7 Hidden Signs of Unprocessed Trauma
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t go away with more sleep.
A kind of tension that lives in your shoulders, your jaw, or your gut, without any clear reason.
Maybe you’ve tried deep breathing, journaling, even therapy, but something still feels stuck.
Unspoken.
Unresolved.
In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that trauma doesn’t always arrive with obvious signs.
Sometimes, it’s quiet.
It hides in habits we’ve normalized, like always being on edge, needing to stay busy, or finding it hard to feel anything, or finding it hard to trust others.
Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you; it’s also about what never got completed.
What your body had to hold when things felt too fast, too much, or not enough.
And when that process gets interrupted, the body stores the unfinished story, not necessarily in words, but in sensations, patterns, and protective responses.
What makes this tricky is that the signs of unprocessed trauma don’t always look like trauma.
They often get brushed off as personality quirks, burnout, anxiety, or being “too sensitive.”
But when we slow down and listen through a somatic lens, we start to understand: these symptoms are the body’s way of remembering.
Somatic or body-based work invites us to tune into the body’s cues, its sensations, movements, and patterns, as a pathway to healing.
In this post, we’ll explore the lesser-known ways trauma can show up and what your body might be trying to tell you.
What Is Unprocessed Trauma?
When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of big, obvious events like car accidents, violence, and major losses.
But trauma isn’t defined by the event itself. It’s defined by how the experience impacted your nervous system.
“Trauma happens when something overwhelms your capacity to cope, and your body doesn’t get the chance to fully process or release it. ”
It could be a single moment.
It could be something that happened over time.
It could even be something that didn’t happen, like not feeling protected, comforted, or emotionally safe when you needed it most.
When trauma goes unprocessed, it doesn’t just fade away.
It gets stored in the body, in muscle tension, in breath patterns, in how quickly you go into fight, flight, or freeze.
You might not even remember the original event, but your nervous system remembers how it felt.
From a somatic perspective, unprocessed trauma is like a loop that was never completed.
The body mobilized for action or safety, but never got the signal that the threat was over. So it stays ready. It stays alert. Or it shuts down altogether.
And the symptoms of that?
They can show up in ways that may seem unrelated, like chronic fatigue, trouble concentrating, emotional numbness, and anxiety that doesn’t respond to logic.
That’s why so many people live with trauma symptoms for years without realizing what they’re actually experiencing.
“Understanding trauma through the body, not just the mind, helps us bring compassion and clarity to what might otherwise feel confusing or shameful. ”
It’s not about what’s wrong with you.
It’s about what your body did to keep you safe… and what it’s still doing now.
The Trauma Cycle: How Unprocessed Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body
One of the most helpful shifts I see in my work is when someone realizes that trauma isn’t just about the moment something painful happened.
It’s about what happened afterward, or more specifically, what didn’t get to happen.
Our bodies are wired to respond to a threat.
When something overwhelming occurs, the nervous system kicks into gear: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
This is your body trying to protect you, and it’s incredibly intelligent.
But what many people don’t realize is that those responses are meant to be temporary.
They’re actually supposed to resolve.
You move through the threat, return to safety, and the body completes the cycle.
But trauma interrupts that.
If your body didn’t get the chance to run, fight, cry, be held, or feel safe again, and the response was interrupted, that survival energy can stay stuck in your system.
Which means the loop never closed, so your body keeps bracing for something that already happened.
So, in short, the trauma cycle is:
🔄 A threat or overwhelming experience
🔄 Activation in the nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)
🔄 No resolution or return to safety
🔄 Residual survival energy stays trapped in the body
🔄 Symptoms develop over time…physical, emotional, or relational
This is why trauma can live on for years, even when your life looks “fine” on the outside. You may not remember the event clearly, or even recognize it as trauma, but your body still responds as if it’s happening now.
Somatic therapy works by helping you gently complete that cycle.
Not by re-living the trauma, but by giving your body new experiences of safety, movement, and connection, ones that were missing before.
When that happens, something shifts. The body starts to release what it’s been holding. And you begin to feel more present, more grounded, and more you again.
Why Trauma Symptoms Often Go Unnoticed
One of the hardest parts about unprocessed trauma is how easily it hides in plain sight.
Because trauma isn’t always tied to one big moment, many people don’t realize they’ve experienced it.
Especially when the trauma was chronic, subtle, or relational.
For example, growing up in a home where you had to stay small to stay safe, or constantly being the one who held everything together.
When those patterns start early or go on for a long time, they start to feel normal.
Maybe you’ve become really good at adapting, and you learn to be hyper-aware of others’ moods.
Or maybe you keep yourself busy so you don’t have to feel what’s underneath, you shut down in conflict, or feel like rest is only okay if you’ve earned it.
Now you may be thinking, none of this screams “trauma” on the surface.
“In fact, it often gets praised…being responsible, independent, always composed. But underneath, your nervous system might still be running on survival mode.”
That’s why trauma symptoms are so often misread.
What’s really a protective response might look like burnout, anxiety, disconnection, or even a personality trait.
And because these patterns become familiar, you might not question them.
You might just think, This is how I’ve always been.
When we view these patterns through a somatic lens, we begin to understand that many of them aren’t who we are, but rather, they’re strategies the body developed to help us survive.
And once we recognize that, we can begin to meet those parts with more curiosity, compassion, and support.
7 Hidden Symptoms of Unprocessed Trauma
I’ve noticed something again and again…trauma doesn’t always show up the way people expect it to.
Sometimes it’s not panic or flashbacks.
Sometimes it’s a constant tiredness you can’t explain, or the way your shoulders never quite relax.
It’s the pressure to keep going, the discomfort with stillness, or the feeling that you have to stay on alert… even when things seem fine.
These patterns often go unnoticed because they blend into everyday life. They feel familiar.
In sessions, when I slow down with a client and we start to listen to what the body is actually saying, a different story begins to emerge.
Below are some of the more hidden ways I see unprocessed trauma show up:
1️⃣ Chronic tension or pain: This one is so common it often flies under the radar. Maybe it’s your jaw, shoulders, stomach, or chest, but it’s always there. Sometimes, people don’t even realize how much tension they’re carrying until they feel what it’s like to soften. The body doesn’t hold that tightly without a reason…it’s protecting something.
2️⃣ Fatigue that doesn’t go away: This is more than being sleepy. It’s a deep exhaustion, the kind that seeps into your bones. I often see this when someone’s system has been in survival mode for a long time, especially when in freeze mode. The body is conserving energy, but it’s not truly resting.
3️⃣ Restlessness or the inability to slow down: Have you ever felt like the moment you stop moving, it’s almost like your body doesn’t know what to do with that stillness? You may feel agitated, anxious, or even guilty when you try to rest. That’s your nervous system's way of keeping you busy as a form of protection.
4️⃣ Emotional numbness or disconnection: Sometimes, instead of feeling too much, you may feel nothing. It’s like there’s a fog between you and your own emotions. Numbness can be a survival response. The body shuts down to protect you, but it doesn’t always know when it’s okay to come back online.
5️⃣ Difficulty trusting others or asking for help: I see this a lot in high-functioning, deeply capable people. Hyper-independence can look like strength, but often it’s a response to learning that others weren’t reliable, or that vulnerability wasn’t safe. The body learns to go it alone, even when it doesn’t want to. Many times, this is from growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers. If you would like to learn more about this, check out my blog, Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors.
6️⃣Overreacting, or underreacting, to stress: This can go both ways. Maybe small things send you into a spiral, or maybe you shut down completely. Both are signs that your nervous system may be stuck in a trauma response, even when the current situation doesn’t seem threatening.
7️⃣ Overthinking and mental exhaustion: When your world hasn’t felt safe, your mind can step in to scan for danger. Overanalyzing, perfectionism, and reading between the lines are all ways the body tries to predict or prevent harm. You’re not overthinking for no reason. It’s protection.
“None of these symptoms exists in isolation, and they’re not random. They’re adaptive. They were your body’s way of helping you survive something that felt too much at the time.”
But I want you to know that when we start to understand these symptoms as messages, not flaws, we can begin responding with support, not shame.
How Somatic Therapy Helps Break the Trauma Cycle
When someone asks me what somatic therapy actually does, I often say this: it helps your body finish what it never got to complete.
So much of trauma healing isn’t about talking through what happened, especially if the story is blurry, complex, or you never felt safe to tell someone.
Somatic work meets you somewhere else: in the sensations, impulses, and protective responses that live in the body long after the event has passed.
Because trauma is stored in the nervous system, not just in memory, it doesn’t always respond to logic or insight.
You can know you’re safe now, but still feel tense, guarded, or shut down.
You might want to relax, but your body might not know how.
This is where somatic therapy becomes such a powerful tool.
It doesn’t push you to relive anything.
Instead, it helps you build awareness and relationship with your body’s cues so you can start to recognize when you're bracing, when you're disconnecting, or when you're ready to soften.
In sessions, we might work with:
🌻 Gentle movement to help release stored tension
🌻 Breathwork to support regulation (without overwhelm)
🌻 Grounding practices to help you come back to the present moment
🌻 Tracking sensations as a way to listen more closely to your body’s messages
🌻 Titration and pacing, which means going slow enough for your system to stay safe and engaged
Over time, this kind of work helps the trauma cycle complete in a new way—one that doesn’t retraumatize, but restores.
The goal isn’t to get rid of anything. It’s to help your body realize that it no longer has to keep carrying the past as if it’s still happening.
That’s where capacity grows.
That’s where safety becomes more than just a concept; it becomes a felt experience. And when that happens, the nervous system starts to recalibrate, little by little. The things that once felt impossible, like rest, connection, and ease, start to feel just a bit more reachable.
If you would like to learn more about how Somatic Therapy can be supportive, check out my blog, Choosing the Right Therapy: Why Holistic & Somatic Methods Work Best.
And if you’re feeling ready for deeper support, I know a few people who would love to walk alongside you. At Life By Design Therapy™, we’re known for our compassionate, premier care that blends holistic and somatic approaches to healing. Reach out when you’re ready!
Final Thoughts
If any part of this resonated, I want to gently remind you, your symptoms make sense.
They’re not random, and they’re not signs that something is wrong with you.
They’re signs that your body has been working hard to protect you, even long after the threat has passed.
Unprocessed trauma can weave itself into the way you move through the world without you even realizing it.
But once you start to understand how your nervous system responds to what it’s lived through, everything starts to feel a little less confusing.
A little less heavy.
There’s a way forward, and it doesn’t require you to force or fix anything about yourself.
Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before. It means building a new relationship with your body, your story, and your capacity to feel safe again.
You don’t need a perfect plan to start. You just need a bit of support, a little space to slow down, and the reminder that your body already knows the way home.
If you’re curious about somatic therapy or feel ready to explore this work together, we’d love to support you.
This Weeks Affirmations
I trust that my body holds wisdom.
Rest isn’t weakness, it’s repair.
I’m allowed to go at the pace that feels right for my nervous system.
I can listen to what my body is saying with curiosity.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means creating new experiences that remind me I’m safe now.
Additional Resources
**If you’re interested in learning more about trauma, check out these books below:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity" by Nadine Burke Harris
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing By Oprah Winfrey
When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Maté M.D.
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Is Trauma Exposure Transforming You? How to Know and What to Do About It
by Ashley Gregory, LMFT
What is Vicarious Trauma?
The term “vicarious traumatization” arose in the mid-1990’s when Laurie Anne Pearlman and Paula S. Mac Ian studied the effects of working with traumatized clients on therapists. They defined it as “a transformation in the helper’s inner experience, as a result of empathetic engagement with traumatized clients and their traumatic experiences, coupled with a commitment or responsibility to help.” Since then, conversations and awareness around “secondary” or “vicarious” trauma have increased and expanded. The sheer number of blogs, Instagram posts and YouTube videos about self-care and mental health has injected these terms into more spaces than before.Yet, at the same time, deeply held beliefs, values and cultural practices maintain the very structures that keep people guessing about whether they are qualified to deserve the care they need as caregivers themselves. I would argue that this is especially true for those of us in the “caring professions'' or folks doing “care work.” In fact, minimizing one’s own experience, as a person exposed to the trauma of others, is itself a trauma exposure response.
My Own Vicarious Trauma Journey
As a twenty-something youth worker, I had no idea how to identify trauma symptoms. Furthermore, I did not understand how the trauma I was exposed everyday to would impact me and the work I did. The organization I worked for essentially hired me to make sure a dozen or more middle schoolers would do their homework right after a long day at school. The school was in the Fruitvale District of Oakland. I had not grown up in Oakland--in fact, I had recently moved there, pretty much straight out of college. Many of my colleagues at the time were also young white people who did not reflect the makeup of the community in which we were working--predominantly Black, Latinx and Asian American and Pacific Islander. Schools like the one where I worked were essentially training grounds for young, predominately white professionals to get their hours and leave to pursue their careers elsewhere. Racist and classist demands on time and money present significant barriers to people of color who want to become teachers. Racist and classist tax laws keep schools woefully underfunded, which means mental health care staff and programs designed to support young people’s emotional well-being are rarely prioritized. With so much going in their lives and so much of their lives spent at school, the trauma exposure these youth experienced played out in the cafeteria, the hallways and their classes. My after-school classroom was no exception. While I loved working with young people, I also became angry, hopeless and guilty. At some point, the school social worker mentioned “vicarious trauma.” Suddenly my experience had a name and I was floored. Over time, it was learning the complex and personalized symptoms of vicarious trauma that helped me develop the tools, practices and rituals I needed to achieve balance and ease.
Trauma Stewardship and the Warning Signs of Trauma Exposure Response
Part of my own journey has been aligned with the practice of “trauma stewardship,” the term Laura van Dernoot Lipky coined as she navigated her own experiences of trauma exposure. In her book Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others, van Dernoot Lipky interviews people in a wide range of professions and from diverse backgrounds about their personal journeys and trauma stewardship wisdom. She adds to the literature of vicarious trauma and explores the warning signs of a trauma exposure response. While some of the warning signs of trauma exposure response may be more obvious behaviors, such as developing an addiction, others are not as clear. For example, one of the warning signs of trauma exposure response is a sense of persecution, an “internal state,” van Dernoot Lipky shares, when “We become convinced that others are responsible for our well-being and that we lack the personal agency to transform our circumstances” (p. 93). These internal shifts can be confusing and complicated to name without support.
While everyone metabolises trauma exposure different, there are commonly experienced symptoms, some of which include:
Exhaustion on every level--mental, physical and emotional
Intrusive thoughts of disturbing images you’ve heard about or seen at work
Nightmares
Hypervigilance
Grandiosity
A sense that you can never do enough
Getting Help
Working with a therapist who has awareness of and experience with vicarious trauma can help you identify how trauma exposure responses show up in your life. Awareness is the first step towards making lasting change. With the support of a therapist, you can create new ways to relate to yourself and others with renewed compassion.
Pearlman, L.A., & Mac Ian, P. S. (1995). Vicarious traumatization: An empirical study of the effects of trauma work on trauma therapists. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 26(6), 558.
