic therapy can be especially supportive for boosting self-esteem. 

Final Thoughts

We want you to remember that transforming self-doubt and negative self-talk into self-love is a gradual process that requires patience, persistence, and self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you walk out this journey of self-discovery and growth. If you find that you are interested in therapy to support this journey, consider meeting with one of our skilled clinicians here at Life By Design Therapy. Our therapists specialize in Holistic and Somatic Therapy and they are ready to customize your care within a secure environment. Click HERE to schedule a free consultation today. 

Affirmations for Self-Doubt 

1. "I am capable of overcoming any challenges that come my way."

2. "I trust in my ability to make sound decisions."

3. "I am deserving of success and happiness."

4. "I recognize my strengths and value my unique qualities."

5. "I choose to believe in myself, even when faced with uncertainty."

Additional Resources 

**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on growing your confidence, check out these books below:

1. "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

2. "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Kristin Neff 

3. "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by Brené Brown

4. "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach

5. “The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself" by Michael A. Singer

6. "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" by Daniel Goleman

7. "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life" by Mark Manson

8. "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero

9. "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" by Elizabeth Gilbert

10. "The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.

Empower Your Inner Self: 10 Steps to Elevate Your Self-Esteem

by Melody Wright, LMFT

In a world with social media highlight reels and what seem to be perfectly curated personas, it’s not always easy to feel the freedom to be yourself. Living in the age of influencers and filtered realities, we can find our authentic selves becoming lost in the noise. Yet, authenticity is where your true power lies, it’s the source of genuine self-esteem and confidence. The rise of low self-esteem is a significant and widespread issue, but why? How can we learn to live authentically? In this blog, we'll look at how being authentic can boost your self-worth and discover 10 mindful steps you can take to become more confident and comfortable with who you are. 

Why is Low Self-Esteem So Profound? 

1. Social Media and Comparison Culture: The presence of social media platforms can lead to a comparison mindset. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem when you believe you don't measure up to the images and experiences you see online.

2. Societal Pressure: Society tend to place immense pressure on us to conform to certain standards of beauty, success, and achievement. These unrealistic expectations can make us feel that we are never "good enough," no matter what we do.

3. Bullying and Cyberbullying: Bullying, whether in person or online, can have a devastating impact on your self-esteem and mental health. The constant fear of being ridiculed or belittled can erode one's self-worth.

4. Economic Insecurity: Economic instability and uncertainty can create anxiety and self-doubt. That can include financial difficulties, unemployment, etc which can lead to a sense of failure and diminished self-esteem.

5. Isolation and Loneliness: Despite the connectedness facilitated by technology, many people can experience deep feelings of loneliness and isolation. These emotions can contribute to poor mental health because it may cause feeling of being unwanted or unimportant.

6. Pressure to Achieve and Perform: There's often a relentless drive to achieve and perform at the highest levels in various aspects of life, from academics and career to personal relationships. This intense pressure can lead to a fear of failure, which can take a toll on your mental health. 

7. Mental Health Issues: Mental health problems like anxiety, depression, and eating disorders can profoundly impact self-esteem. The negative thought patterns associated with these conditions can reinforce feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.

8. Childhood Experiences: Early experiences, particularly in childhood, can shape your self-esteem. Negative or traumatic experiences during the early years can leave lasting scars on one's self-worth. 

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Cultivate Authenticity 

Low self-esteem can cast a shadow over every aspect of our lives, which can hold us back from reaching our full potential and experiencing the fulfillment we deserve. But the good news is that self-esteem is not immovable; it's a quality that can be nurtured and strengthened over time. However, remember that these tools are not overnight solutions, but rather tools to help cultivate a deep and lasting sense of self-worth. 

1. Get to Know YOU: We spend most of our time being told what we should like, how we should look, what we should buy, and what we should accomplish to be successful. However, we usually don’t take the time to get to know ourselves. Ask yourself “what do I want” and “what do I like”, then enjoy the journey free of judgement.

2. Increase Self Awareness: The more you begin to learn about who you are, the more you’ll want to become aware of your thoughts, patterns, and feelings. Mindful journaling and meditation can support you as you check in with yourself.

3. Use Positive Affirmations: As you become aware of your thoughts, patterns, and feelings, you can challenge the negative thoughts with affirming ones. As you utilize affirmations, you can rewire your thinking to move into a place of self-love, self-empowerment, and self-compassion which will boost your self-esteem.

4. Develop Healthy Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining boundaries is a vital aspect of self-care. It ensures the protection of your mental and emotional well-being. Learning to say "no" when necessary and prioritize your own needs, without guilt, can support with self-empowerment and honoring your own thoughts and feelings.

5. Set Realistic Goals: Setting achievable goals, whether small or large, is essential for improving self-esteem. These goals serve as stepping stones to success, boosting your confidence as you accomplish them. Be sure to celebrate your achievements, no matter how modest they may seem.

6. Limit Self-Comparison: Try limiting your time on social media. The time you do spend there, remind yourself that many people you see only share the highlights of their life. They are a human just like you.

7. Create a Self-Love Journal: Consider creating a journal space to write down things you like about yourself. You can use this as a place to dump your thoughts and feelings, write affirmations and cultivate gratitude for yourself and your life.

8. Attune to your Body: Pay attention to your body and its needs. Engage in regular physical activity, eat nourishing foods, and get enough rest. When you feel well physically, it supports your mental and emotional health leading to a positive self-image.

9. Consider Creative Expression: As you learn about who you’re authentic self is, consider expressing yourself creatively. Trying new hobbies allow you to expand your mind. The act of creation can also create a sense of accomplishment.

10. Build A Network: Having those around you who see your true self can support in building you up, which can boost your moral. Considering therapy for self-growth and working through traumas can also cultivate a sense self-compassion and encouragement. 

Final Thoughts

Boosting your self-esteem is a journey that unfolds over time. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it's about self-acceptance and growth. As you to explore these approaches, be kind to yourself, and know that your journey is unique. With patience and dedication, you can build a healthier and more confident relationship with yourself, unlocking the potential for a more fulfilling and authentic life. If building a support network is one of the tools you decide to try, consider reaching out to one of our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy. If you’re in California and interested in our holistic and somatic therapy services, click below to schedule your free phone consultation today.

Additional Resources

1. ”Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by Brené Brown

2. ”The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life” (Mark Manson Collection)

3. ”Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Kristin Neff

4. ”Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers

5. ”The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt" by Russ Harris

6. ”Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” by James Clear

7. ”A Renaissance of Our Own: A Memoir & Manifesto on Reimagining” by Rachel E. Cargle

8. ”You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero

Coping With Burnout - What Can You Do When Life Doesn’t Stop?

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you are empty, lacking motivation, and mentally exhausted? More than likely you are experiencing burnout. Unfortunately, life keeps pushing forward, and it becomes difficult to pour from an empty cup. This can become very overwhelming for many. You might desire a break to be filled again, but if you lack the opportunity for that break, what can you do to fill your cup again? In this blog, we will provide you with the tools to refresh even when you don’t have the opportunity to truly slow down. 

What is Burnout? 

Burnout is a feeling where your mental and emotional state is depleted and it becomes exhausting to even perform basic day-to-day tasks. The feeling of burnout can be caused by many things such as your job, home life, financial hardships, personal problems, or a combination of these. It can have a significant impact on your daily life, leading to feelings of frustration, irritability, and disengagement from work or personal relationships. It's incredibly common to feel overwhelmed and depleted especially when you’re constantly putting others before yourself.

What Can You Do To Support Yourself? 

If you're experiencing burnout, you must recognize the symptoms and take steps to prevent it from negatively impacting your daily life. Here are some practical strategies to help you cope with burnout:

1. Take Time For Yourself: It's essential to prioritize self-care and take time for yourself. This can include engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as reading, taking a bath, or going for a walk. Make sure to set aside time each day for self-care, even if it's just 10 minutes.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and sensations throughout your body. Practicing mindfulness can help you reduce stress, improve your mood, and increase your overall well-being. There are many mindfulness practices, including meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.

3. Set Boundaries: This is a BIG one! It’s okay to say “no”. It's important to set boundaries in your personal and professional life to prevent burnout. This can include saying no to extra work or social engagements you don't have the time or energy for or setting limits on how much time you spend on certain activities.

4. Get Enough Sleep: Getting enough sleep is important for optimal health in general, but prioritizing sleep can help your brain reset allowing clarity for the following day. You can do this by establishing a regular sleep routine, avoiding caffeine before bedtime, and creating a relaxing sleep environment.

5. Engage In Physical Activity: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, and improve your mood. Even just a 10-minute walk can have significant benefits.

6. Seek Support: If you're feeling burnt out, it's important to seek support from friends, family, and even a therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and more supported.

We understand that burnout can have a significant impact on your daily life, but there are practical strategies that you can use to cope with it. By prioritizing yourself you can prevent burnout from negatively impacting your well-being. If you are needing support with moving forward out of your burnout state, consider reaching out to one of our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy. In conclusion, we want you to know that you are not alone and we are here to be a resource and support in your journey. We also have additional resources throughout our website such as links to mediation videos, a free downloadable eBook, and blogs that target more specific areas you might need support with. 

All About Grief - 6 Ways to Care for Yourself While Grieving

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Grief…it’s an unavoidable part of life that can be incredibly painful and potentially debilitating for some. It isn’t linear and there’s no timeline to be followed. Grief can be described as a singular emotion and yet there are many emotions involved making it feel like a whirlwind. When someone is on the roller coaster of grief recovery they may find it easy to place their own needs on the back burner or have thoughts of “what’s the point?”. Our goal in this blog is to support you in your pain and provide resources to help you find relief. We will provide you with simple coping tools to support yourself in this season of your life. 

What Should You Do While Grieving? 

1. Give Yourself Permission - this is so important during your grieving journey. In the previous “All About Grief” blog we discussed the Five Stages of Grief and one of the stages is the denial stage. Many times when we are in the denial stage of our grief, we will have feelings of numbness or even keep busy to keep our mind off the situation. If you find yourself in this position, give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions you need. This can immensely support your process. We want to remind you that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there are no right or wrong feelings to feel, but we encourage you to give yourself permission to feel them. Your grief journey is intensely personal and you are allowed to experience it no matter what it may look like.
   

2. Eat Well - Eating a balanced diet is beneficial for life in general, but it can be extremely supportive when you are experiencing major emotional fluctuations. We’re not medical doctors, however, during a grieving period, eating extra protein, omegas, and food high in B vitamins can positively impact potential mood swings. Higher protein foods like eggs, turkey, and Greek yogurt can support balancing blood sugar levels. Foods high in B vitamins like bananas can provide serotonin boosts and omega-rich food like fish provide DHA and EPA which are both linked to lowering depression levels. It’s always best to consult your physician before making changes to your diet. They can also provide additional dietary and supplement options based on your personal needs.
   

3. Move Your Body - Gentle movement can support your body in the midst of grief as well. Stepping outside to go for a walk will allow you to receive Vitamin D from the sun, which supports mood, and movement releases dopamine and serotonin in your brain which are the “feel good” hormones.
   

4. Write A Letter - Some people who have lost a loved one, experience regret for not being able to express something to that person they lost. Writing them a letter is a great way to express those things you might not have been able to. You may also be experiencing many levels of emotions and “brain dumping” on paper can help you organize your thoughts or express things you may not be able to say out loud.
   

5. Keep a Routine - Because grief comes with major life shifts, finding small things within your control can be supportive to some people. This can be as simple as making your bed as soon as you get up in the morning, or laying out your clothes for the next day before you go to bed at night. Keeping a routine can provide or return a sense of normalcy and structure to your life.
   

6. Find Others Who Are Grieving - Having those around you who understand the depth of what you are going through can provide a sense of security and comfort while riding the waves of this grieving journey. There are many grief support groups that you can find locally and there are options for therapy services as well. 

If you find yourself in the ebbs and flows of grief, having someone to provide a safe and secure place to process can support you in moving closer to the shoreline of acceptance. Therapy can provide tools to process the trauma that may be involved with the grief you’re experiencing, or find ways to cope with the emotions that suddenly arise when there is a trigger.

Life By Design Therapy has a staff that is ready to support you with this journey. You can find free resources on our website or if you’re in California you can schedule your free phone consultation below to get started. 

If you found this blog helpful, you may be interested in, “Navigating Grief During The Holidays” for some useful techniques and additional information about grief.

**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on grief and how to support those that are grieving, check out these books below:

1. On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

2. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

3. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman

4. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

5. The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman

6. It's Okay That You're Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine

7. The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller

8. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.